Monday, August 21, 2017

Odd Street Signs

Any community of any size has the problem or delight of differentiating streets. Some cities go with some ordained plan, like naming streets after states or trees. Some favor historical personages; though lately some of those might require revision. Street names can occasionally yield some surprises. I immediately wondered what the people who named these streets was thinking of at the time. Here are some of my humble suppositions, my friends:

Named by a disrespectful nephew:

Frequently misspelled:

Guys just like to dance here:

A sign often stolen; I wonder why:

One wonders about Katie's:

Why do I think of Superman's girl friend?:

A pleasant surprise for newlyweds:

From the slaughter on Tenth Avenue:

Not a prime real estate market:

Hopefully, delightful surprises, not revelations from the ongoing story of Donald Trump:

This is in Knoxville:

In the neighborhood of Wall Street:

Dysfunction Junction, where things are royally screwed up:

Perhaps named by a Burger King fan:

Frat Row at the University is on this road:

Located in the boondocks:

Mr. Merlot lives here:

Not as separate as one might wish:

Does it whistle "Dixie?":

Can't trust the residents here:

Some people obviously had a good time with naming these streets.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Cultural Appropriation in Food Choice and in Other Things

The term "cultural appropriation" has come into vogue lately; and with anything current, it is subject to lampooning.  This is helped by the outrageousness of people who claim this is taking place, willy-nilly.

For example, recently Lena Dunham said that sushi served at Oberlin College in Ohio is 'cultural appropriation.' Apparently, if prepared and served to Caucasians by Caucasians, this constitutes this sin of 'cultural appropriation.' Oh my God! Does this mean that we shouldn't dare to cook ethnic foods from other cultures? Does my making Swedish meatballs commit this social sin? And what about Italian cuisine? How about tacos? Italian cuisine can cover a broad range of table offerings; some remote from Florence, Rome, or Naples.

And, hey, what about Cajun foods?  Recently, I encountered on-line a Midwestern jambalaya example of that versatile Cajun dish, jambalaya. While I would prefer a different recipe, any jambalaya does involve the use of whatever ingredients are available, including leftover meats. Not everyone has easy access to andouille or French garlic sausage; but there should not be any impediment to enjoy it.

Here's another version: Midwestern Jambalaya.

But Richard and Rima Collin feature several Platonic ideals of jambalaya.

Anyway, if you want jambalaya, these recipes are among some you might try. And, from this Cajun's view, you're not culturally appropriating my culture. Enjoy!

I wonder if it is snotty, not to mention, impractical, to consider preparing or dining on ethnic foods to be a form of 'cultural appropriation.' No, dudes and dudettes; it's cultural appreciation. Get a life and a brain, pompous ass elitists!

Still, the concept of 'cultural appropriation' is not without merit too. For example, several years ago, Victoria Secret model Karlie Kloss appeared on the runway while wearing an Indian headdress and other accessories.  I can see that Native Americans would not be happy at this, seemingly adapting a ceremonial headdress into a fashion show gimmick. (I think it was over the top, too, and offensive.*) And what about sports teams? What about the Washington Redskins?

For that matter, what about the University of Louisiana at Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns or the University of Notre Dame Fighting Irish? There's nary a criticism about these team nickname choices.**

Karlie Kloss and Indian headdress
*I would also criticize her wearing a Masonic apron.

**Probably the worst team nickname there ever was for Pekin (Ill.) High School Chinks! What were those people thinking? Bad kitty!

Monday, August 14, 2017

Wanda, the Swamp Witch

The Bayou Teche environs has its own set of perils; and one of them is Wanda, the Swamp Witch.

This free spirit lives along the bayou away from the settlements by choice. This is so she can pursue her nefarious doings with impunity, including shape-shifting. Actually, she is a good business woman despite her failure to advertise in The Daily Advertiser. Although she is not based in a shop in a mall, she is only a short trip down the bayou by pirogue, and people with special needs seem to find a way.

Special needs to buy gris-gris or hexes, that is. Wanda is the local witchcraft service provider and people know where she is and some find occasion to make arrangements. Who knows what dark motives reside in the hearts of men and women . . . . . Wanda knows! And she services those needs!

Once a group of UL - Lafayette alumni desired to insure that UL - Lafayette would be sure to win over University of Southern Mississippi. They sent their most expendable member down the bayou to deal with the swamp witch. She worked a hex on the Mississippi team but demanded in return that she would be supplied with a year's supply of boudin* and that the entire group should take a vow of celibacy for a year.

When the negotiator returned with the demand, they were shocked. But they gave in and kept their vows and sent the boudin. You don't mess with swamp witches; it's bad karma! And, yes, they got their victory! And relieved wives and angry mistresses, in some cases.

Wanda also sells charms to keep husbands and dogs from straying. Of course, pieces of boudin or hush puppies also help!

Shrimpers routinely drop in on swamp witches to get information as to where to cast their nets, and horse race fans from Lafayette Downs inquire of them regarding racing outcomes. The Bayou Teche Swamp Witch does it conservatively; she's inclined to counsel buying show or even place tickets. But she can pick Daily Doubles or Trifectas.

But there's something that swamp witches can't do very well; and that's affect political races. Last year, Wanda predicted that Hillary Clinton would be elected President. We all know how well that turned out. Yet, the Democrats captured the Governorship in Louisiana. 

Wanda put it well: "Politics is the true Bitch Goddess, not Success." It's always good to remember that.

Wanda dressed for the heat of the bayou.

*A type of sausage

Saturday, August 12, 2017

"What a Woman in Love Won't Do" - Country Music Surprise

This song by a country singer named Sandy Posey had an unexpected twist in the lyrics by John D. Loudermilk. Sometime back in the 1970's country music departed from its rural roots and took on more real to life themes. This singer started her career with a "poor is me" song entitled "Born a Woman" exhuding incredible bathos and apparently got more philosophic about it all. There are, after all, many ways to cope when you want to.

I hope you enjoy this departure from my usual japes, humor, and commentary.  Please leave some comments, if you please!

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Missy's Big College Date

When young Missy Chauvin was a j-student at L.S.U., she caught the eye of a president one of the fraternities, who expressed interest in going out with her. His name was Wilfred; and he was from a posh old uptown New Orleans family.

Naively, she accepted. And she breathlessly wondered what thrills or surprises it would bring.

Came the grand moment. Her college leader showed up, wearing jeans and a frat shirt. Purple and gold, naturally! And smelling slightly fragrant. Oh well, this would allow her to be seen more visibly.

But the bigger surprise was that the campus leader showed up with one of the pledges also! Yes, a wee little guy who came along and said nothing.

Little guy was not introduced, but remained quietly on the side. He was apparently along to drive, fetch, and carry; or maybe to learn some pointers on how a member of the fraternity should act.

Anyway, Frat President took her (and little unassuming pledge) to a club. Missy was not quite twenty at the time; and she envisioned herself winding up in the East Baton Rouge Parish jail and making desperate calls to her parents. But, no, campus big shots and athletes are exempt from the worries and rules that are inflicted on the common herd of university students!

Wilfred tried to get her loopy; but Missy set her limit at two drinks. And they were stiffer than she was used to. Missy wondered if he had slipped her a roofie. Then he popped the money question: "How 'bout you and I go to your place 'n screw?"

"No thanks. I'm not ready for doing that."

"Okay.  Then, would ja wanna go do a line or two; or perhaps smoke some joints?"

"No, thank you, Wilfred."

By now if you're thinking that she was scoring a goose egg with Wilfred, you're absolutely right. And you know something? Missy just plain did not care what the jerk thought! 

Wilfred was thinking, "This is one tight chick." And he took her back embarrassingly early (8:30 P.M.) and settled for a perfunctory peck on her cheek. A consolation prize for an unsatisfying evening for both.

And as the guys were leaving, suddenly Missy ran and caught up with the little pledge to gave him a soul kiss and a pelvic grind for him to remember! Maybe those two drinks did loosen her inhibitions! Missy had realized that the little pledge went along to be a live witness of the older frat boy's prowess with the ladies and she wanted to give him something to remember her by!

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Coffin Calendar for Undertakers

Every year, about this time, art calendars are sold as wall decorations as well as means for discerning dates. Several conservation organizations such as the National Audubon Society offer for sale beautiful ones so that it's likely to make logging in appointments or seeing what day of the week Halloween falls on more enjoyable.

For a different twist for people who are searching for that breathtakingly amazing calendar, here's one that definitely is out of the ordinary. The Lindner Company, a Polish manufacturer of coffins, offers each year a calendar featuring scantily-clad models posing on or beside their wares! I've included an image below to give a sample of one from an earlier year; some of them are definitely NSFW or for impressionable children.

This one might be a great stocking-stuffer for Goth guys, too!

Anyway, if you wonder how far the art calendar market will go, this might give you an idea!


Sunday, August 6, 2017

Tee Boudreaux Is in Love

The pretty young schoolteacher was concerned about one of her eleven-year-old students, "Tee" Boudreaux. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, " 'Tee' Boudreaux, why has your schoolwork been so poor lately?"

" Mais, I can't concentrate, Teacher!" replied 'Tee.' I done fell in love."

"Oh, is that so?" said the teacher, holding back an urge to smile. "And with whom?"

"Mais, wid you," he answered.

"But 'Tee'," exclaimed the secretly pleased young lady, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday; but I don't want a child."

"Oh, don't worry, Teacher" said 'Tee* Boudreaux reassuringly, "I'll be careful."

*Dat's Cajun for "little" (p'tit).