Monday, February 1, 2016

How Mermaids Are Represented

Mermaids are not real. This is unfortunate because so many tales of encountering these fantastic creatures make it into a cryptozoological category by itself. And typically, how these are represented has fallen into specific fashions.

First of all, mermaids are usually represented as young females. Where do old mermaids go? Do they retire at 30; or do they hang around less favored settings, unlike some Hollywood actresses or singers who constantly make the news.

Their hair is usually long and flowing. No bobs, braids, or buzz cuts. Have you ever seen a buzz cut mermaid? And mermaids are mostly brunettes but with some blondes too. A few redheads, like Ariel in the Disney movie, may appear.  


Almost always are they depicted as wearing a top of some kind; often a pair of seashells. Like party girls wearing faux seashells for modesty's sake. Suffice it to say, topfree has not penetrated the ranks of mermaids, except possibly at South Beach.

And mermaids are usually depicted as ethereally thin; but a zaftig mermaid sometimes appears.

And there's teratology depictions of mermaids. Sometimes they're depicted with two tails, like on the old Starbucks' logo. We must assume that two-tailed mermaids are some kind of genetic mutation. It would certainly cause them to swim differently.

But my point is that maybe it's time for some mermaid diversity. Why not zaftig mermaids? Or mermaids with buns or even 1960's style bouffant 'dos? Not to mention racial diversity? And give some mermaids a Southern accent. Or, even a Jersey one!


At least there are no Republican or Democrat mermaids!



16 comments:

Bilbo said...

How do you know there are no Democratic or Republican mermaids? Republican mermaids would strongly advocate for the unrestricted possession of tridents; while Democratic mermaids would probably support the right of all mermaids to marry, say, centaurs.

Duckbutt said...

Bilbo has a point.

Mariette said...

There's also an absence of mermaids with breast implants.

Linda Kay said...

Such interesting subjects for your posts, my friend. My daughter who is very slim and trim, chose a mermaid wedding gown. It was beautiful on her, and she could pull it off. Then she found out she was going to be six months pregnant at the wedding, so we had to go for a less revealing number. So mermaids are obviously never pictured as pregnant.

John Hill said...

I sure that if mermaids were real creatures, they would have long ago been sought out, captured, enslaved and become extinct. However, it is an interesting myth and one has to wonder how it came to be. Perhaps a subject for another post...

Mike said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mike said...

It's possible that babies born with their legs fused together could have started the mermaid myth.
https://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&q=mermaid+syndrome&oq=&gs_l=

Cloudia said...

Fascinating conjectures, Angel

TexWisGirl said...

good one. :)

Dixie@dcrelief said...

>>..."At least there are no Republican or Democrat mermaids!"

Okay, that statement cracked me up. What - you mean there aren't any Southern Mermaids - you just popped my bubble!

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

You can never realize what's out on the Gulf Coast away from Panama City.

Bilbo said...

Back in college I took a short story writing class, and wrote a story about a fisherman who came up with a mermaid in his net. I wonder if I still have a copy of it lying around after all these years...

Big Sky Heidi said...

They have that mermaid show near Tampa. They are good!

Chuck Bear said...

John is probably right.

Maybe manatees were misidentified as mermaids. Oh the manatee!

Gorilla Bananas said...

Daryl Hannah never wore a top in Splash, although I don't remember getting a good look at her boobies. That long hair kept getting in the way.

allenwoodhaven said...

What a stupid decision. Fun read!