tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12443086148774761482024-03-05T11:00:48.262-05:00eViL pOp TaRtA humor blog, plus assorted squawks, facile observations, philosophical pratfalls, and other miscellania from my mind. I'm doing this strictly for fun. I'm not up to the responsibility of having disciples.eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.comBlogger1259125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-10542577540909422182020-06-16T11:59:00.000-04:002020-06-16T11:59:50.470-04:00Super Beehive<b><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Here's a festive hair style for that ultimate in retro look! The mid-1960's beehive. Imagine wearing that one to teach in; or to wear to an academic department meeting! Living on the edge? Here's one for Sunday School.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I'll bet that would look absolutely fine on Rodeo Drive or Fifth Avenue!</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But I'll pass. The Bardot twist was too high maintenance for me. This one also looks like hard work. Will the mussed up look ever pass?</span></b><br />
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<br />eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-76092276345156212182020-05-26T16:31:00.002-04:002020-05-27T18:33:59.311-04:00What to Worry About Next?<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>What to worry about next?</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>It would seem that the coronavirus, the usual stupidity in Washington, and the hijinks occurring in Baton Rouge (and several state capitals near you!), there would be enough on the fearmongers' plates. </b><span style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99);"><b>Well, you could toss in the two major political parties to serve as sources of amusement and network television. </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99);"><b>But no: there's more!</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99);"><b>It seems that Orleanians Hilda Walspurgis and Anna Pacquin are stormily indignant over another peril to threaten the peace of proper New Orleans* citizens.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99);"><b>It seems that we now have to worry about 5G!</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99);"><b>Okay. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99);"><b>It seems that 5G is the latest development in cellular microwave transmissions. Clearly the next level over 4G, and light years better than 3G.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99);"><b>(Our state of finances could always use a few G's in </b></span></span><b style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99); color: #073763; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">the ole bank account.)</b><br />
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<b style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99); color: #073763; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Anyway, this 5G allegedly causes cancer, autism, even possibly hemorrhoids. Well, I'm exaggerating; but only a little.</b><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99);"><b>Some people always have to have something to fear. I suppose the boogerman looks under the bed each night to see if Chuck Norris is there!, </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99);"><b>Anyway, they went around St. Cletus's Parish neighborhood with a petition to stop 5G. </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99);"><b>Their technique to obtain names was two-pronged, using both the carrot and the stick approach. Anna wore some serious décollété (the carrot, maybe?), and Hilda served up the stick with her doomsday threats.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99);"><b>But, mostly, they got a lot of signatures against 5G so that people would get off their backs. Damned nuisance petition-mongers!</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>*Pronunciation note: Most natives call it 'New Orlins' in most of the city. Pretentious Uptowners and lousy songwriters say 'New Or-leenz.' Only idiots and sarcastic Yankees call it 'Nawlins.' For true! </b></span><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99);"><b>Darlin, it gets further complicated. New Orlins is in 'Orleenz Parish. So much for consistency being the hobgoblin for small minds.</b></span></span>eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-70113809896026158162020-05-14T20:23:00.000-04:002020-05-14T20:23:04.445-04:00The Prophetess and Crazy Chester Meet the Fifth Horseman<span style="color: purple; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Well, peeps, you've heard of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: they are commonly reckoned as War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death. Now it happened that Madeline the </b><span style="caret-color: rgb(128, 0, 128);"><b>Prophetess and Crazy Chester ran into a fifth one: Rude Mannered <i>Turistas</i>.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(128, 0, 128);"><b>Running into strange sorts is commonplace if you're down in New Orleans's French Quarter in the wee hours of the morning, especially away from the Tourists. New Orleans has always been tolerant of weirdness. Drunks, </b></span></span><span style="color: purple; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(128, 0, 128);"><b>mischievous youths, and <i>Turistas</i> sporting berets for the duration we can deal with. However, Madeline and Chester ran into a new twist.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(128, 0, 128);"><b>It happened innocently enough. Chester and Madeline were talking; just commenting on trivia (both were good at wasting-time talk. And they were talking in the language of Descartes and Pascal.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(128, 0, 128);"><b>Oops! Maybe Justin Wilson and Dave Robichaux. Yes, they were using a dialect of French and Louisiana Creole mixture. To be candid, the French as spoken in New Orleans's French Quarter would cause the hoity-toity Parisian to shudder! (They're linguistic purists there.)</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(128, 0, 128);"><b>And, without any preamble, this loud and brassy middle-aged women approached them and bawled them out:</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(128, 0, 128);"><b><i>"This is the United States. Talk English!"</i></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(128, 0, 128);"><b>So Crazy Chester goes to Madeline, "<i>The United States? When did this happen?"</i></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(128, 0, 128);"><b>"And Madeline replies, <i>"I dunno. Missed that item now that the Picyaune is no longer around." </i>She was alluding to the fact that the <i>T-P </i>was bought out by a Baton Rouge paper (Good Lord!). And everyone knows that there be monsters upriver, on the other side of the Bonnet Carre Spillway, and no one should risk his immortal soul by venturing there.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(128, 0, 128);"><b>The rude-mannered visitor decided that those two were psycho.</b></span></span><br />
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eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-3566025211636388212020-05-06T18:51:00.003-04:002020-05-06T18:51:32.803-04:00Thanking the Saints in the Times-Picyaune<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>The old <i>Times-Picyaune </i>had a delightful quirk that definitely made it part of the scene in Old and Present-Day New Orleans: thanking the saints in the personals section of the classified ads in </b><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>the T-P. </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>No, not the New Orleans Saints football team; the heavenly saintly numbers like in <i>"When the Saints Come Marching In!"</i></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Yes, in the personals you can see the usual:</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><i>I am applying for clemency.</i></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><i>I am responsible for no other debts than my own.</i></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><i>I am applying for a license as notary public.</i></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>In other words, the usual sort of business that personals ads carry.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>But, for many years, the old <i>Times-Picyaune</i> would also have these peculiar saints ads:</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Thanks to the Little Flower for hearing my prayers.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Thanks to St. Jude for favor granted.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Thanks to St. Aloysius for the Saints winning.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Thanks to St. Anthony for answering my </b></span></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>prayers.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>St. Expedité answered my prayers. Thank you!</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Apparently, whatever be the questionable merits of the <i>New York Times </i>or the <i>Washington Post, </i>apparently the <i>Times-Picyaune </i>was celestially home-delivered and had a saintly following.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-67252373655658117212020-04-04T19:42:00.000-04:002020-04-04T19:42:10.797-04:00A Unit of Male Coolness<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, "Sans Serif";">
<u><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong>Background</strong></span></u></div>
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<span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong>Previously, a unit of feminine beauty, the <u>millihelen</u>, has already been proposed. This useful concept, based on the conceit that because Helen of Troy was rumored to cause the launching of a thousand ships, you could express the degree of feminine beauty in terms of how many ships a given female would she cause to be launched. For example, if Heidi Klum inspired the sailors of 44 ships to go out, she would warrant a rating of 44 millihelens. And Britney Spears would draw the exertions of ten ships, gaining her 10 millihelens.</strong></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong>Guys, of course, are not required to be beautiful. As a matter of fact, evolutionary psychologists have proposed the women choose potential mates on the basis of being a good provider, having higher status, liking children (and pets), being ambitious and industrious, being dependable, having athletic process, and having good health. Less emphasis is placed on physical attractiveness, except as a possible index of good health (Buss, 2004). However, many of those important traits may be summarized in terms of how cool the guy manages to be (or dissemble).</strong></span></div>
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<u><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong>The Concept</strong></span></u></div>
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<span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong>I am indebted to the movie, <em>The Tao of Steve</em>, for this idea. In that movie, the male protagonist noted that really, really cool guys tended to be named Steve. For example, the actor Steve McQueen, still charismatic in the reruns of <em>The</em> <em>Magnificant Seven, The Getaway, </em>and <em>Bullitt</em>, and the Hawaiian detective character Steve McGarett of the oldie Hawaii Five-o. Does coolness devolve to Steveness? Perhaps so; therefore, if we could express how cool a guy is in terms of how much Steveness he has, we'd have a workable measure.</strong></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong>Therefore, I propose the unit of measure, the <u>millisteve</u>. A man (or boy) measuring one millisteve has one/thousandth the degree of coolness of Steve McQueen.</strong></span></div>
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<u><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong>Some Examples</strong></span></u></div>
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<span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong>My extra X-chromosome entitles me to an opinion on this, okay?</strong></span></div>
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<table border="1" bordercolor="#000000" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="1"><tbody>
<tr><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> Name </strong></span></td><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> Millisteves </strong></span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> Matthew McConaughey </strong></span></td><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> 33</strong></span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> Hugh Jackman</strong></span></td><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> 28</strong></span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> Patrick Swayze</strong></span></td><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> 21</strong></span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> Rob Lowe</strong></span></td><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> 17 </strong></span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> Charlie Sheen</strong></span></td><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> 14</strong></span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> Hugh Grant</strong></span></td><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> 11</strong></span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> John Wayne*</strong></span></td><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> 8</strong></span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> Robert Redford</strong></span></td><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> 6</strong></span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> Alec Baldwin*</strong></span></td><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> 2</strong></span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> Justin Bieber </strong></span></td><td><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong> -30</strong></span></td></tr>
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<strong><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;">*Grossly overrated.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></strong>
<strong><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;">And Now, Something for the Guys:</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><u>Implications for Males</u></span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Once you all get this point in mind, you guys can score a winning impression and possibly score in other ways, too. [Swear now that you will use this information for good only!] I'll admit, women and girls are confusing for males who are inclined only toward the black-and-white obvious and unable to get subtleties. After all, how good are they at getting hints? And, they're well-known to be disposed to like action movies or the Three Stooges.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Here's the essence. Just ask yourself, What Would Steve Do? (WWSD!) And do the same.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Yes. Be Steve.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #ff0099; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"> Buss, D. M. (2004). <em>Evolutionary Psychology, 2nd ed</em>. Boston: Allyn and Bacon.</span></strong></div>
eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-83063464852708001382020-03-29T10:38:00.000-04:002020-03-29T10:38:10.199-04:00Earl K. Long, Known as "Uncle Earl"<b><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Earl K. Long, one of the Governors of Louisiana, was elected to three nonconsecutive terms as Governor in the period of time between the late 1939s to 1960. As a matter of fact, he died while running for the U.S. Senate. He was flamboyant, to say the least! He was a progressive, 1950's-style in the South. He even had a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blaze_Starr">lady friend</a> who was a mainstay on Bourbon Street and was tucked away for a time in one of the state's mental hospitals. He got out by firing the Superintendent.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">His older brother was Huey Long.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">He had been referred to as "The Last of the Red-Hot Papas."</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /></span></b><b><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">He was the subject of this rockabilly song by Jay Chevalier:</span></b><br />
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eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-78946923564064196952020-03-25T19:39:00.001-04:002020-03-25T19:39:38.739-04:00Another Session of EN 455, Victorian Poetry<span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75;"><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px;"></span><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Another session of EN 455, Victorian Poetry:</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px;"></span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Dr. Smathers (Visiting Professor from the United Kingdom): Today we will discuss a poem by one of the most beloved of Victorian poets: "Pippa Passes," by Robert Browning. Can any of you scholars give us some insights into the poem, its theme and message?</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Mike Brown (a member of the football team): Uh, it's about this chick named Pippa; and she's got a very gifted arm. She's a triple threat, as she can execute the option three ways, and passes accurately for 50 yards!. Because of that, she's the first girl to make the varsity, and may eventually be a pro prospect.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Belinda Cortez (a pre-med major): You would make a lewd interpretation on that poem. Actually, it's a poem about the success of her eliminative processes.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Mike Brown: That's a very alimentary conclusion.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Dr. Smathers: Now, Ms. Cortez, I think that you might have missed the optimistic message: God's in His heaven/All's right with the world! How does that fit in?</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Belinda Cortez: She had a successful movement; and she has afterwards that satisfied feeling. My boyfriend and my dog both always feel better when they have successfully pottied.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Mike Brown: No, she completed a pass for a touchdown!</span><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Tom Wilson: Touchdown is the clown in <i>As You Like It</i>.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Dr. Smathers: No, the poem is about a young, silk-winding girl who wandes innocently through the region of Asolo, kindness and virtue to the people she passes. As she sings her song she influences others to act for the good — or, at the least, reminds them of the existence of a moral order. </span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Dewayne Fontenot: %$%+$$!-oh?</span><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Clarissa Tyler: She was also known for her ass.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Dr. Smathers: I don't recall any beast of burden mentioned in Robert Browning's poem.</span><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;"><br /></span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Kate Thomas: No, silly. Pippa's the sister of the model who married Prince William! She has a Kardashian bum.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Dr. Smathers: Kardashian bum? Would you please clarify for the class that term you used . . . . I don't think you were referring to a vagrant?</span><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;"><br /></span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Kate Thomas: You know, Kim Kardashian. She has a lot of junk in her trunk.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Later on, Dr. Smathers went into the English Department office.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">The Secretary: Smathers, how did it go?</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">Dr. Smathers: Oh, they talked, for a change. But I got more than I bargained for. I'm not <span style="font-style: italic;">au courant</span> on modern slang. Somehow the class wound up talking about debris in the boot of a Ms. Kardashian's auto.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /><span style="font-family: "google sans" , sans-serif , "roboto"; font-size: 16.25px; font-weight: 700;">The Secretary: Never end a sentence with a preposition. One day you will learn to understand us Americans.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "google sans", sans-serif, Roboto; font-size: 16.25px;" /></span>eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-4519110876532735872020-03-18T19:29:00.002-04:002020-03-18T19:37:14.400-04:00Comment on the Coronavirus<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>There is some serious stuff going on, and it's time to stop pussyfooting and get serious about it. This coronavirus is real, and should not be taken lightly. Yes, there is a broad range of symptoms that can occur, ranging from very unpleasant to life-threatening. And, presently, there is no vaccine. There may be one in the undetermined future; but right now all we can manage is a holding action.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Right now we don't know how many casualties will occur from it; but we should recognize that the loss of anyone's life is not acceptable. Because of this, all of us should take up the practice of social distancing. And hygiene. Scrub your hands. Wear disposable gloves. If you think you have symptoms, try to get tested. Lay a supply of provisions; but don't hoard. And profiteering from this crisis is beyond disgusting.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>And, above all, start caring about our fellow man. And act with sense.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Now is the time to put our political and social differences behind us. These divide us at a time when we have long past our luxury of petty arguments. All of us are in this together; we may handle it if we're on the same page.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>I regret to write that I have now enabled moderator control of comments. After nearly ten years I have to take this step. Sorry. I do value your thoughts -- but I do not want to provide an occasion for someone to indulge his sick fantasies. You know what I mean . . . .</b></span>eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-31532650810835660802020-03-17T00:15:00.000-04:002020-03-17T00:15:07.586-04:00Happy St. Patrick's Day!<span style="color: #274e13; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Happy St. Patrick's Day to you all. Here's a cheerful-sounding, yet pointed song "If I Should Fall From Grace With God" by the Irish folk-punk group <i>The Pogues:</i></b></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">For those preferring a more traditional sound, here's the Clancy Brothers singing "Rising of the Moon."</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I did a St. Patrick's Day post once before. Here's a twist on the meaning of <a href="https://evil-pop-tart.blogspot.com/2011/03/erin-go-braless.html">Erin Go Bragh</a>. Anyway, in this time of </span></b><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(39, 78, 19);"><b>coronavirus worries, it's important to keep our spirits up.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #274e13; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(39, 78, 19);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #274e13; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(39, 78, 19);"><b>Erin go Bragh!</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #274e13; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(39, 78, 19);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #274e13; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(39, 78, 19);"><b>Angel</b></span></span>eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-8957494749299501182020-03-14T19:49:00.000-04:002020-03-14T19:50:13.076-04:00The Ecumenical Prayer Session<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>In a wholesome spirit of Ecumenicism, the Real Deal Baptist Church and St. Cletus Parish decided to hold a joint prayer session, singing, and miniature golf tournament. After all, Brother Bob and Father Devereaux, both experienced in the foibles of their flocks, figured nothing could possibly go wrong by offering a mixed schedule.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>But -- wait! This is New Orleans.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>It was true. Missy Chauvin on Action News television slipped in a good word for the prayer session/singing. Moreover, the audience got a bump up because <i>Action News</i> also carried an announcement as follows:</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>"Nude party held at political meeting; details at ten!"</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Now if there's anything that juices up interest in New Orleans, it's Saints </b></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>football, scandal, and sheer quirkiness. Oh well, two out of three ain't bad. Orleanians like their religion in small doses; fifteen-minute sermons tops! Especially if the Saints have an afternoon game.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Well, Brother Bob and Father Devereaux expected a small turnout for their efforts. However, Suzette the Existential Stripper decided to enter into the festivities as a way of riding the coattails of the free-lance stripper business. (She also did paint-stripping; she ain't proud, nohow!) And the Bearcat Marching Band, hoping for free glimpses and publicity, came around too.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>The general confusion got the two events confused. Alas, neither Father Devereaux nor Brother Bob planned a political meeting; but that's how the <i>mentis </i></b></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><i>populi</i> took it. </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Folks got too much politicking, and they got tired of this Lent thing right away. </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>And there were a few people out there that were just jonesing for a miniature golf tournament! As far as they could tell, nobody had to give up </b><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>miniature golf for Lent!</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Note to prudes: This DOES NOT require action!</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>[I wrote </b></span></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>this before the apparent need for social distancing. I think that both Brother Bob and Father D. would have eschewed large gatherings now.]</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117); color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"><b>Happy Pi Day, you all!</b></span></span>eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-28913016013080768442020-02-26T16:52:00.000-05:002020-02-26T16:52:04.918-05:00The Correct Pronunciation of New Orleans<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Now that Mardi Gras is past, and the local devout are into Lent, it's time to mention again that there is a correct way to pronounce the largest city in Louisiana but; a number of incorrect ways.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>First off, it ain't <i>N'Awlins</i>. God Almighty! That sound is discordant to the ears of the locals. Don't even say that in fun. It is likely to be taken as making fun of Orleanians' accents. Perhaps some Lakeview Yat* or some uptown debutante or some Gentilly good old boy will kick you soundly in the seat for saying that!</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Also, don't ever call it <i>New ORLEENZ! </i>Yes, I know; those damned songs use that pronunciation; but it ain't right! N.O. locals tend to roll their eyes.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>It's correctly "Way down yonder in New </b></span></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Orlins."</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Check this out from <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/new-orleans-oregon-detroit-local-pronunciation-2018-6"><i>Business Insider</i></a>.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>*Like me. I'm a proud Y</b></span></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>at.</b></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-77378626093747268912020-02-12T11:05:00.001-05:002020-02-12T11:05:51.108-05:00The Political Campaign<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Well, Crazy Chester was finally persuaded by some locals in the city ward to run for the legislature.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Yes, he dropped his scally hat into that charmed circle of pols without the blessing of the local ward heeler. Needless to say, the odd crew at St. Cletus's Parish and the local Baptists found him a breath of fresh air despite his connections with the local underworld. So, with Suzette as his campaign manager, he launched into a vigorous campaign of impromptu speeches at local bars, Knights of Columbus Halls, and the rubber chicken dinners before business groups.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Naturally, he still traded in numbers; this was before the racing season when there was only football and politics going on. People get darned tired of those, and long for something with flavor since the local politicians seem to have sent their mistresses to the Gulf Coast of Mississippi for sun and invisibility from the snooping tabloids.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Actually, Crazy Chester almost dropped out of the race. It happened inadvertently; Crazy Chester dropped into Mass at St. Cletus's' and Father Devereaux gave a </b></span><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(32, 18, 77);"><b>sermon on the inadvisability of consorting with bad companions. Now Chester dealt with grifters, numbers-runners, 'gentlemen's club' entertainers, and locoweed sellers on a daily basis; but he wondered if he was crossing that Plimsoll line of moral turpitude. After all, the Louisiana Legislature is not known as a place for choirboys!</b></span></span><br />
<b style="caret-color: rgb(32, 18, 77); color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"><br /></b>
<b style="caret-color: rgb(32, 18, 77); color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;">He expressed his anxieties regarding his candidacy to Prophetess Madeline; but felt better when he saw her wearing a "You Get Better Odds with Chester."!</b><br />
<b style="caret-color: rgb(32, 18, 77); color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"><br /></b>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b> </b></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>"We know of no spectacle so ridiculous as that of the British public in one of its periodical fits of morality." -- Lord Macaulay</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>New Orleans gets these fits of morality too; but a few sazeracs are the usual cure.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>*Still, the local talent palls when compared to the REAL professionals: Congresspersons.</b></span>eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-38360909418144101442020-02-05T09:08:00.003-05:002020-02-05T09:08:36.875-05:00An Aggie Joke<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">The professors at A&M were having their weekly staff meeting when one teacher spoke up and said "Do you people realize we have a student here who has been attending classes for over nine years and he still hasn't received a degree?" </span></span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></b>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Why no, we didn't know that. What can we do? We don't want A&M to get a bad name!"</span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">" I know," one teacher said, "Let's gather all the students at Kyle field and give this guy a pop test. Something simple he can't possibly miss, and then we will hand him his diploma."</span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The next day everyone was gathered in the stadium. The teacher announced over the PA system, "Now, ponder, if you can answer this question, you will become a graduate of Texas A&M. Okay?"</span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Okay," he said. </span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Now take your time and answer this. How much is 3 plus 4?"</span></b><b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> </span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The student was deep in thought for a long period of time. </span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Finally he spoke. "The answer is 7!"</span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The crowd went into an uproar and started hollering, whooping, and chanting, "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE, GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE !"</span></b></div>
eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-24895216497569973292020-01-08T08:46:00.001-05:002020-01-08T08:46:57.769-05:00Crass Bumper Sticker<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99);"><b>While innocently driving on I - 10 (if that can be loosely accepted), I saw one of the more tasteless bumper stickers to ever grace a vehicle. Later, I googled it; and found a surfeit of examples of this genre:</b></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoCdddhsywfV2bWWUxq2m5XUcl29CX1EkbKnMXgeXK2NQjWkkigipKbdDuIurGHIJ-AxRT4C_pEJv9-VnNselJFMOUz6Z_Sd-pB3UKRcZyFMIRtIgMbIMsjrciicOIyxdp7h_N8thpxCCw/s1600/Gas-Grass-Or-Ass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="654" data-original-width="964" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoCdddhsywfV2bWWUxq2m5XUcl29CX1EkbKnMXgeXK2NQjWkkigipKbdDuIurGHIJ-AxRT4C_pEJv9-VnNselJFMOUz6Z_Sd-pB3UKRcZyFMIRtIgMbIMsjrciicOIyxdp7h_N8thpxCCw/s400/Gas-Grass-Or-Ass.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Now, in some benighted universe, if I should happen to be a passenger in a car with this sticker, I would display a sign:</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3; caret-color: rgb(7, 55, 99);"><b><span style="color: #073763;"> </span><span style="color: white;">I bought gas! </span></b></span></span><br />
<br />eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-38226419501052322742020-01-01T20:10:00.002-05:002020-01-01T20:13:10.618-05:00Some Jokes<div class="_1qeIAgB0cPwnLhDF9XSiJM" style="border: 0px; caret-color: rgb(26, 26, 27); font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0px 0px 0.25em; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 130 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 110 and she won a prize.</span></b></div>
<div class="_1qeIAgB0cPwnLhDF9XSiJM" style="border: 0px; caret-color: rgb(26, 26, 27); font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0.8em 0px 0.25em; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.</span></b></div>
<div class="_1qeIAgB0cPwnLhDF9XSiJM" style="border: 0px; caret-color: rgb(26, 26, 27); font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0.8em 0px 0.25em; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.</span></b></div>
<div class="_1qeIAgB0cPwnLhDF9XSiJM" style="border: 0px; caret-color: rgb(26, 26, 27); font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0.8em 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" </span></b></div>
<div class="_1qeIAgB0cPwnLhDF9XSiJM" style="border: 0px; caret-color: rgb(26, 26, 27); font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0.8em 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Kim responded, "Oh, Wauwa, it was wousy."</span></b></div>
<div class="_1qeIAgB0cPwnLhDF9XSiJM" style="border: 0px; caret-color: rgb(26, 26, 27); font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0.8em 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">A salesman went out of town for business. After a couple of weeks he came home and told his wife about it. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Guess what dear, I earned 4000 dollars by selling 50 mattresses and 30 pairs of panties." </span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The wife replied, "Really, well with just one mattress and no panties I earned twice as much." </span></b><br />
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
<br />
<h3 class="joke-title" style="margin-top: 0px;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Boudreaux was called up to the Louisiana National Guard. Because he was a smooth talker the CO put him in charge of explaining benefits to new recruits.</span></h3>
<div class="joke-body">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>After a week the CO noticed Boudreaux had a 100% sign up rate for supplemental insurance. Impressed, the CO sits in on one of Boudreaux’s sessions.<br /><br />“If you boys goes to Afghanistan and you gets yoself kilt, the gubmint pays you benefishary $50,000. But if you gets the supplemental insurance, </b></span><span class="read-more-text"><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>which only cost tirty dollas a month, the gubmint pays you benefishary $400,000.”</b></span></span></div>
<div class="joke-body">
<span class="read-more-text"><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div class="joke-body">
<span class="read-more-text"><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>"Now, which ones of you do you think are gonna be sent first?"</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">—<span class="UFICommentBody" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">A priest, a minister and a rabbi are discussing when life begins. The priests says, “It begins at conception.</span></span></h3>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: inherit;">The rabbi says, “You are both wrong, Life begins when the kids move out of the house and the dog dies.”</span></h3>
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eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-37170958491276657642019-12-27T09:27:00.000-05:002019-12-27T09:27:09.174-05:00The Problem of Sports Mascots and Logos<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Since America pretty well has all its national and regional problems licked, there's been a lot of commentary about the appropriateness of certain sports teams logos or mascots. The latest one to be changed is by the Cleveland Indians baseball team, which retired Chief Wahoo after more than 60 years.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Now I'm confused and conflicted about this in several ways. In what way does The Mistake by the Lake have with Indians? So Indians may have lived there at one time; but they were apparently mild-mannered and polite.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>No, I'm not sorry to see Chief Wahoo go. He was a particularly ugly and uncute mascot. But there are other of these. For some reason, apparently the University of Notre Dame styles itself the Fightin' Irish; and has adopted am even more singularly ugly mascot of a belligerent leprehcaun with bad hair:</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Now this pugnaciousness may go along with the self-image of Irish-Americans, who also apparently don't mind this Catholic university adopting their ethnic group to name their teams. And we have the example of the University of Louisiana at Lafayette's teams being known as the Ragin' Cajuns. (No cute or ugly mascot as yet.) And apparently Cajuns are okay with UL - L's nickname. At least no hind quarters of raccoons are involved Florida State's Seminoles also get a pass; but the institution represents Seminoles respectfully and the Seminole tribe apparently likes it.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>New Orleans's pro football team is known as the Saints. Is there irony underfoot there? I suspect so. And their basketball team goes by the Pelicans. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-19390773589946393992019-12-16T10:21:00.000-05:002019-12-16T14:53:21.735-05:00Candywuss Chili<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Pardon me, gentle readers (is anyone still there, </b><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>considering my spotty record of blogging), while I lapse into real controversy. No, not the political carnage that sadly </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>happens daily, not sex, but a remark about food.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Now I previously evinced*</b></span><b style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> some displeasure with the notion of culinary cultural appropriation (hell, if you're Irish and you want to do <i>lutefisk</i>, go for it, baby! I will not </b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>judge you. But the notion of Cincinnati chili totally astonished me! And saddened me. What is that, you might say?</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Well, it's a weak, hyped-up sauce with tomato paste, cumin, nutmeg, allspice, a little chili powder, chocolate, possibly Worchestershire, and served over spaghetti and topped with cheese! Holy horse turds! And often oyster crackers are added. So sad! I encountered this is a regional restaurant which </b></span></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>shall be unnamed.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Actually, I have the biggest problem with the nomenclature: call it Cincinnati meat sauce, if you desire such a culinary delight (?); but a righteous chili must be a savory beef and chili sauce, served with red beans or not. If you're adventurous, chop some chilis.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>To my opinion, the real questions should be <i>red or green, </i>referring to the type of chili added. And Fritos or Doritos, as a side.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);">*</span></span>https://evil-pop-tart.blogspot.com/2017/08/cultural-appropriation-in-food-choice.html</span></b>eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-564287351579770382019-12-10T19:30:00.000-05:002019-12-10T19:30:59.274-05:00The Ethnics of New Orleans; and an Old Creole Ethnic Taunt<div style="text-align: center;">
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">After the Louisiana Purchase in 1803, this little insulting verse was commonly used by the Creole children.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">'Mericain coquin,</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">'Bille en nanquin;</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Voleur du pain,</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Chez miché D'Aquin.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Translated, roughly, it becomes:</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">American crook,</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Dressed in nankeen;</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Stealer of bread,</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">From the place of Monsieur D'Aquin.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There were frictions between the French-speaking locals and the newly-immigrating Americans after the Louisiana Purchase. Some of the problems came because most often the Americans who arrived in New Orleans were the flatboat- or keelboatmen; who felt a desire to cut loose after poling down the Mississippi for several weeks. Therefore, there was the sense of "there goes the neighborhood."</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms";">Like little bits of folklore, it persisted well into later times in certain areas. Even when most Orleanian kids spoke only English.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms";">New Orleans was always a melting pot: the original settlers were French; some brought slaves. Some intermarried with Native Americans. The original Creole (white or mixed race) population was joined by the Cajuns, the Spanish, the </span></strong><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isle%C3%B1o_American"><strong><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Canary</span></strong></a><strong><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #20124d;">Islanders,</span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms";">the refugees from Santo Domingo, the Napoleonic refugees from the restoration, and lately, the Americans. Still later, the Irish and the Germans.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms";">Because of slavery, the African-American population was extensive from the start. It expanded with the Haitian Revolution, in which sizeable numbers of African-American and mixed ancestry people moved into New Orleans, These latter immigrants became an extensive talented artisan class; for example, accounting for the elaborate ornate grill work in the French Quarter. They were referred to as Free Persons of Color. They also had a few that practiced voodoo. But, most importantly, they developed jazz into an art form.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms";">By the 1880's, the Italians had arrived; and the Dalmatians had moved into the shrimp and oyster business in Plaquemines Parish. Still later came the Cubans and the Filipinos.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms";">New Orleans is a tapestry of racial and ethnic groups. And interesting restaurant choices when you move away from the old, traditional, (expensive) ones.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: "trebuchet ms";">There's several really good neighborhood restaurants. You don't have to go to the costly ones! And, there's always the Cafe du Monde for beignets and coffee. And a stroll in Jackson Square or on the Moonwalk afterward.</span></strong><br />
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<br />eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-42256347347269814952019-12-04T11:04:00.000-05:002019-12-04T11:04:30.555-05:00The Inappropriate Gift<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>While the relationship between Officer Pete and Madeline the Prophetess was just moving past the early stages, it was evident that both were quite taken with each other. Talk about an unlikely combination!</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>This was noted by both the New Orleans Eccentric Union and the NOPD; and they wondered where this was going. And, to be frank, Madeline was not holding up her end in eccentricity so expected in New Orleans. OMG! Was she turning out to be the usual Lakeview* or Irish Channel* charmer?</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Well, Pete wanted to gift Madeline a little token of his interest, so he asked Sgt. Angelo for some advice. The good Sergeant, in a spell of whimsy, said, "Why don't you give her a red bra"?</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Now, </b><b>in many circles, this might be seen as an inappropriate gift; something to cause someone to be offended. But Pete was, despite his occupation, somewhat </b><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>innocent of some ways of the world. (And unlikely to advance in the NOPD scheme of things.) He found the right one at a dance clothing supply store, of all places!</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Anyway, the occasion came, and the grand moment occurred. Madeline was totally surprised. Awed!</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>And smiled! Broadly. He got her size right. Some good detective work there.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>She promptly partially undressed, removed her plain bra, and replaced it with the new bra which was lacy and a bit sparkly! She was clearly pleased at his thoughtfulness and wore it for the rest of the evening even though her sweater was a trifle thin and she revealed herself somewhat.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Sometimes a girl just needs encouragement!</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>*Neighborhoods in New Orleans</b></span></span>eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-32354410451015158712019-10-20T19:13:00.000-04:002019-10-20T19:13:07.153-04:00Keep It Classy, Dude!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>I actually saw someone wearing this shirt at a Yankees game!</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Bad Kitty!</b></span></span></div>
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<br />eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-32207737426122624692019-10-16T09:20:00.000-04:002019-10-16T09:20:32.961-04:00A Reflection on Burreygard's Horse's Ass<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>The rules of social discourse have become exceedingly complex; and this is accompanied by a hair-trigger mentality regarding taking offense. This results in the unaware stumbling into a loaded situation and causing problems.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Let's face it: Keeping up with being <i>woke</i> is hard work; and these is no handy-dandy clearinghouse enabling a person to learn to be cool or even inoffensive. Case in point: the "okay" sign.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167);"><b>How in hell did this wind up being a fascist or racist symbol? Did those clowns manage to get a patent on it because none had thought of doing so before?</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167);"><b>Anyway, it would really be cool to have some web site to give us not terribly informed people pointers on what things we say or do might have antisocial meanings. It should be basic. There are people, like me, who are just plumb </b></span></span><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167);"><b><i>unwoke.</i></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167);"><b>And also how about some tips on what is <i>déclassé</i> nowadays? a few years ago there was the movement to take down Confederate monuments in New Orleans. I opined that we should keep General Burreygard (how us Yats refer to General Beauregard) because he was a local figure. Anyway, I got a shit storm of negativity for that. So much for free thought. Yes, Ma'am, it was so. </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167);"><b style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;">Actually, I felt a little nostalgic about the statchoo</b></span></span><b style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;">: I remember Teen Angel receiving some heavy antipodal exploration while parked in a car in City Park with an up-close and personal view of Genl. B's horse's posterior!* So, in the desire for social harmony; why not a compromise? How about putting Genl. B. in the garage or some museum; but leaving his horse's statue in place? He's the cool one in the scene.</b><br />
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<b style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;">The same can be said for Andy Jackson's mount in the <i>Place d'Armes</i> (what some </b><b><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167);"><i>unwoke</i></span> Orleanians call Jackson Square)</span><i style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;">.</i><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> Oh well; it looks good against the background of St. Louis Basilica.</span></b><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167);"><b>Right now there's a surfeit of horse's asses in Washington. But that's to be expected, with all at politics going on. It's the local vice there. But those Washingtonians did get one thing very right: they came on like champions supporting the Washington Nationals during the MLB playoffs! OMG! That sea of red towels waving looked like the Alabama stadium during a football game! Lookin' good, Washingtonians!</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167);">*</span></span>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Beauregard_Equestrian_Statue</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-53412885069898734722019-08-30T12:09:00.000-04:002019-08-30T12:09:36.197-04:00Arrrgh! A Rant!<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>I guess with time I've developed low frustration tolerance.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Besides the 24/7 political coverage and </b><b>bickering we're regaled with and patronized over, and the increasingly unpredictable weather (winter storms now given cutesy names), there's something that really chafes me big time.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>I hope you agree; but I'm going to vent anyway.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>The Captcha feature on Blogger, where you have to prove you're not a robot. It sucks! Like I have to click on pictures containing a bus or a crosswalk. Some are dim; some use </b><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>questionable possibilities (is this a bus or a van), and they go on forever. As a matter of fact, I sometimes when trying to respond to a post (in a reinforcing way), I get so frustrated! </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>I do not like to play guessing games with Captcha! No, Sam I Am!</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>As long as I'm airing <i>bête noires</i>, here's one from an old Clint Eastwood movie:</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>I double the sentiments for mayonnaise. Why does that goop have to be the default condiment for take-out sandwiches?</b></span></span><span style="color: #351c75;">
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>In a more serious vein, there's the increasingly used practice of some states issuing travel bans for their state employees to penalize other states that pass legislation that some out-of-state legislator disapproves of; or gets on a moral high horse about.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Specifically, Alabama and Georgia recently enacted laws that made increased restrictions on abortions. In response, some other states issued travel bans to the Yellowhammer State and the Peach State. Well, whoopee do! If you don't want more </b><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>restrictions on abortion, then don't pass 'em in your own state. That's an easy solution.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Just don't fooyay into other states' business.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>I wonder, though. Just how much is a measure like that going to really impact interstate travel?</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>[OMFG! Now some out-of-state state employees cannot travel to Gulf Shores to visit the Flora-Game lounge. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Unless they fly into Pensacola.]</b></span>eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-5482934050051426402019-04-10T11:00:00.000-04:002019-04-10T11:00:08.965-04:00The Unusual Christening Gown<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>It's Sunday, and like in other Catholic churches over the world, it's time for the Christening of infants into the mother church. This is both a solemn and festive occasion. Infants of a few weeks are brought to the Baptistry to be sprinkled with holy water and be received into the Church! And the new members of the Holy Church are decked out in their splendid baptismal gowns: traditionally white; however, some highlights of color have recently begun to appear.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Father Devereaux, Pastor of St. Cletus's Parish, lately noticed white Christening gowns with trim in purple and gold or black and gold -- but mostly in the Fall. He thought "Tigers fan or Saints fan"; but it was okay since word did not reach the Archbishop of these departures from custom. He was willing to let it slide. And, besides, there is no canonical prescription as to what Christening gowns should be like.* </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>After all, Fr. D. was quite willing to shift the time for the last mass to be at 11:45; all with the view of allowing late attendees to still get out in time for the Saints kickoff!</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Well, one Sunday Father Devereaux </b></span></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>got a bodacious surprise. One of the infant girls was decked out in a baptismal gown of green, silver, and black! Now this caused him consternation? Was this an underhanded way of getting Satanic practices to contaminate a most sacred ritual, or are they practitioners of Voodoo? No way to know; so he went ahead with the ritual, halfway expecting comeback from </b></span></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>the Archdiocese. The fact that the proud Grandpa referred to her as "my little Iggle" unsettled him further. Was This some Satanic code word?</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>He asked Mycroft, aka The Lucky Dog Guy, what was it all about; but this encyclopedia of folklore was not able to answer. Likewise Madeline the Prophetess and Suzette the Existential Stripper all drew blanks.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>So next day he asked his Baptist compadre, Brother Bob, what it's all about. Since this </b></span></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>was a Potentially Serious Matter, they decamped to Uptown, far away from their congregations' locales and a place where they could get a bracing drink or two without censure from their congregationalists!</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Bob, at first, was puzzled. Particularly over the meaning of the colors. But then it all became clear when the Good Padre Tim asked if the child being referred to as 'our little Iggle' meant something devilish. Bob shook his head, and said, "You got a problem, Tim, but it's not a devil problem." And he told them what the problem was, and what team had those colors.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>Tim said, "Oh well, it could be worse. They could have dressed her in Dallas Cowboys colors! That would have caused a scandal!"</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>*Supposedly, Baptism was performed in the early church on candidates who were stark naked as jaybirds; this may have had the effect of increasing attendance for this ceremony. Even today, some more exotic sects are said to do this as well.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>[As an aside: why are jaybirds singled out as </b></span></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b>examples of nudity; only penguins dress up?</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 28, 117);"><b><br /></b></span></span>eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-52726668979052019-04-01T11:24:00.002-04:002019-04-02T10:45:46.616-04:00Oldie Songs for Making Out<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>The 1960's -- a distant era -- was a fertile period for songwriting. There was a plethora of genres that emerged during that time; folk rock, soft rock, and some songs with vile lyrics referred to as 'bubblegum music.' No,<i> </i>my friends, no link here. You're going to have to go that lonesome road by yourself.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>By the mid-1960's, music lyrics became more lurid (or suggestive, to use the time-honored euphemism.) Anyway, here are two by Lou Christie (b. 1943) that further that theme.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>1. Oh my ever-lasting Gawd!* Here's <i>Lightning Strikes, </i>which implies that males willingly give into temptation when it come to lips begging to be kissed:</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Okay, the message is clear: Don't sweat your b.f. being untrue if temptation crosses his path or if he seeks other opportunities. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>2. Riding on the crest of <i>Lightning Strikes, </i>Lou Christie launched <i>Phapsody in the Rain. </i>Here he is performing it at a later date:</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Originally, the lyrics included:</b></span><br />
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<dl style="margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-top: 0.2em;"><dd style="margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px;"><i><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Baby, the raindrops play for me</span></i></dd><dd style="margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px;"><i><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Our lovely rhapsody, 'cause on our first date</span></i></dd><dd style="margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px;"><i><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We were makin' out in the rain.</span></i></dd><dd style="margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px;"><i><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">And in this car, our love went much too far</span></i></dd><dd style="margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px;"><i><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It was exciting as thunder</span></i></dd><dd style="margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px;"><i><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Tonight I wonder, where you are?</span></i></dd></dl>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>MGM insisted on a re-recorded version that toned down the lyrical content. Corporate prudes! The third and fourth lines were changed to:</b></span></div>
<dl style="margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-top: 0.2em;"><dd style="margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px;"><i><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We fell in love in the rain</span></i></dd><dd style="margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px;"><div style="font-size: 14px;">
<i><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">And in this car, love came like a falling star</span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>I think you might get the idea. Anyway, I thought you would enjoy this excursion into old-time make-out music.**</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>*I figure this one is worth three Hail Marys. And I don't mean a distant shot from behind the half court line.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>**I turned in my V-card at 18; and am a mom now.</b></span><br />
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eViL pOp TaRthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15039755407564122331noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1244308614877476148.post-29794972413690182582018-11-01T07:21:00.000-04:002018-11-01T07:21:06.419-04:00Detention in Heaven <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<strong><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">November 1st is, among Louisianans, All Saints' Day: the day in which they honor less-important saints not prominent enough to merit their own feast days or having any Heavenly Pull. It's a high Holy Day; and it's also the day to spruce up the graves of loved ones in preparation for All Souls' Day (November 2). Lousianans are given to piety sometimes; but we don't overdo it.<br />
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But in Heaven November 1st it takes on a different twist: this is the day in which all of the guardian angels that fell asleep on the job the day before spend the day in Angel Detention because of their failures in proper supervision of their mortals. Yes, Heaven is a place of bliss; but sometimes the bliss is a little thin, if you know what I mean. Anyway, let us look into that dismal scene:<br />
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Here is Angel Second Class Melanie, who helped the human she supposedly watched over as she toilet papered the whole neighborhood. Lazy Melanie! She helped paper the Jones's house, herself.<br />
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And Angel Third Class Marie, dressed provocatively as a pirate. Her human scandalized everyone her costume the previous night. And Marie's timbers got shivered also.<br />
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Angel Third Class Tom managed to get drunk with his human, and was still sleeping it off. This is the best way to cope with a celestial detention. <br />
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Angel First Class Matt's human was a preacher who dared to have a Halloween party at the church rec room, as opposed to a Fall Festival as the Godly would prefer they be called nowadays. Matt's human was almost stricken from fellowship, but he had taken several of the deacons to lunch at Hooters' last month and they did not wish to curtail those pleasures.<br />
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Archangel William was sent to detention for keeping bad companionship. It's a crying shame when your human is a member of the U.S. Senate. He was said to mutter, "I worked so hard to become an archangel and this is the assignment I get?"<br />
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Poor Apprentice Angel Steve: he participated in igniting fires in several garbage cans.<br />
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Angel Second Class Jennifer and her human put laundry detergent in the fountain and it foamed for days.<br />
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Archangel Mickey got clemency because he was unfortunate enough to draw an aspirant Presidential candidate as his human. Archangel Gabriel's view was, "This poor snook has suffered enough by listening to all the speeches."<br />
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Angel Third Class Cecilia ran an old blouse up a flagpole. Her human behaved even more poorly.<br />
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Righteous Archangel Clara came to detention wearing Mardi Gras beads; she was sent there for "causing a scandal."<br />
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Hollywood Angel Second Class Lindsay made the clubs for a solid week without requiring a washing of her lingerie hamper.<br />
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But by far, the harshest detention punishment was meted out to Angel First Class Scott, whose human slipped the Straight and Narrow, and passed out religious tracts decrying Halloween instead of the candy and other treats given by the righteous. While in this angelic detention, he was treated as a pariah!</span></strong><br />
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