Monday, November 20, 2017

A Little Miscommunication

Cordie Mae Wilson, who ran a gas station and gift shop in Southern Mississippi, hired Brenda, a girl from Jones County to run her store some of the time. Things mostly worked out; but since the store was smack dab long side of I-59, sometimes Brenda had communication issues.

You see, I-59 was the main interstate highway going diagonally through Southern Mississippi, and lots of tourists pass through daily. Cordie Mae got a lot of business with them; and learned over time to understand what they were saying. Or trying to say.

Brenda had a lot to learn also.

For instance, some guy from Massachuetts came in and asked to buy some pee cans. Brenda was a bit amazed; and told the fellow that using their rest rooms were gratis; and what's more, they were cleaned twice a day and even had pot potpourri that her Granny homemade.

Still, the guy got more confused. Brenda thought, 'Wow! This guy has to go real bad or is going to do some serious travelin.'

Along came Cordie Mae. She learned enough tourist English in her time to become halfway proficient in talking with them. Matter of fact, she coulda taught a class in Tourist English at the college if needed.

So Cordie Mae said, "Brenda, sell him a sack of nuts!" And said, "Mister, no offense; but we call 'em pecans (pronounced puh-kawns) 'round these parts!"

Pecans (pronounced puh-kawns)

So harmony on I-59 was restored. Cordie Mae even gave the Massachusetts guy a slice of pecan pie.

And that tourist also took advantage of the cleanest restroom in Pearl River County.

Pronunciation of pecan map

Friday, November 17, 2017

Sakura the Otaku Has a Break from the Usual

Sakura, like many unattached people in their 20's with limited income, continued to live with her parents. To amplify her story somewhat, she left home for a while to pursue employment in Portland, the home of the supergeeks; but returned back home after a year and found a job clerking in a local store.

Shortly after she left home but before she returned, her parents sold their place and moved into a smaller house in response to the lesser need for space as her siblings also left and were on their own. Therefore, the one unused room was in the basement.

To be sure, she found the local scene to be boring; and found her hobbies and time on the internet to be more reinforcing to her. What did she do? Well, she followed a lot of social media; even posting japes at time on web sites. In some ways, she was even an internet troll at times.

These were her hobbies. First of all, she was a collector of anime figures like a true otaku. Also, she was a gamer girl par excellence! And got a great charge out of both.

Not surprisingly, Sakura was a feminist like most millennials; and she was adverse to sexual stereotypes. She regarded them as concepts to be challenged on every occasion. And yet, she was an ironic twist on the stereotype of the guy who lived in his parents' basement, but a better groomed and better smelling one (most of the time, probably)!

For the basement was a totally safe haven, providing a setting with emotional support and minimal risk. 

I think you have to understand why some choose this type of lifestyle. It's risk-free for the timid or unadventurous.

However, recently Sakura had an adventure of sorts. During her morning run to Starbuck's for coffee, while she was checking the e-mail on her smart phone a guy asked if they could share a table. They made perfunctory conversation at first, but soon merged into a full-fledged encounter!

Anyway, Sakura was late showing up for work that day, and the manager was not pleased.

Sakura was, though. And resolved to have that kind of coffee break more often.

Even otakus need to be pleasingly laid sometime.

Sakura in her natural setting.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

An Odd Tomb

St. Louis Cemetery Number 1 is the oldest cemetery in New Orleans. It is the resting place of some of the historical notables; notably former mayor Etienne de Boré, world chess champion Paul Morphy, landowner Bernard Marigny, notorious sadistic slave owner Delphine LaLaurie, and voodoo queen Marie Laveau. Not surprisingly, the above-ground graves located there are all old; no surprise since some of them were made before 1800. (A bit of local advice: Don't visit this graveyard unless you're with a tour. There's a high danger of you getting mugged there.)

Recently, a new person may have his final resting place there: the actor Nicholas Cage. He had built a pyramidal grave for his permanent resting place. This pyramid definitely makes a contrast with the typical look of tombs in St. Louis Number 1:

Old school traditional burial oven common in New Orleans cemeteries:

I can say that the Cage tomb will be a topic for discussion long-term, if for no other reason than it raises a lot of unanswerable questions. Why a pyramid?

Monday, November 13, 2017

Spotted Richard?

While browsing among the import foods in World Market, I happened upon cans of something called "Spotted Dick." 

Curiosity got the best of me; and I discovered that it is an English pudding made of suet and currants or raisins (hence, the "spotted" in the food product name). It's usually served with custard.

English food, while often being known for being subpedestrian in its flavor, occasionally does make up for it with original names. Hence Bangers, Welsh Rarebit, Stargazy Pie*, or Toad in the Hole.

I surmised that even the taste-challenged English would have become aware of the possible double entendre nature of this food name; and I discovered that this was so.

The Flintshire County Council seriously proposed renaming it "Spotted Richard!" Now that terminology would be acceptable for use in American restaurants! Spotted Richard, anyone?

*The little fish heads put me off.

Spotted Dick AKA Spotted Richard

Friday, November 10, 2017

What to Do After Sex?

The bi-weekly gathering of les femmes of St. Cletus's Parish in the New Orleans coffeehouse sometimes has conversations that run into the borderline risqué. Let's face it: this is partly due to the inherent interest in some topics and also raising these helps to egg on some more reticent members among the coffee-drinkers to reveal more about themselves than they planned.

Okay, the topic that came up for the day was what to do after sex. Needless to say, both the sexually active conversational participants and the celibate ones found this interesting! One reason why this topic is intrinsically interesting is because some in the group occasionally reporting having  problems with post-coital tristesse. Bonne nuit tristesse! Alas, Galen got it wrong when he wrote that "every animal is sad after coitus except for the human female and the rooster." One wonders about his research sampling methods . . . . Were his partners accomplished in faking orgasms, or happy it was over? 

Anyway, the two usual suspects for post-coital activities, sleeping and cuddling came up right away. Missy Chauvin pointed out that some guys were just not that good at cuddling, and that maybe cuddling lessons should be added to the college curriculum!* That got a rise, to be sure! Still, some said that cuddling is a great way to come down afterwards. 

Also mentioned was that old reliable, Netflix.

Hilda Walspurgis recommended that, if you feel energized after sex, then that's a perfect time to do some house cleaning! Nothing like vacuuming to carry on the feeling!

Missy reported that having great sex made her feel like practicing basketball. She was the reigning H-O-R-S-E champion of the Parish! This explains the popularity of the N.B.A.

Along those same lines, Clotilde Badeaux said that she would immediately segue into her yoga regime. Clara Thibodaux asked, "What about the guy you were canoodling with?"

Her response was, "I don't know. The last one left while I was doing down dog and farted!"

Speaking of cleaning, neat freak Marie d'Aquin said that she always took a shower immediately afterwards. And it saves water to shower with a friend. When asked if the guy she had sex with is a friend, she replied, "Well, I do give him a performance review before asking him to join me!"

Bernadette Richard raised an interesting possibility: spend some time afterwards on a post-performance review. Clearly, she was influenced by some of the new thinking in business! And, who knows, maybe it might increase the enjoyment of future encounters . . . . especially for those not following the short-term (hookup) mating strategy.**

Madeline cautiously inquired whether the same sort of activity choices would apply after making out. Immediately this caused some of the gathering to wonder whether their assumptions regarding her and Officer Pete were valid. Not that anyone had the nerve to ask!

Suzette Picou, AKA the Existential Stripper, said that after sex she would then make a pot of coffee. This mystified the good ladies; but she put it in terms to re-priming the pump for an encore!

Madeline asked, like a typical Orleanian, "Do you serve it straight or café au lait and use real chicory coffee or that weak stuff that tourists drink?" 

*That would be a real plus for the P.E. Department!

**A concept that you can credit or blame evolutionary psychology for.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Piling On

Among the various things that the striped shirt guys take exception to in football are piling on or unnecessary roughness. It's symptomatic of recent times that in the political or social realm too many people are ready to let fly with both barrels over damned near everything! And assuming the worst in others.

Okay, I get it. Many people are disappointed with what they think is the direction that the country is going in; and they have real life problems that are hard to get the proper handle on. Frankly, terrorism, job prospects, the fragile health care system, are real enough and scare me too. And, who knows, maybe some people are not getting laid often enough? 

But there's also a tendency that many people have to jump on others' remarks with both feet gleefully. Godwin's Law, or the reductio ad Hitlerium, is not entirely a myth.  

The reason why on-line forums sometimes degenerate into name-calling, and our national discourse is often filled with acrimony is because some people go through life loaded for bear with the least provocation. It would be good if they could dial it down a bit. And their digestive systems would be better served if they would just chill!

This also applies to the two or three major national newspapers. In spades!

So remember that, whatever your Political Flavor of the Month happens to be: there are good Republicans and good Democrats that also want to come up with real, practical solutions to problems. Demonizing the perceived opposition is lazy thinking, in my opinion. Likewise, whatever religion you might profess, other people professing different beliefs may have a lot in common with you.

And, to put things in a SEC frame of mind: there are even good Ole Miss fans!

An odd cartoon with a timely message:
Pride and Prejudice seen from a non-Austen perspective.

Monday, November 6, 2017

A Surprising Yooper Term

The term "Yooper" refers to a resident of Michigan's Upper Peninsula. 

Going into the northern peninsula of Michigan is an odd experience of sorts, as it's far less populated and manages to be colder than the mitten part of the state. (Which did not vote for Mitt Romney, by the way.) Anyway, this Yooper part of that northern state has some unique vocabulary and cuisine items.

In our travel across the Upper Peninsula, we were surprised to see cafes offer pasties on the menu. Needless to say, this caused us a little bit of confusion. Where we came from, a pasty referred to a paste-on nipple cover, such as worn by desnuda performers and those who want to go braless without being obvious about it.

Still, some sex shops sell edible panties; did edible pasties happen to make the menu in Northern Michigan?

Woman shamelessly flaunting her pasties.
We soon discovered that in the Upper Peninsula, the term 'pasty' refers to a meat pie: a concoction consisting of minced beef or pork, potatoes, onions, carrots, rutabaga, and other vegetables baked into a hand-held pie. It had its origins from Cornwall, in England.  Here's a sample recipe. (Kind of like a calzone.)

We tried some; they were very good, despite the strange rutabaga vegetable! 

A pasty, a mainstay of Cornish cuisine that is
also popular on the Upper Peninsula
Just a further remark: the wearable kind of pasty is pronounced "pay-stee." The edible kind is pronounced "pass-tee."