A lingerie shower is usually where a bride-to-be is feted at a party where female friends bestow lingerie gifts, drink wine or champagne, and have a good old time exchanging ribald repartee, laughing, whooping, and hollering.
To be sure, the lingerie is often politely risqué, including panties and thongs, sexy bras, guêpières, nightgowns, and the like.
Well, things happened differently on the range in Wyoming, where cowboys in the bunkhouse dealing with cold weather, wind, snow, mooing cows, and boredom on the range. Some of the cowhands noted that Cowgirl Melinda was feeling really down and that she liked being, well, a little feminine in some ways, so they decided to cheer her up and cheer themselves up. How? By having a lingerie shower, as one of them read about this notion in one of those magazines they turn to out of boredom and to check up on feminine bodies lest they forget.
So they planned, and shopped, and set the date! Truth to tell, they were all a little punchy from the cold, wind, and snow. But, by gum, cowboys are resourceful, especially the Dallas kind. Ask the Redskins.
They got neat invitations printed; and each did some special shopping on line or their day off in town. Talk about bulls in china shops: What about cowboys going in Victoria's Secret or even Trashy Lingerie? Well, the shoppers from the ranch could do without confused looks from salesgirls, so some shopped online.
The day of glory arrived. After Melinda unsaddled, fed, and watered her pony, she saw this sign on the door:
And the full ranch of cowpokes were inside, grinning like mules eatin' briars. (Kind of like what Easterners call a shit-eating grin.) They whooped it up when Melinda entered, and the party began. First, a round of champagne to start things on, and this was chased by a dose of plonk from the master vinters of Denver! Them the party began, beginning with the cowboy's lament:
"With a ki-yi-yo, get along, little dogie,
It's your misfortune, and none of my own....."
And brief testimonials from the buckeroos in honor of Cowgirl Melinda, who carried her own load as a ranch hand and didn't bitch about the constant wind. Melinda felt the love from her trail mates.
Then time for the gifts!
Pedro gave her a pink nightie with optional black bikini panties. This was pronounced "Darling!" by Melinda.
Jake came up with the lacy white gupiêrère that would make any woman look damned hot! The other hands wondered about where Jake's taste in women's clothing came from. A cat house in Rawlings? Anyway, everyone took a deep breath as they absorbed that vision.
Several thongs were bestowed on Melinda, guaranteeing her days of cooling tailwinds and silk wedgies.
And nightgowns. Demure ones, daring ones, Transparent ones. And transparent bras! And just barely there panties!
Pecos Al showed exquisite taste by gifting Melinda with a kimono.
Colorado Sam came up with a Colorado bikini top, giving a bit of humor in the process. Sorry, no Wyoming version.
And perfume, for when she tired of smelling like a horse.
Now how did Melinda take this unusual surprise party? Well, she asked for another round of bubbly while she modeled some of the outfits for the celebrating buckaroos!
As Melinda put it while modeling one of the thongs, "Now you can all be the judge as to whether my ass is too big."
But the real show-stopper was when she came out in the lacy white gupiêrère! Mamma mia!
Sometimes the boys can be fun! But on the prairie, you have to make your own fun. But it helps if all are desperate, nonjudgmental, and have a sense of humor. Especially Melinda.
It's little perks like this that help with group cohesion.