Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Cowgirl Melinda Muses on Politics, 2016 Style

Sometimes on the prairie a gal gets time to think away from the blare of media coverage of election politics up to one's wazoo. Holy cow; don't they make whiskey or at least chill pills do deal with such excesses! Anyway, some lonesome cowboys came to the chuckwagon with notions, both about good chuck and making a play for Melinda. But . . . . they are no showers on the prairie and everyone smells like cows.

So they told lies and talked about politics. Or lied about politics, which is par for 2016.

This got Melinda into some talking.

"Ya know, Shorty, those tame Eastern politicians have some crazy notions."

"How so, Sweet Buns?"

After throwing a biscuit at Shorty, Melinda discoursed. 

"Well, first of all, what's this about building an 1800-mile wall across the desert to keep people out? Why not build a barbed wire fence between South Dakota and Wyoming to keep the eastern varmints out?"

Pecos Larry said, "Now that's a good notion to chew on. And how about those people confused as to where they want to pee?"

"Now that's a strange question. Pee where you want; just don't go behind a bush occupied by someone else."

"Now this Bernie Sanders fella wants to send everyone to college. What you think of that?"

"We gotta think more about that wild notion. After all, these people running for office went to such places as Princeton, Yale, Chicago, and Wharton, wherever the hell that is. How come they keep such strange notions? Next thing, they're thinking like crazy Coloradans after smoking that legal locoweed. Where's all the money coming from?" They're going to tax us more till we squeal! And then tax the squeal!"

Shorty said he couldn't make out those superdelegates, What super powers did they have?

"Shoot . . . . ponder! Their superpower is not having to listen to the common lot like us, never mind what the voters say. Think of them as big mules 'cause they're plumb stubborn."

One of the cowpokes said he could never keep straight why some people get fewer convention votes despite getting more votes at the polls. 

Melinda interpreted it thusly, "Politics is like playing poker with a rigged deck. And I don't play no strip poker; just penny ante hands. People who play politics should always remember it's like playing poker in a crooked house."

Shorty just had an idea he couldn't get out of his craw. "What about all the newspaper and television reporters reporting so much on the candidates, Melinda?"

"Listen up, Bucko. No one can resist being paid to watch a train wreck or a strip show."


Chuck Bear said...

We got both a train wreck and a strip show this year!

Deena said...

Melinda shows uncommon sense about where people should pee.

John Hill said...

Thanks for sharing the wisdom of Cowgirl Melinda!

Gorilla Bananas said...

I think she'd make a great running mate for Hillary. A balanced ticket followed by cowgirls positions in the White House.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Cowgirl Melinda is not unfamiliar with doing it Cowgirl Style.

Dixie@dcrelief said...

Nailed it, you did!!

Linda Kay said...

A fun post, and right on with her comments. And now we have still several months of election, then months and months of discourse. We need to find a better job for some of those reporters. I read something today about the amount of money spent on the campaigns. I think it's disgraceful in light of the need in our country.

Cloudia said...


Cloudia said...

One thing: Those folks aren't confused about where to go to the bathroom. It is other folks who don't even know them who are confused!

Duckbutt said...

Melinda is an old-fashioned Western heroine!

Mike said...

Busch Stadium in St. Louis has had women charging into the men's rooms because of the long lines at the women's restroom. And when you gotta go you gotta go.

Cherdo said...

Ah, sistah...train wreck is so appropriate! LOL.

allenwoodhaven said...

Cowgirl Melinda always has something worthwhile to share. Excellent post!