Thursday, November 1, 2018

Detention in Heaven

November 1st is, among Louisianans, All Saints' Day: the day in which they honor less-important saints not prominent enough to merit their own feast days or having any Heavenly Pull. It's a high Holy Day; and it's also the day to spruce up the graves of loved ones in preparation for All Souls' Day (November 2). Lousianans are given to piety sometimes; but we don't overdo it.

But in Heaven November 1st it takes on a different twist: this is the day in which all of the guardian angels that fell asleep on the job the day before spend the day in Angel Detention because of their failures in proper supervision of their mortals. Yes, Heaven is a place of bliss; but sometimes the bliss is a little thin, if you know what I mean. Anyway, let us look into that dismal scene:

Here is Angel Second Class Melanie, who helped the human she supposedly watched over as she  toilet papered the whole neighborhood. Lazy Melanie! She helped paper the Jones's house, herself.

And Angel Third Class Marie, dressed provocatively as a pirate. Her human scandalized everyone her costume the previous night. And Marie's timbers got shivered also.

Angel Third Class Tom managed to get drunk with his human, and was still sleeping it off. This is the best way to cope with a celestial detention.

Angel First Class Matt's human was a preacher who dared to have a Halloween party at the church rec room, as opposed to a Fall Festival as the Godly would prefer they be called nowadays. Matt's human was almost stricken from fellowship, but he had taken several of the deacons to lunch at Hooters' last month and they did not wish to curtail those pleasures.

Archangel William was sent to detention for keeping bad companionship. It's a crying shame when your human is a member of the U.S. Senate. He was said to mutter, "I worked so hard to become an archangel and this is the assignment I get?"

Poor Apprentice Angel Steve: he participated in igniting fires in several garbage cans.

Angel Second Class Jennifer and her human put laundry detergent in the fountain and it foamed for days.

Archangel Mickey got clemency because he was unfortunate enough to draw an aspirant Presidential candidate as his human. Archangel Gabriel's view was, "This poor snook has suffered enough by listening to all the speeches."

Angel Third Class Cecilia ran an old blouse up a flagpole. Her human behaved even more poorly.

Righteous Archangel Clara came to detention wearing Mardi Gras beads; she was sent there for "causing a scandal."

Hollywood Angel Second Class Lindsay made the clubs for a solid week without requiring a washing of her lingerie hamper.

But by far, the harshest detention punishment was meted out to Angel First Class Scott, whose human slipped the Straight and Narrow, and passed out religious tracts decrying Halloween instead of the candy and other treats given by the righteous. While in this angelic detention, he was treated as a pariah!

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

The War on Halloween?

Well, nuts!

The Grinches are at it again. 

Their latest foray comes from Chesapeake, VA which passed a law restricting trick-or-treating to those 12 or younger. Will this mean that a 14- or 16- or 18-year old could be cited for trick-or-treating?

What is frigging WRONG with people? Let's face it: the news sucks. Politics sucks. Religion has let us down. Even sports has gotten too serious. (Still, I liked the Series.)

What harm is it for teens to want to have trick-or-treating fun?  Let's hope Chesapeake is not a harbinger of a trend. 

Maybe FOX News can do a series on War on Halloween. No, wait -- we already have idiots passing out tracts instead of candy. And schools having Fall Festivals instead of Halloween Parties.

Truth: I trick-or-treated until I was 18 or 19. Yes, and with my friends. And my Mama was fine with my costumes. (Yes, I did Lum twice -- in tiger skin bikini. Temps were in low- 70s at night)

Oh, New Orleans is a party town and people go all out for Halloween. Like a mini-Mardi Gras in late October. New Year's Eve also rocks in the Quarter.

Good witches protect trick-or-treaters from goblins.

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Louis Wain's Cats

Artist Louis Wain (1860-1937) specialized in cat pictures as a genre; some of his illustrations featured cute cats doing typically human things; others verged on the abstract or even bizarre.

He suffered from schizophrenic disorder later in life; and was institutionalized. Also, he had lost his well-loved wife at an early age. In general, he had a sad life.

This one is cuddly cute:

This one is highly abstract; and verges on the bizarre.

I like his use of the patterned background; like it incorporates an Asian influence in his art:

This kitty can be seen either as whimsical or puzzled:

And what is more normal than a group of cats napping together:

There is a bit of question about Louis Wain's work.  Walter Maclay, a psychiatrist, wrote that his depiction of cats from the typically cute ones to the abstract mirrored is descent into schizophrenia. However, there is little evidence to document this consistent progression from the realistic to the bizarre followed any consistency. Louis Wain did not date his illustrations.  Alternatively, Louis Wain might have simply been experimenting with new approaches on the feline theme. After all, his abstract, geometric works have a consistency to them. Also, he was drawing at a time when boundaries in painting shifted from the concrete to the surrealistic or even bizarre.

Saturday, October 13, 2018

The Action News Team Celebrates No Bra Day

Recently Hello Giggles listed seven commandments of not wearing a bra in public.  These include such common sense suggestions as not wearing itchy material, avoiding animals with claws, being careful of how shoulder bags hang across your chest, not being envious of someone else's apparently better endowment, and so forth.

Missy Chauvin thought that she would adopt this daring look for National No Bra Day (Oct. 13th). Besides, she had an eye on television ratings and, while Action News was tops in the New Orleans Metro Area, they had to keep up with the competition continually.

However, she did not share this crafty plan with the news anchor Al Gautreaux or weather person Sharon Rideaux or with the Program Director Vickie Connelly. You can call this the Semi-big October Surprise.

Anyway, she wore her jacket on set and took it off as she seated herself at the news desk. This was despite the fact that the set is normally cool!

And, as the cameraman panned across the set, there was TAA-TAA! Something not ever seen before on Action News. Actually, FOUR things.

It seemed that Sharon, the weather reporter, also decided to celebrate National No Bra Day!

Missy was irritated that Sharon stole some of her thunder. And it showed.

Al, as news anchor, got into the spirit of things, and ad libbed a few double entendres:

"Missy, what bumps stand in the way of the Saints' progress? "

"Sharon, is the weather likely to be a little nippy tomorrow morning?" [Said in New Orleans in October; very unlikely!]

"At 11:30 tonight, we'll carry another episode of Twin Peaks. In the meantime, here's an interview we can get a rise from."

But, at least, Missy consoled herself, hers were not cattywampus like Sharon's!

(After all, who wants to prove she's not wearing a bra by holding up a dull white one?)

Monday, October 8, 2018

A New Book Cover for a Classic

What if the editor at a book publisher took things too literally?

Friday, September 28, 2018

Kentucky Medical Terms

 They have their own medical vocabulary in the Bluegrass State. Bless their hearts.  

 Benign................What you be after you be eight.
 Artery................The study of paintings.
 Bacteria..............Back door to cafeteria.
 Barium................What family do when kinfolk die.
 Cesarean Section......A neighborhood in Rome.
 Cat Scan...............Searching for kitty.
 Cauterize.............Made eye contact with her.
 Coma..................A punctuation mark.
 D and C...............Where Washington is.
 Dilate................To live long.
 Enema.................Not a friend.
 Fibula................A small lie.
 Genital...............Non-Jewish person.
 Hangnail..............What you hang your coat on.
 Impotent..............Distinguished, well known.
 Labor Pain............Getting hurt at work.
 Morbid................A higher offer than I bid.
 Nitrates..............Cheaper than day rates.
 Pap Smear.............A fatherhood test.
 Rectum................Darn near killed him.
 Secretion.............Hiding something.
 Seizure...............Roman emperor.
 Tablet................A small table.
 Terminal Illness......Getting sick at the airport.
 Tumor.................More than one more.
 Urine.................Opposite of you're out.
 Varicose..............Near by or close by.

Monday, September 24, 2018

A Cajun Blonde Joke

Two brunettes (Clotilde and Marie) and a blonde (Suzette) went to a bar to get themselves a drink.

Clotilde went up to the bar and asked the bartender, " Fix me an R.W." He asks, "What's an R.W.?"

Clotilde said, "Mais chere, dats red wine."

So Marie decided to got herself a drink and asked the bartender, "Fix me a W.W."

The bartender answers, "White Wine?"

She said, "Mais yeah, dats right."

Suzette (the blonde) asked the bartender for a 15.

He replied, "What's a 15?"

She said, "Mais chere, don't be silly. Dat's 7 and 7 of course."

Monday, September 17, 2018

Boudreaux Gets Called for Jury Duty

Boudreaux had received a summons to appear for jury duty.

The judge was doing his preliminary interview of the prospective jurors, and asked them, "Is there any reason any of you could not serve as a juror in this case?"

Boudreaux raised his hand and when the judge acknowledged him said, " Mais, I can't serve, Judge. I don't want to be away from my job dat long."

The judge asked him, "Can't they do without you at work?"

Boudreaux answered, "Yeh, Judge, dey can do without me, but I jus' don't wants dem to know it."

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Grand Teche Stages a Charivari

Well, it was totally unexpected: Pierre Meaux and Shirley Baudoin, on a whim, ran off to Mississippi to get married. And by a Justice of the Peace, no less.

The word got out that they were coming back to Grand Teche after this big surprise; and the locals decided that they needed to mark this event with an old-fashioned custom: a charivari. Well, people elsewhere spell it a shivaree; and its pronounced the same and goes pretty well like it.

So the locals got out their bugles, fireworks, washpans, and whistles to serenade the blissful couple until they invited all in to toast the happy bride and groom.

Well, it was about bedtime; and the lights of chez Meaux were gettin' put out and time to get cozy when the noise began. Boom! Bang! Bang! Rattle! Such a din!

Now poor Pierre, he got totally confused. What in hell was going on?

But Shirley got the idea -- the neighbors were treating them to an old-fashioned charivari. No, it wasn't because they were angry; or because the Meauxes violated some regional custom as some sources have it.  It was simply that they were in the hot, steamy dog days of summer and people get bored, you know. . . . And in Grand Teche sometimes people need to make their fun.

Well . . . . fortunately, the local 7-11 store recently launched a special delivery service; and Shirley decided that a few cases of beer, and associated snack foods would do the trick. Neighbors just want to celebrate a wedding in style.

That was a great save! And all due to Tee Thibodaux while manning the cash register made a special hauling of stuff for the impromptu party!

Yee Haw!

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

A Different Kind of Laboratory?

Laboratories, love them or not. Some, like Physics, are usually tedious; but some, like Biology or Chemistry, can be a real hoot.

Do we have an accompaniment to Vo Ed here; or is this a lesson to support the True Love Waits philosophy?

This is, to say the least, an eye-catching headline. 

Does the staid old Department of Education seems to have a new look with the current administration?

Friday, August 31, 2018

The Prettiest Town in Louisiana

MSN recently had an article listing the prettiest towns in each state.

Breaux Bridge was listed as Louisiana's Prettiest Town. (Pronounced "Bro Bridge.")

In an earlier post I described Breaux Bridge's quirky phone book that listed subscribers by nickname; probably a unique practice as phone books go; but very useful in a place where plumb everyone knows your nickname.

If you like, you can find the place that they consider the prettiest one for your state and others. This sight has them listed by state; so you can go forward or back in the alphabetical order. (Click left for Alabama through Kentucky; right for Maine through Wyoming.)

However, there is a reason to question the criteria that MSN used to select these 50 allegedly prettiest towns for each state. For example, the article lists Gatlinburg as Tennessee's prettiest town. Frankly, it's a tourist trap. Admittedly, not as tacky as Pigeon Forge; but it's tacky enough. Being surrounded by verdant mountains does help; but still, it's like putting lipstick on a pig.

How did it do with your state? Was MSN on target or totally clueless?

Thursday, August 23, 2018

Redshirting Children for School

When it comes to gaming things for their children, some parents come up with unique strategies.

For a long time, some parents would try to start their child's educational career by starting them in school early, so that they would complete their elementary and secondary education early; and start college at 16 or 17 rather than 18.

But lately, some parents have latched onto the strategy of redshirting their children: starting them in kindergarten or first grade a year later than anticipated. This has them in preschool (if available) at an older age than most.

These little moppets thus are likely to have a competitive edge as compared to their slightly younger classmates, both in terms of size and maturity. It's a calculated strategy in terms of both their physical and maturational abilities being somewhat advanced when they are a year older.

However, here's a possible fly in this ointment: the financial ability of parents to afford doing this may further the gap between parents who can afford to do this, and others. Preschools often cost extra.

There is a further possibility that this type of approach might boomerang if there is a critical optimal period for some learning experiences to take place; however, a year's difference is not likely to matter.

Anyway, it is amazing to what lengths some parents may go to in gaming the system. This is a whole new area for educational outcome research.

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

A French Revolution Groaner

During the French Revolution, the common people were intent on ridding themselves of all vestiges of the royalty and nobility. 

The Reign of Terror ensued and all of the nobles were hunted down. Some were allowed to leave the country; however, most were executed at the guillotine. One nobleman in particular had sent his family into hiding in hopes of saving them. Soon he was caught. 

The crowd searched in vain for his family, but they were well hidden. Threats were made but he always replied, "I'll never tell!"

Finally the crowd dragged him to the guillotine and offered to let him and his family leave the country if he would only disclose their location. Again he replied, "I'll never tell!"

They dragged him up onto the platform next to the horrible machine and asked him again. Still he replied, "I'll never tell!"

They laid his neck across the cutting board and asked him once more. Again, he replied, "I'll never tell!"

They slowly hoisted the blade and again asked for the location of his family. Weakly he replied " I'll never tell!"

They waited to see if his resolve would fail, he remained silent. Just as the executioner pulled the release and the blade began to fall the Count called out "Wait, I'll tell, I'll t....."

The moral to this story, don't hatchet your Count before he chickens!

Friday, August 17, 2018

Playing Pool for Keeps

Grand Tina, while doin' physics and geometry at Bayou Teche High School, got herself a brainstorm.

It seems that the local rec center got some pool tables, despite some naysayers declaring that pool with the first step on the road to perdition. Anyway, folks figured that they might pussyfoot a mite further, as that game was fun and lotsa other stuff they could think of was too. And in the manner of Cajuns, it soon turned into a bettin' occasion.

Now the big insight that Tina had was that if a pool shot would hit the side of the table, it would reflect at the same angle on the opposite side. This was big; because she and Tee Boudreaux would use things like that to win bets off Texans and oil men and other strays comin' into the area and placing bets.

To help things along, she and Tee would act like dumb Cajuns, saying "Woo-eee!" and "Mon Dieu!" and muff a shot sometimes to make themselves look like plain amateurs or even dumb dorks. Now the local pool hall loungers soon got mindful of their antics, and would play them only for practice. 

Tina would use distractors: she would giggle, make antics and let Tee Boo try to show her how to pool; but the two were in cahoots and part of the sting. And Tina would wear her low-cut blouse and minimal demi-bra to provide a further distractor. 

It seems that the players were more interested in Tina's superstructure than how she was lining up shots. Especially when she shifted from a total goose mode to bein' a pool shark! And took those Texans big time!

The moral is, don't give into first impressions. Especially when playing pool.

Friday, August 10, 2018

A Problem With Golden Oldie Music

It seems like an unbeatable idea: have a radio station that specializes in classical popular music, often referred to as 'Golden Oldie' or 'Classical Rock' music.  Now, a casual reader of this concept might figure that anything in the pop/rock era that isn't on the current playlist might qualify.

However, in practice radio stations do this in a more time-restricted fashion. One station (WMTY) cites its range from 'the British Invasion to the Hippie Generation;' that is, from about 1960 to 1974, I guess. Others lean more to 1950s music. But even within those time frames there is some choosiness. I would guess that few older listeners would stand to listen to 'Yummy Yummy Yummy'! I swear; the lyrics were 'Yummy yummy yummy, I've got love in my tummy.' They call the subgenre bubblegum music. It's like swimming in molasses.

More recent music tends not to make the playlists. No 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' or "Baby One More Time.' Kid Rock and Christina Aguilera are not heard from. As a matter of fact: there's no stations that specialize in oldie music from 1995 to 2010, to my knowledge.

The golden oldie concept creeps also into restaurant background music. For dining establishments that don't use classical selections, it usually transpires that show tunes or adult-oriented songs constitute the noise-masking sounds. But, seriously, how often can we stomach "My Way"?*

I think that legislatures should require that each play of "My Way" should be followed afterwards by "The Thong Song."

I know you can take this as a squawk from another millennial with a sense of entitlement. However, we have our own Golden Oldies. For  God's sake, play some 1990's and 2000's pop also!

On the other hand, some Golden Oldie music is remarkable because of its badness. Years ago, Dave Barry wrote a Book of Bad Songs. Among those receiving dubious kudos were these gems: 

*If you're near a karaoke player, you're sure to hear someone stumble through this one. Some legislatures mandated that each karaoke session include this song, as if the original was not sufficient in its vileness!

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

The School Board Had a Thorny Problem

Sad to say, the Balsam Hill School Board had to take up a serious issue -- more serious than the after-school pickup parking or even fees for the lunch rooms. It seems that a solid citizen found something to complain about one of the teachers. Horrors!

Specifically, it was about Tammy, otherwise known as the Red-Headed School Teacher. 

Now Miz Grady noticed that she was shacked up with that feckless duo, Bubba and Billy Bob. And this interested her enough to get a good head of steam about the scandal of it all. And, moreover, she wore scandalous shorts or nightgowns on the porch: sometimes see-through and leaving little to the imagination. Miz Grady's brain conceived of threesomes goin' on, and other affronts to proper Balsam Hill morals! Truth to tell, she thought that Balsam Hill's moral climate had taken a turn for the worse lately and she was singlehanded going to set things right and proper. Yessir!

So Miz Grady, the community scold and in charge of everything proper, came before the School Board about a morals complaint regarding one of the teachers. The School Board, in its tried and true Southern fashion, ordinarily ignored such things: figuring that if things are running okay, then don't try messing with it.

Still, Miz Grady put things out in the open, on record. Gol-darn it! And that annoying local journalist Arthur Christy was in attendance, so they couldn't just ignore her complaint. So Chairman Jones declared that everything would just have to be discussed in executive session: School Board members only. This got rid of the newspaper reporter.

Mr. Parker was one of the deacons who took part in the infamous Party Bus ride with the strip show and lap dance that Tammy did while they took that bus ride over the Tail of the Dragon (US 129 south of the Park). He was not about to censure that high-strung little gal.

And Miz Wilma allowed that maybe she was just tryin' guys out before settling down. A wise move: don't get one that drinks too much or snores. 

Tom Rebbards opined †hat maybe Tammy needed both Bubba and Billy Bob to get enough feck between them. Those boys wouldn't call "sooey" to keep from being et by hogs.

And Miz Clara remembered when Bubba pulled her car outa the ditch after she had a few at a afternoon tea party (or so she explained it). 

Anyway, to make a long story short, the School Board came to a resolution.

The resolution was to buy Miz Grady a Paint-by-Numbers set, maybe to help her fill the extra time she had on her hands!

Now that's hill folk bein' subtle. Tellin' Miz Grady that she needed to take up a hobby.

Do you have any better solution?

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

The Flying Spaghetti Monster in Tennessee

Several years ago, Crossville, Tennessee had a display of some religious artifacts, and other symbols, that were displayed on the Courthouse lawn. One of those appearing was the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Apparently most of the local people took it with a sense of humor.

And its appearance made national news.

Alas, his Noodley Appendage is no longer on display. 

But Cookeville, TN has a giant bikini-wearing pink elephant on water skis.

Monday, July 30, 2018

Progress Sort of Comes to Balsam Hill, but Chickens Out

"Political progress grows out of the barrel of a gun."
                                                  -- Mao Zedong

Balsam Hill, Tennessee was experiencing some cultural changes due to outsiders moving into the general area.

Now earlier there were city types from Nashville, Louavul (sic!), or Rolly (sic!) who found a mountain cabin to be to their liking. Now these in-state or nearby state types did not cause no ruckus, nohow! They were content to spend weekends and a week or two in summer in their cabins. And Billy Bob and Bubba, our not-so-dynamic duo, served as handymen/watchmen to their cabins when they weren't around. 

And some entrepreneurs brought pain relieving drugs to compete with that local polio weed (marijuana). And, bless their hearts, these city types had tastes for better wines than the local package store had been carrying. Things were good.

But Yankees also discovered they joys and unspoiled territory of Balsam Hill. And they also came - bringing along some foreign notions less welcome: zoning restrictions. And rules about decoration.

Gol-dern! Soon it was going to be against the law to have garden gnomes or plastic flamingoes or bottle trees. Now old grandpa Jethro's painstakingly collected Old Crow bottle tree would became illegal. And it took Old Jethro the better part of ten years' serious drinking to fill that tree! Neighbors considered it to be legendary!

And Miz Thomas. Now in honor of her five daughters, she had a bra tree in her front yard. Yessir . . . . them bras would have to go too. Anyway, the preacher Brother Bob argued that such things were showing the sin of pride. Especially Esmeralda's.

It took two men and a boy to look at Esmeralda, y'know.

And parking cars on cement blocks, such as they were, would be illegal. So the pride of Balsam Hill: the replica of The General Lee from The Dukes of Hazzard would have to go.

This comes from the exclusive worship of the bitch-goddess success. Although no one dared to erect a chapel in her honor. Too bad; it would have made a nice tourist attraction much like Crossville's Flying Spaghetti Monster monument.

However, things were not all bad: there were cheeses! Suddenly, hillbillies discovered the joys of brie! On crackers, no less!  Not to mention gorgonzola. Even if no one could spell it right. And some entrepreneurs brought pain relieving drugs to compete with that local polio weed (marijuana).

But getting back to the story. The locals were not diligent in exercising their right to vote (a local problem), so the outlanders got a majority on the County board and they decided to consider some ordinances restricting tacky property decorations. Yessir . . . . nothing dangling from trees, no indoor furniture on porches, no cars on cement blocks, no plastic flamingoes or garden gnomes. Not even little Disney mermaids in bird baths. Balsam Hill was going to be spruced up - neat as a New England village, you betcha!

Was Baslam Hill about to turn into a Connecticut town?

Well, on the evening those repressive measures were to be taken up by the council persons, it just also happened to be the first date of snipe hunting season. And there was lots of trucks parked by the Town Hall with loaded gun racks in their rear windows and sacks and sticks in the trunk.

It didn't even take a word to the wise. No, a word to the stupid would suffice.

You don't mess with the rights of people who tote guns. Even if they came to hunt snipe.

The town council tabled those repressive measures. Grandpa Jethro's Old Crow tree was safe.

Thursday, July 26, 2018

That Scene from Outlander

Last year the Starz television version of Outlander featured the famous (or infamous) spanking scene in which Claire gets spanked twelve times on her bare behind by Jamie for disobedience in a famously erotic power struggle. Apparently this particular episode attracted 1.2 million views, mostly women and girls, despite being in head-to-head competition at the time with the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. I guess they would rather see Claire's butt spanked than University of Kentucky's!

Since spanking is a recurrent motif in some bodice-rippers (women's slightly erotic historical fiction), it produced the occasional feminist complaint or interpretation. But 1.2 million viewers don't lie. I won't bore you with my interpretation of BDSM processes in that kind of scene.

Anyway, Tee Tina and Tee Boudreaux watched it; and some of the basketball as well. (Tee Boudreaux was really good to her to do that.) Anyway, losses by 'Nova and Kentucky pretty much wrecked their brackets.

Tina asked him afterwards if she annoyed him sometimes did he then ever felt like doing that to her (Cajun princesses can be prima donnas), and Tee Boo gave her a totally weird and puzzled look, with a W.T.F. written all over his face!* He denied it, and asked her, "What kind of question is that?"

Tina replied, "Oh, I was just curious." Girls do ask weird questions.

Tee Boo later confessed that he wondered whether Tee Tina had gotten a weird yen for that kind of treatment from having watched that scene, and went "Oh-oh . . . . trouble!"

Tina indicated no, and no trick question besides. Both of them were glad to clear that matter up!

Tee Boudreaux looked relieved that his girlfriend hadn't developed a kinky side out of the blue. Normal guys don't want to pretend to act like a jerk. Sometimes jerkiness just comes out anyway, but that's a horse of another color. 

They ended the evening like any civilized young couple by going out to have coffee and chocolate croissants.

*Guys look particularly cute with that W. T. F. look.

[No picture today: that one would be, like, ishy!]

Friday, July 20, 2018

The Legend of the Grunches

New Orleans has scads of legends, many from the 18th and 19th centuries which you can pursue if you have an interest. 

One of very recent origin (probably) is the story of the Grunches.

According to local legends, there is a race of misshapen albino dwarves (or lizard-like creatures) who prey on goats and dogs and sometimes humans. Their supposed hangout is in East New Orleans in the Little Woods area. Reports of seeing them come from time to time; often from teens who elected to park off a shell road for necking or serious fooling around and seeing a goat tethered or being eaten by one of these. The story is, if you see a tied-up goat, then get outa there pronto!

Supposedly these were creatures that were frightening enough that people tended to shy from them; and they became increasingly reclusive and dangerous with time.

After Hurricane Katrina and people began to move back into Lakeview and Gentilly (two New Orleans neighborhoods close by Lake Ponchartrain), stories began to circulate that you should not leave pet dogs or cats outdoors at night lest they be carried off by one of the Grunches. Probably those pets merely took French leave. Pets tend to do that sometimes. And there's always possible malevolent neighbors. No Grunches need apply as those who carry away pets.

These stories are like the spooky stories told elsewhere about the homicidal maniac with a hook on one of his arms. Anyway, the warning stands: Don't park along Grunch Road.

Gannon Road in Little Woods is the locale often referred to as Grunch Road, in case you're interested. Personally, I'd stay away due anyway to the often dangerous members of homo sapiens that to be around in that section of the city.


Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Grave Humor

A little beyond the grave humor. Some of these might be apocryphal. Others have been shown in Find a Grave*, for what it's worth.


Monday, July 16, 2018


I wish there was an excuse for wearing a kimono in public. They're so feminine and elegant!  However, wearing one in Tennessee or New Orleans (my two venues) is hardly practical.

Many people would misinterpret my wearing one as appearing in public in a bathrobe!  If I were to do that back home in New Orleans, I would qualify as a bona fide New Orleans eccentric, like Ignatius Reilly from A Confederacy of Dunces or Blanche Du Bois, from A Streetcar Named Desire.

I don't make the age requirement to be a New Orleans eccentric for a while yet. But there is a reservation for one more in my family!  Anyway, there's always room for high-maintenance eccentrics in New Orleans. And we always depend on the kindness of strangers!

Another nagging thought: If I were to wear a kimono, would that be committing the grievous sin of cultural appropriation? Oh well, maybe I should just wear a beach jacket instead! Maybe the lesser sin is to appear the slob!

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

BOTB: Angel of the Morning

I recently heard this song and found it to be surprisingly risqué considering the time it first came out back in the 1960's. Apparently, it was first offered for Connie Francis but she found it didn't fit in with her clean-cut image.  Chip Taylor wrote this song; and the version by Merrilee Rush and the Turnabouts and the Turnabouts charted #7 when it first came out in 1968. Enjoy!

Years later (1981), Juice Newton recorded a country pop version, which really made it big time. 

ABBA also covered it around the same time:

But there were numerous ones. Apparently, the time was ripe for a song about a woman's feelings about a one night stand. So there we have it for this one. So which one pleased you best (if any): Merrilee Rush's, Juice Newton's, or ABBA's? I hope this BOTB session pleases . . . .

Friday, July 6, 2018

Doberge Cake

A New Orleans traditional cake that has spread to the outlying nearby area is the doberge cake. To find a nice recipe for this overindulgent confection just click on this link:

By the way, it's pronounced "dobash cake" in New Orleans. It's so good! It was supposed have descended from a type of torte made in Alsace.

Yes, it's caloric. But, enjoy. Laissez les bon temps rouler!

Monday, July 2, 2018

A Custom on the Redneck Riviera

The expression "Redneck Riviera" has been around as long as people can remember. This is what it's about: It's a two-state strip of coast from Mobile County (AL) to St. Marks (FL). It's favored with pristine sandy beaches, a laid-back attitude among the locals, and good times for visitors. This is where the Real South goes for R and R and misbehavior.

Well, it's only a day's drive from Tennessee or Northern Alabama or Georgia. The water is a little coolish at Spring Break time, but it's still good for sunning and hanging around.

This was the attraction that drew Billy Bob and Bubba with their lady friends Tammy and Cynthia to the Coast for a good time under the sun. Yep; to that coastal den of iniquity: Gulf Shores.

Now, after having checked in (one couple asked for twin beds), they changed into swimwear and headed for the beach. And that Mecca of Music and Good Times: the Flora-Bama Lounge!

They soon got in the spirit of the place!

In that setting, it is de rigeur to try the Bushwacker! And another! And . . . . shall we say that it was a good thing that nobody had to drive far! 

Now one local custom is for ladies, if they feel like it, to add a contribution to the decor of the place by hanging their bra over a rope stretched across the room. Yes, this involves a partial disrobing; but that's part of the routine. (It pays to plan ahead for this eventuality, and wear one that is near the end of its effective use anyway.)

Well, our ladies got the idea, "Why not?"

Tammy the Redheaded Schoolteacher simply pulled her t-shirt off, removed hers, and basked in the glory of being noticed by all.  Her class never paid that kind of close attention, you bet!

But Cynthia got some second thoughts. She lifted her tee, barely showed her belly button (an innie), and stopped. She looked imploringly at Bubba. 

Bubba, ever the Southern gentleman, pulled off his shirt and somewhat covered Cynthia. Cynthia, emboldened, completed the process and restored her t-shirt.

Later on, Cynthia decided that Bubba was all right; and thought that perhaps she and Bubba could rethink the notion of twin beds.

Whatever happens in Gulf Shores stays in Gulf Shores. That's the way it should be.

Even Cynthia's bra.

The Flora-Bama's Decor