Monday, January 9, 2012

The Goddesses Euphemia and Belldandy

The Most Serene Goddess Euphemia was less than serene at that moment, disconsolate that mortals persisted in their use of dysphemisms.  At the present time, she was disheartened by their persistent use of (to her) offensive terms regarding various sexual acts.  Obviously, the F Word reliably caused her to blanch; but certain other expressions did, too.  Specifically, those applicable to female parts, male reproductive parts, and certain noncoital actions.  Thing about those ending with "job."  Their very usage suggests something unpleasant, like septic tank job or lube job.  Oh well.

But she could make no headway.  In desperation, she consulted with a minor sister goddess, Belldandy, who seemed to have acquired an intuitive knowledge of humans by living with one for a while.  A Platonic relationship, I hasten to add!

Anyway, Belldandy listened very carefully, and emphasized that Euphemia  might get better results if she considered proper word usage from a sales perspective: avoiding dysphemisms help the person get ahead.  Consider this: most guys would like to ramp up their sex lives, and they usually have enough cool not to say, "Hey, baby, let's f***!"  But they might not necessarily know certain other pitfalls, like referring to the lady's **** or asking for a **** job.

So Euphemia told a college guy not to use **** or **** or ****, by indicating that those expressions are turnoffs to girls.  Suprisingly, he listened very carefully, and seemed to get it after a while.

He then said, "So let me get this straight, lady.  If I don't use those expressions, I'm more likely to get laid?"

Euphemia realized that she still had a ways to go.

             Geaux Tigers!                                  


Anonymous said...

The grils in my home town weren't bothered by those words.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Thanks for the tip...........

Good luck tonight.

Anonymous said...

Grils like dirty talk, but girls don't.

Bilbo said...

One of the things I've learned as a result of love of language and an undergraduate degree in Linguistics is that words matter. And if you're a skinny geek, the right words matter a lot more. 'Nuff said.