Thursday, May 1, 2014

Hello or Heaveno

As bizarre as it might seem, a few years ago in 1997 a Kingsville, Texas resident named Leonso Canales. Jr. offered "Heaveno" as a substitute greeting for "Hello."  The rationale is so that the Devil would not be given his due with free advertisement for his rather warm place.  In short, the continued use of "Hello" might result in damnation and/or Oklahoma Sooner fandom.

This substitute greeting was adopted by Kleberg County as its official greeting.  It made a little bit of a stir for a while, and locals practiced the substitute greeting for the theologically risky one.  After all, they passed a binding resolution:


WHEREAS, Since the time of man's dawn, we have created traditions to lead us through life, and

WHEREAS, Leonso Canales Jr. has received national acclaim for coining the greeting "HeavenO," which could become a positive tradition, and

WHEREAS, We live in a time referred by historians as the Age of Anxiety in  cycles of change, and

WHEREAS, The Age of Anxiety in the Millennial Cycle includes the baby
boomers, the Hippie turned Yuppie, and the New Youth, and

WHEREAS, The New Youth need hope for their millennial kingdom of opportunity  which includes a promise of good health care, of employment for the future, and the positive greeting epitomized by Mr. Canales' "HeavenO" as a symbol of good things to come, and

WHEREAS, We cannot wait for the millennial norm to be spontaneous behavior, but instead, we need to take the rod in hand and proclaim peace and "HeavenO" to our neighbors throughout the world,

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that Kleberg County adopts Mr. Leonso Canales Jr.'s universal greeting of "HeavenO" as the official greeting of Kleberg County and as a symbol of peace, friendship, and welcome.

LET IT BE FURTHER RESOLVED that Kleberg County commends Mr. Leonso Canales Jr. for his positive approach to greeting people, the national attention he has brought to our county, and his dedication to community.  



Anyway, poor Mandy does not seem to have gotten the memo.  And a small number of the local Buddhists started saying, "Nirvana-O."  The state ACLU subjected this to scrutiny; but decided that no one who got involved in this affair could avoid looking ridiculous.

I suggest, strictly in the spirit of conciliation, the suggestion that the substitution of "Howdy" might work with no dire long-term consequences as to afterlife status.


Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Alexander Graham Bell used "Ahoy."

Duckbutt said...

Possibly some fundamentalist church will adopt 'Heaveno.'

Bilbo said...

I remember reading about this when it first came out in the news, and my reaction was the same as the ACLU's. This was a DUMBCON -1 event for sure.

MarkD60 said...

Reminds me of a kindergarten "joke" we had... broken record:
hello why don't you go to hello why don't you to to hello why don't you go hello why don't you to to...

Banana Oil said...

I somehow suspect that he was just pulling peoples' legs. This has all the earmarks of a local hoax.

TexWisGirl said...

not buying into it, myself! :)

Chuck Bear said...

A cute, sexy cartoon. A bizarre concept.

Mike said...

Heaveno? Hellno!

Anonymous said...

G'day is very popular here.....not sure where that sits on the religious agenda.

Anonymous said...

G'day is very popular here.....not sure where that sits on the religious agenda.

Kristen Drittsekkdatter said...

G'day is totally nonsectarian here.

So is hello, really.

Hi might be taken as an endorsement of marijuana.

Big Sky Heidi said...

If I were to greet people with 'Heaveno,' they would think I'm nuts. Don't need to help that.