Friday, September 18, 2015

The Proper Way to Handle Conflicts Between Conscience and the Law

Potentially unpopular laws have made the news lately, both in Kentucky and Alabama. Elvis provided a link to the Alabama one. Here's a take-off on how to solve the Alabama one:

[A Statement by Sheriff Buford Jones, Sheriff of Dorkville. Scene: Dorkville City Courthouse; Date: September 25, 2015]

Sheriff Buford Jones: "Good morning, Dorkville City Council Members, esteemed ladies and gentlemen of Dorkville, members of the press.

"Yesterday the Dorkville City Council passed a burdensome ordinance affecting the ladies of our fine community. Specifically, this ordinance specifics any member of the fair sex from wearing short shorts or miniskirts within the city limits of this municipality. I say this is burdensome, and is against the best interests of all our citizens for the ladies to be forced to wear pants or full-length skirts in the sweltering heat of an Alabama Summer!

"As Charles Dickens once wrote, 'The law is an ass.' And I categorically refuse to ride that ass. I will not enforce this terrible ordinance. It is wrong; and enacting it does not make it right, any more than a rooster is improved by making it wear socks.

"Therefore, as of this moment, can no longer serve as a sworn peace officer. Therefore, I hereby tender my resignation. Here's the copy I leave for the Council, my badge, and my gun. I enjoyed serving as your Sheriff these fourteen years; but will now try out working in the private sector.  I am sending copies of my resignation to the Dorkville Democrat, the Montgomery Advertiser, and the Mobile Press-Register.

"God bless Dorkville, the State of Alabama, and the United States of America."
This announcement surprised many people; some pro, some con. One of the out-of-state newspapers expressed surprise  that the Sheriff quoted Charles Dickens, asking whether this is a sign that a Southern lawman actually reads!


Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer said...

But by resigning he just withdraws from the issue.

Linda Kay said...

Probably not the best reason to be leaving an elected position. Is he going to hire out as an escort for ladies with short skirts?

Mike said...

Don't leave Sheriff Buford. Just hire some Taliban men to do dress code enforcement. They'll have the town 'whipped' into shape in no time.

The Bastard King of England said...

It was a stupid law!

Grand Crapaud said...

The county clerk in Kentucky should have quit !

Cloudia said...

Sharia law!!!!!


Bilbo said...


Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

A problem with dumb laves is that someone is left enforcing them. Good satire, Angel!


Big Sky Heidi said...

That's what Kim Davis should have done. If she didn't want to do her job, quit it so someone else could do it.