Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Are Women Who Wear Body Paint as a Swimsuit Naked or Clothed?

The latest Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue managed to be a topic for the weekly coffee and beignet session of some New Orleans ladies needing their caffeine and sucrose fix, not to mention a light discussion. Seeing that several of them were attendees at St. Cletus's Parish, the topic came soon to morality.

Specifically, some of the models depicted had 'swimsuits' that were wholly or partly body painted. The question were, are they naked or clothed? Another one was is it sinful to wear body paint instead of a swimsuit?  The discussion was in general terms; but there was a sense that some were willing to break ground with this new sartorial trend. Specifically, Madeline Dupré, Missy Chauvin, and Clotilde Badeaux seemed particularly supportive. Suzette Picou said she tried that at work; but got fewer tips.

Just then, a Catholic priest, Father Tim Devereaux, and a Baptist minister, Brother Bob Bates, came in for their daily caffeine jolt. Despite being of different denominations, they enjoyed their times together and often discussed sports, politics, or other topics that we won't go into!

The girls saw them, and waved them over. The clerics were pleased to have coffee with some pretty ladies. The coffee session was entirely convivial and not stressful, so the body paint questions were raised. 

Both clerics owned up to having seen the latest SI swimsuit; and both missed the hypothetical nudity that had appeared. As a matter of fact, Brother Bob Bates admitted never reading the captions! Father Devereaux comment that he must be getting old, as he missed that tantalizing detail but he would go back tonight and inspect the rectory's copy which he gotten earlier to find suitable sermon material in it.

Brother Bob, thinking this was easy, answered the questions first: "Well, in the usual circumstances, they are not naked because they are wearing concealment in the right places. I think that being covered with paint in those same places serves as well. Both are opaque, so they're not naked. But what do you think, Tim?"

Father Devereaux answered, "That's the way I see it too. They're clothed; they're not immodestly dressed."

"So, apparently immodesty is in the eyes of the beholder?" asked Clotilde. 

"Yes, Clotilde. If you're likely to be offended, don't go to South Beach or St. Tropez," said Brother Bob.

Tim Devereaux decided that there is something to situational ethics after all.

Madeline said, "Cool! I'll surprise Pete when we go to Pass Christian next weekend!"








14 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

opaque paint is probably less revealing than some swimsuits. :)

Cloudia said...

Interesting, Angel. I like the dialogue

John Hill said...

An interesting moral question.
Perhaps I should pick up a copy and make my own determination.

Mike said...

I guess it depends on what the definition of the word 'covered' means. They're covered.... with paint!

Big Sky Heidi said...

If there's a multi-colored pattern to the body paint, it's hard to tell the difference!

Bilbo said...

During an obscenity trial some years ago, the famous "exotic dancer" Gypsy Rose Lee was asked whether she had been covered by anything during the performance in question. She thought for a minute, and said, "Workmen's Compensation." And I hope Father Tim finds his "suitable sermon material."

allenwoodhaven said...

A good story. You write so well!

Linda Kay said...

Sermon material, really?

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

I would say that we have a loophole there!

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer said...

Do you ever plan to wear a painted-on swimsuit, Angel!

Duckbutt said...

I enjoyed this story, the artwork, and the comments!

The Bastard King of England said...

That bunch is a group of morality hairsplitters.

Miss Andi said...

Haha love this, great topic 😊

Hell Hound said...

It's a great loophole.