Where Do I Buy Those Big Girl Panties?

"Put on your big girl panties and deal with it." 

That expression has been around long enough that some peoples' grannies even use it now. But that expression does raise a lot of questions among the literally-minded.  Lets see . . . . What sort of panties are big girl panties? Bikinis, grannies, or thongs? Or is the user sexist enough to refer to boy shorts? Why does the task or trial at hand require the wearing of panties? Couldn't going commando suffice, particularly in the Summer? And where do you buy them? Does that store have two day shipping?  See?

What about "man up?"  Should a female woman up?" How does a man man up? Does this automatically happen at age 18? Isn't there something inherently sexist in the term? Or does he need testosterone shots? There's even an expression cowboy up. Do people become electricians by electrician up?  

And when someone says spot on, where is that spot? Is it marked with an "X" like expected? Could that be at the Spot Festival? Or is spotted or polka-dotted? Does it require wearing an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka dot bikini when visited? I want to follow the dress code. Finally, when Lady Macbeth says, "Out, damned spot," does he go?

We can see terms like Tiger Nation or Bama Nation on sports pages. Do I have to show my passport when entering those places, and where exactly are the boundaries? Are they democracies, monarchies, or peoples' republics? And are the natives friendly?  

There are others. Can I get my skill set from Wal-Mart; or must I go to Home Depot?  Can I buy parts individually?  

And what about teachable moments? Are they just lessons, or more so? Do they need to be approved by the curriculum committee and the Board of Education? At what time do they occur? And do you need a teacher's license to have one? Are they as painful as algebra?

The expression my bad is heard very often; but no one says my good. This is odd, given the self-congratulationary present times. It is rather dismissive of failures; like minimizing them in a way. But is my bad reserved for misdemeanors, or could is also be used for felonies?

I get concerned when someone says that she is killing it. Killing what? Kitties, baby seals, or taxmen? And does this person have homicidal tendencies? And the callousness of offhand using that expression . . . .

The expression bad hair day is a bit overused, especially since it has gone into the metaphorical swamp. I have yet to hear some say that she's having a good hair day. And, anyway, how are those tresses bad? Tangled, lacking luster, mussed up, or (horrors!) simply unwashed? On Monday, my criteria for good and bad hair are relaxed. Thank God for scrunchies!