Friday, May 9, 2014

Cowgirl Melinda Tries a Cosmopolitan

Cowgirl Melinda needed to get away from the job for a spell, so she took an unpaid vacation down to Denver.  It's a fact of life, but cowhands tend to get few fringe benefits other than the fresh air, cheap alcohol, and all the beef they can eat.

Anyway, she went down into the belly of the beast:  Greenie Country.  She shied away from the People's Republic of Boulder, and the City of Bland Beer, and went to the metropolis itself.  Actually, it was enlightening: she thoroughly enjoyed the Denver Art Museum and the Museum of Natural History.  And she had a quiche for lunch while at the Museum.  The waiter rolled is eyes when she asked for the "quichy"; but Melinda took that to be a nervous tic causes from too much urban dwelling.

And when she got back to her truck, she found it was ticketed.  Now the ticket-issuers take particular delight in writing citations for vehicles bearing bucking bronco tags.*  Melinda swore; but wasn't doing to let a little ole parking ticket rain on her parade; she's just skedaddle back to Wyoming with it unpaid.  Or maybe she would.  Who knows.  Does Denver hire bounty hunters to catch people who don't pay parking tickets?

Anyway, she went for a drink in the hotel, and asked for the bartender's recommendation.  Now Melinda was wearing a sophisticated dress for this urban visit, not jeans and a work shirt like back on the ranch.

The bartender said, "You really should like a Cosmopolitan."

And Melinda said, "Okay, I'm game!"

A few minutes later, Melinda is given this red drink, with what looks like a thin slice of orange peel in the glass.  Melinda said, "This is odd.  I wonder what's in it?"  She soon found out.

It was the sweetest and sourest damned drink she ever tasted.

""Is this Cosmopolitan based on a sweet and sour pork sauce?"

So the bartender told her what was in it: vodka, cranberry juice, lime juice, triple sec, and ice.  It's a popular drink on Sex and the City.

Well, Melinda first thought that it was a little rough; but it began to grow on her.  She thought, "Now this is something to take back for my bunkmates."  Unlike the rough image television fostered, they have over time come to appreciate some of the little pleasures, like coffee latte and cloth table napkins.

So one evening, a group of Wyoming ranch hands sat around drinking Cosmopolitans.  Another form of Eastern decadence came to Ten Sleep and Buffalo.

Cosmopolitan Recipe

2 ounces of vodka

1/2 ounce triple sec

1 ounce  cranberry juice

1/4 to 1/2 ounce fresh lime juice

1 2-inch orange peel/twist

*A little esoterica: the bronco on Wyoming tags is that of Steamboat, the horse that no one could successfully ride in a rodeo.


Duckbutt said...

There's a bizarreness to cowboys drinking cosmopolitans, somehow.

Interesting note about the license plate horse.

TexWisGirl said...

i've never had a cosmopolitan. based on the ingredients, i'd probably like it, though.

Clarissa said...

I thought Cosmopolitans were not served west of St. Louis, and even that's a stretch.

Mike said...

Instead of asking for quichy she should just skip the fancy wording and ask for what it really is, egg pie.

Meredith said...

At least he was not a Horse With No Name.

Bilbo said...

It's nice that Melinda wants to try new things, but she'd probably have enjoyed a Bullshot more: 1 1/2 ounces vodka, 3 ounces chilled beef bouillon, a dash of Worchestershire, Tabasco, salt and pepper to taste. Pour the ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice, shake well, then strain into a highball glass filled with ice. It's an acquired taste.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

I tried both a Cosmo and a Bullshot. I'll do Bullshots again.

Are Wyoming cowboys having fewer rough edges lately?

John Hill said...

Bourbon, neat for me. But I'd buy you whatever you like if you'd share a table and a few moments with a curmudgeon in training.