Vacation Breasts

As bizarre as the idea might seem, Dr, Norman Rowe, a plastic surgeon, is proposing the idea of "vacation breasts" for women who might want temporarily to upgrade their profile. Specifically, these are temporary breast enlargements that result from saline injections in the bosoms that are projected to last about two weeks or so before the saline solution is absorbed away. The procedure at the present time doesn't last that long; but the doctor claims that tweaking the procedure will result in positive results for the full two weeks.

The cost? About $2500 per time; and the procedure takes only about 20 minutes to complete. For most of us, this is a vacation luxury that we cannot afford. After all, why not adopt permanent ones for $6000? (I may buy a new swimsuit and sun blocker to prepare for summer; but that's about it with my limited budget.)

Anyway, the absorption process does begin eventually; and there's no guarantee that absorption will occur with both at the same rate. Imagine having unbalanced boobs!

But while vacation breasts might be an expensive self-indulgence for some ladies, perhaps job interview breasts might be a strategically financial strategy! However, if you're wearing a power suit to an interview, strategically employing bra inserts would work just as well with a fraction of the costs!

"Bob Wills Is Still the King" - BOTB

For this Battle of the Bands I'd like to use a tribute song: "Bob Wills Is Still the King." Bob Wills, active during the 1940's and 1950's, developed a music style called Western Swing, combining country with jazz renditions. He did represent a departure from the music of his time.

Anyway, Waylon Jennings did the original version of "Bob Wills Is Still the King" back in 1975. Jennings was part of the Outlaw Country music style, along with Willie Nelson, Jessi Colter, Tompall Glaser, and others. Here's the Jennings rendition:

Who would dare to cover this almost legendary song? None other than those singing grandfathers, the Rolling Stones, during a musical tour that appeared in Austin:

There you have it. If you're in the mood, listen to both and vote which one better rings your chimes:

Waylon Jennings ________

The Rolling Stones ________

And over the next few days, visit and vote on other BOTB participants. You will hear some great songs! You betcha!

ANGELS BARK

BOOK LOVER

CURIOUS AS A CATHY

DCRELIEF - BATTLE OF THE BANDS 

FAR AWAY SERIES
HOLLI'S HOOTS & HOLLERS
J.A.SCOTT
JINGLE JANGLE JUNGLE

MIKE'S RAMBLINGS
NOVEL BREWS
QUIET LAUGHTER
ReINVINTAGED

STMcC PRESENTS BATTLE OF THE BANDS

THE DOG LADY'S DEN

THE SOUND OF ONE HAND TYPING 

TOSSING IT OUT

JANIE JUNEBUG RIGHTING AND EDITING

YOUR DAILY DOSE

My apologies if I left anyone out!

Politely Naming Sports Teams

One of the hot-button political correctness issues nowadays is whether certain sports teams have socially or ethnically team names. Thus, the Cleveland Indians and the Washington Redskins have generated a lot of ire; less so the Kansas City Chiefs. And there's inconsistency: the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, the University of Louisiana - Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns, and the Maryville College Fighting Scots evoke nary a quibble. Maybe Hibernians and Acadians have thicker skin?

For the record, there was once an Atlanta professional baseball team called the Atlanta Crackers. And the old Negro League had a team called the Atlanta Black Crackers. Presumably, neither had to do with Saltines.

Anyway, the focus has largely on professional and university sports; though the Pekin (Ill.) High School Chinks have been criticized, rightly so. But the most wild and wooly sports teams names are found in ladies' amateur softball team names.

For your edification, here are a few of them:

The Pussy Cat Dolls

Ball Busters

Salsa Girls

Farmers' Daughters

Chicas

Mall Rats

Dead Bunnies

Clichés

Ponytail Express

Whale Tails

Underwear with Special Powers

The Spandex Squad

The Other White Meat 

Tomboyz

Masterbatters

Runs Not Buns

Leather and Lace

Here for Beer

Fast Girls

7th Inning Kegels

Beaches

Honeymoon's Over

Hit Squad

Mean Girls

Nasty Girls

Saddle Soars

The Overeasies

The Tight Ends

Beer Nuts

Beer Goggles

Very clearly, having two X chromosomes is no impediment to having a sports sense of humor!

Well-Developed Fronts From the East

Apparently, a handsome weatherperson got into an unexpected adventure while down in Miami.  While in a bar, he claimed that he was approached by two ladies that looked like girls from next door, partied with them, and eventually spent the next few days drugged.

His American Express card was charged to the tune of $43,000 dollars.

However, he was instrumental in helping the FBI by giving testimony that broke up a Bar Girls scam that netted 17 arrests. 

Here's a cartoonist's take on the escapade:

I think you can guess.

They apparently slipped him some drug.

http://articles.nydailynews.com/2012-06-01/news/31965867_1_drinks-girls-next-door-women

Nicknaming the Administrators

Doctor Dawson Winters was a Vice-President for Student Affairs at Western New York State University, a progressive university in the Empire State. In recent times, students at the University appeared restive; and he wanted to head off any possible friction or disorder on campus by minimizing the various since divisive elements. Unfortunately, since campuses were as heterogeneous as the larger society that they draw students from, this was not an easy task. 

Still, thank God there was no large numbers of protest songs played on the contemporary FM station; those from the 1970's were largely buried on the golden oldie station that played a lot of bubblegum music also.

But Dawson, bless his heart, fancied himself to be a proactive guy; despite being in his 50's, he saw himself as hip and cool and with it to the core! Now it was incumbent of him to persuade the students that he was to better relate to him. He conferred with his assistant, Dean of Students Chauncey Harfield, on how this should be accomplished. Actually, he more or less told poor Harfield what to do, and Harfield slavishly took notes and tried to accomplish this great Meeting of the Minds with the typical undergraduates of New York.

One idea they had was to host a Meet the Veep session; but only SGA types showed up and in small numbers.

Then Dean Harfield proposed that they advertise the next one as a pizza and cold soda session with the Veep; and had the cheerleaders serve as hostesses! Now attendance was better; it was just a matter of finding the right motivation. Damn, as a sociologist specializing in Community Organization, he should have realized that.

While the students were interacting with them and mostly eating pizza and swilling soda (as they call it in upstate NY), they held a free-wheeling rap session. Yes, they referred to it that way.

("Oh," VP Dawson thought, "This is going to work. Now let's see what kind of rapport we can make to better deal with student body problems.")

A student complained that the food service in the Student Union offered very bland choices. VP Dawson saw this as a concrete entry into the realm of student problems. If he could just earn good will by taking action promptly.

"Mister....your name, please? What sort of specific changes would you wish to see?"

"Hey Veep, my name's Bart. How about some tacos and Taylor ham as choices?"

"Okay, sounds good. Any other ideas? And please give your name so I can properly address you."

"My name is Tyler; and I think that we're too formal around WNYSU. We get addressed as 'Mister' or 'Miz' by profs; and we call them 'Doctor' or 'Professor.' Us Millennials are more informal than that. We need to get with the times around here.

"Okay, Tyler. That sounds good. Why don't you call me Dawson from now on. And everyone else is invited to call me Dawson. And you can also call the Dean 'Chauncey,' if you'd like."

Another student, definitely in the spirit of things, asked, "Why not give ole Chauncey the nickname 'Izzle?' 'Cause he is definitely the man!" 

The Veep was, 'My God! Somehow Chauncey made a larger hit with them than I did. Did I come on too strong, somehow?"

But then the student added, "And you can have the nickname 'Pizzle,' because you're definitely the one!" The other students applauded wildly!

So Vice-President Winters acquired the nickname Pizzle. He thought, "Won't my colleagues be envious of my newly-acquired rapport with students as signaled by my being granted a nickname through acclamation!"

Research on Breast Size Preferences

It is well-known that men (and teen boys) have this fascination with female breasts, as can be seen with the popularity of Playboy-type magazines, breastaurants, and television programs. Undeniably, this is a factor in mate selection; but it's no simple equation: larger = better! Fortunately, psychologists in institutions with research funds to burn and permissive human subjects committees have attempted to discern some major truths in this matter. 

There are practical considerations to go with this interest: (1) the average bra size of an adult woman has dramatically increased from 34B to 34DD in the past 20 years or so; (2) more than 250,000 women per year receive breast augmentation procedures. Clearly, there is a significant trend going on.

So what do we know about men who prefer them large, as opposed to those who have more modest preferences? Lots of things:

(1) Hungry men prefer larger breasts, according to Malaysian researchers Swami and Tovée. This may relate to food supply insecurity. They are most strongly fixated on bigger hooters before meals, and less so later. (This could be exploited by television programming.)

(2) Sexist men prefer larger breasted women. This translates into traits as preferring traditional femininity, hostility towards women, and benevolent sexism. We can infer, therefore, that less well-endowed women might draw fewer jerks!

(3) Men who more strongly want to become fathers prefer larger breasts on women; men who are not as inclined prefer smaller breasts on their ladies.

(4) Financially more secure men tend to prefer smaller breasts on women, while those less secure tend to prefer them bigger. Is this a form of compensation?

Interestingly, a woman's breast size had no effect on the amount of time males' eyes tracked her chest. In other words: whether you're large or small, the eyes of Texas are upon (your boobs)! 

Ladies, the fact that you have breasts that might be stared at by guys might confer certain health benefits to them. Therefore, you might consider yourself a gratis health care provider!

Here is another health care provider taking advantage of this technique of alternative medicine:

Finally, research on breast implant size chosen for augmentation surgery indicated that size chosen was affected by current breast volume, goals, body habits, and possible breast sagging. In the warmer states like Texas, Florida, and California, average implant size ranges from 300 cc. to 425 cc. In the Midwest and Northeast, breast implant size ranges from 250 cc. to 350 cc. In Europe and Asia, the average breast implant size ranges from 200 cc. to 300 cc.

In the United States, most women who choose breast augmentation surgery aspire to C-cup breasts.

Cowgirl Melinda Muses on Politics, 2016 Style

Sometimes on the prairie a gal gets time to think away from the blare of media coverage of election politics up to one's wazoo. Holy cow; don't they make whiskey or at least chill pills do deal with such excesses! Anyway, some lonesome cowboys came to the chuckwagon with notions, both about good chuck and making a play for Melinda. But . . . . they are no showers on the prairie and everyone smells like cows.

So they told lies and talked about politics. Or lied about politics, which is par for 2016.

This got Melinda into some talking.

"Ya know, Shorty, those tame Eastern politicians have some crazy notions."

"How so, Sweet Buns?"

After throwing a biscuit at Shorty, Melinda discoursed. 

"Well, first of all, what's this about building an 1800-mile wall across the desert to keep people out? Why not build a barbed wire fence between South Dakota and Wyoming to keep the eastern varmints out?"

Pecos Larry said, "Now that's a good notion to chew on. And how about those people confused as to where they want to pee?"

"Now that's a strange question. Pee where you want; just don't go behind a bush occupied by someone else."

"Now this Bernie Sanders fella wants to send everyone to college. What you think of that?"

"We gotta think more about that wild notion. After all, these people running for office went to such places as Princeton, Yale, Chicago, and Wharton, wherever the hell that is. How come they keep such strange notions? Next thing, they're thinking like crazy Coloradans after smoking that legal locoweed. Where's all the money coming from?" They're going to tax us more till we squeal! And then tax the squeal!"

Shorty said he couldn't make out those superdelegates, What super powers did they have?

"Shoot . . . . ponder! Their superpower is not having to listen to the common lot like us, never mind what the voters say. Think of them as big mules 'cause they're plumb stubborn."

One of the cowpokes said he could never keep straight why some people get fewer convention votes despite getting more votes at the polls. 

Melinda interpreted it thusly, "Politics is like playing poker with a rigged deck. And I don't play no strip poker; just penny ante hands. People who play politics should always remember it's like playing poker in a crooked house."

Shorty just had an idea he couldn't get out of his craw. "What about all the newspaper and television reporters reporting so much on the candidates, Melinda?"

"Listen up, Bucko. No one can resist being paid to watch a train wreck or a strip show."