Bubbette Wrapping

Some of the more rambunctious residents in Beat 5*, Pearl River County, Mississippi were having an outdoor barbecue and beer blast, despite the fact that such doings were illegal in a dry county.  Oh well, the Sheriff's Deputies knew better than to borrow trouble by disrupting this great meeting of the minds.  Truth to tell, three of them were in attendance as partiers.

Yes, quite a few of the good old boys and good old girls had a few too many, and were feeling no pain.  Now these impromptu gatherings were firearm-free and conducted with an easy casualness.  I might add, they were racially mixed, as it is 2014 and there was recognition that all were barbecue and beer lovers at heart.  Besides, politicians could use the occasion to schmooze potential voters.  The only potentially dividing issue: red sauce versus vinegar-based sauce.

Anyway, a few got passed-out drunk and sprawled on the picnic table tops.  This necessitated the inconvenience of eating around the sprawlers, but Mississippians can be resourceful when it comes to beer and barbecue..

Now there is a rural prank played when that happens: It's called Bubba Wrapping.**  What people do is to use duct tape to wrap the sleeping person to the table top, often leaving him until he was released by the deputies, or a stray minister, or some kinfolk sent out to look for him!  

One of the partiers out for the count was Cordie May Wilson.  Now she was a hefty lass, she had an orchard of pecan trees and made pecan candy.  She liked to strip as she increasingly became intoxicated, planning to be a part-time stripper when the next county fair came around.  As a matter of fact, she was down only to be very basics, not overencumbered with clothing.

So, Jim-Bob Varnado said, instead of having a bubba wrapping, why not have a bubbette wrapping?  When he explained the concept three or four times, the others were game.  After all, Cordie May would be the first one so wrapped and would go down in history as the first bubette wrapped.

But they had a problem: Cordie May had done some stripping; and her friends did not want the duct tape stuck to her bare skin; and anyway, they didn't want to see Cordie May wind up in the County Jail in Poplarville for indecent exposure.  That would be antithetical to old-fashioned Beat 5 backwoods loyalty!  So they sort of dressed her, then duct taped her to the table top so that she was fit to be released when sober.  And no one took pictures with their cell phones, either!

So that was how bubbette wrapping came about.  The Magnolia State acquired a new custom, thanks to the good ole boys and girls of Beat 5, Pearl River County.

*A beat is a county subdivision used in Mississippi.
**Done only in the boondocks.