Sunday, August 5, 2012

Alternatives to Statehood

Let us review the possible alternatives to Statehood status for Louisiana or other states.   Presently, we are one of the 50 states of the United States. At least six other states are very poor role models for us, and about 12 are unfit for habitation. If we stipulate that we're not ready for statehood,then we should consider the following:

1. Territorial status -- I like the idea of a supermodel as governor. It's better than some states who have had Holywood actors or country singers as governor. At least she would be entertaining.  Governor Kim?

2. Divine Right Monarchy -- But look at the sorry state of monarchs lately.   Would you want to be governed by any of the current or previous Windsors?   Damn, I'd rather be governed by Socks the Cat, at least he's dead.

3. Peoples' Republic -- Not good, for the same reason as statehood.

4. Military Junta -- But only by swell-looking guys in cool uniforms.
 
5. Governance by Local Warlords -- Sounds like business as usual, but might work.  This might garner Chamber of Commerce support.  Police juries serve in this capacity in Louisiana. 

6. Colony of Hollywood -- True government by the narcissistic set.  Maybe Madonna will adopt a small state.

7. Join With Some Other State -- Let me bring you down to reality here. Our adjacent states are Texas, Arkansas and Mississippi.

8.  Secede, Declare War on the U.S., and Surrender Easily -- Make tourist money off of the peachkeeping force but avoid much infrastructure damage.  U.S. tacks up a "Mission Accomplished" banner on a warship, and funnels copious amounts of money in to improve the infrastructure.


8 comments:

Big Sky Heidi said...

But suppose a state secedes, and the rump nation U.S. decides they're glad to get rid of them?

Meredith said...

Whoopie doo! If we have another state to join us, we have PA, MA, and NJ. We'll wind up with New Jersey.

Bilbo said...

If any country has "People's Republic" as part of it's name, it is probably not a republic, and the people have nothing to do with it.

Anonymous said...

Four states style themselves as 'Commonwealths.' Is that an option to consider?

John said...

Maybe we can just make Louisiana a place to go to eat. Is there a state with a better all around food selection? From the simplest red beans and rice to the spicy Cajun to some of the gourmet restaurants; is there a better place to eat?

Mike said...

I think we all live in the state of confusion.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Heidi -- That would depend on their economic base.

Bilbo -- I agree with you.

John - That's a big part of southern Louisiana's economy.

Mike -- I am registered to vote there.

Anon -- What's in a name?

Meredith -- I feel your pain.

Dianne said...

swell looking guys in cool uniforms just killed me!!
as did Socks the Cat

I'd like NJ to be deemed a statewide reality show set and I'm stage manager :)

My Dad was from Wee-Suh-Anna
Slidell where my Uncle Floyd fell asleep and burned down the trailer park