Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Pyramid Power as a Cult or Gang Symbol

Prissville was one of those uptight communities: the burghers there always did the right thing, belonged to the right clubs, belonged to the right churches. Nothing outlandish, mind you. No one handled serpents or baptized people in the river. Still, there was a troublesome undercurrent of change: migrants from the Appalachian South moved into the Midwest, bringing their outlandish habits with them. Still, with the steady hand of the local police, this possible troublesome element still had the potential but was effectively kept in check!

It started by chance one of the local disapprovers of the redneck element (as they were styled) noticed a strange adornment of the dashboards of the migrants' vehicles: for some reason many of them started sporting small colored pyramids! Sure enough, he wondered about this, and let his imagination wander. He asked the banker if he noticed something, and he said that he did. And didn't know why these suddenly appeared. Was it a cult sign? After all, you know mountain people; they often belong to strange cults! Or was it a redneck gang sign, and this was how they identified members' cars so as to not break into them. This speculation multiplied as more cars, especially junkers, showed up with pyramids on the dashboard.

The local police chief was informed, as he was not au courant with the local gossip. He promised to look into it, and noticed the pyramids too! After a few weeks in which the long-residing residents speculated all sorts of possibilities, matters became scary when they noticed a local doctor's Buick had a yellow pyramid also! Did this reliable social figure go over to the dark side?

Finally, the Chief, who knew the Doctor socially, asked him about the yellow pyramid.

The Doctor replied, "Oh I bought it at a car wash in Hillsdale," a nearby city.

"Which car wash?"

"Oh, Mayley's. The do good car washes there."

So the Chief, no slouch at finding out the facts, took a undercover road trip to Hillsdale. He thought he could get some coffee and doughnuts while there.

So we went to Mayley's Car Wash. There, he got a good car wash, as the Doctor recommended he would get. One of the car wash detailers, wearing tight shorts and mini-top, recommended to him that he add on one of the Pyramid Dashboard Air Fresheners to help with the musty smell for when the car is closed up during the Fall. When he took the scented pyramid add-on, she gave him a bodacious kiss!

So the Police Chief returned to Prissville, where he informed the mover and shakers of his findings: these ol' pyramids weren't cult signs or gang symbols, they were merely car air fresheners! 

The movers and shakers were disappointed with his report; and concluded that he did a lousy job of getting the facts. Or, maybe, he was in cahoots with the redneck gangs now!

Actually, they were very comfortable with the idea that those rednecks brought strange, possible dangerous customs to Prissville. When people have a choice between an odd, imaginative belief and a mundane fact, they'll usually go with the odd, imaginative belief. After all, those big damned pyramids in heathen Egypt were unlikely to be humongous air fresheners, even with all those smelly camels around!












10 comments:

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

I remember when people misinterpreted what those cheap crowns on the dashboards got consistently misinterpreted with bogus meanings. Their were simply car deodorizers.

John Hill said...

For a bodacious kiss from a tight shorts, mini top wearing girl...yeah, I'd buy a pyramid air freshener. I might even lose it and have to go back next week!

Big Sky Heidi said...

They definitely know how to sweeten the deal with effective sales techniques!

Dixie@dcrelief said...

Ha hahaha!! LOve it. Where do I get one?

Anonymous said...

Rumor abounds when information is lacking.

TexWisGirl said...

haha.

Duckbutt said...

Great story!

I remember the crown air fresheners:
http://www.snopes.com/business/alliance/crown.asp

allenwoodhaven said...

Good story! I particularly like the last paragraph.

People can't help jumping to conclusions, and plenty don't let facts get in the way.

Mike said...

I think I may start collecting pyramid air fresheners.

Bilbo said...

I enjoyed taking the time to pyramid the other comments. Good story!