Selecting a Boyfriend: A Teen's Guide

Being a teenaged girl can often result in one clashing against the status system, and its various ramifications. Yes, it can be a jungle out there, despite the best efforts of nice parents and the somewhat benign school systems. Yes, as the movies Mean Girls and Bring It On depicts, there are winners and losers; and while some lucky girls in this derby get to wear a collar of roses and brandish a gold cup in the winner's circle, there are numerous others out of the money.

Despite the wishes of most feminists, having a status boyfriend is part of the equation. Now this status is operationally defined in terms of him being really movie star handsome, having money, being a great athlete, and having charm and coolness comes into this multifaceted trait. Ideally, the Platonic ideal would be a heartthrob boyfriend who is also wealthy, has real style, and is the quarterback for the football team.

Faced with this teen-perceived fact of life, some may opt out and look for other rewards; maybe by being nonconformists, skater gurls, latter-day beats, or schoolyard religious. For many of them, they might be unattached; or go in for guys with different but less conventional selling points.

So, for those who choose not to play with the conventional rules, here are a few types  of guys to consider. 

1. The Band Nerd - Members of the high school band usually are fun, have musical tastes beyond what the band plays in concerts and at games, and are not whipped out tired after high school games so you and he can do something afterwards with him until the curfew hour.

2.  Member of the Track Team - While some football players run track in the Spring, most are participants in track only. Since few people see track as a status sport, there's not as much competition. Track guys are accessible; but often tired from practice.

3.  The Bad Boy - The subject of several 1960's classic oldie songs (Leader of the Pack, etc.), some may be strategically housebroken. A bonus: Some reflected glory adheres to you, especially if you're seen as taming him. A disadvantage is that they think so strongly in terms of sex.

4.  The Student Government Type - They are typically ambitious, with adulthood future goals in mind. Are you sure you want to pair off with someone who has a design to be a lawyer or a member of the legislature someday?

5.  The Sk8r Bio (Skater Boy) - He is feasible of you want to be a sk8r gurl. He is daring, a nonconformist, athletic in his odd way, and a member of a sort of cult. A disadvantage is that many tend not to spend much time with you. (For some, that might be seen as an advantage.) A disadvantage is that Sk8r bois are inclined to have gross tattoos.

6.  The Very Religious Guy - These belong to a mixed category. Some might be seen as nonconformists; especially if they differentiate themselves in dress. Some might provoke the school authorities, whether by leading an overt group prayer around the flagpole or injecting religion into a valedictory speech.  If he is Catholic, there may be an outside chance that he might be thinking of the priesthood in his future.

7.  Chess Nerd - Highly intelligent and focused. The disadvantage is that the only move he will make on you is Pawn - King Four.

8.  Drama Club Member - He's highly ambitious, with designs on moving to The Big Apple someday  and making it there. He's high maintenance, as he likes having an audience. And you're it!

9.  The Geek - If you can get past the unusual interests, they can be a lot of fun. Be a gamer girl!

10.  The Frat - Has status and ostentatious style. Has lots of guy friends that might encourage him into excesses. Be careful: you might become another mark on his scorecard and get the reputation to go with it.

11.  Any Guy Not Easily Categorized - The two of you are seen as not playing in the status game, and therefore both of you are seen as more mature.

Now you know. Each have his strengths and weaknesses. Choose wisely, mes amis!