Friday, June 20, 2014

Swim Suit Anxiety

In general, I don't worry overly much about the appropriateness of my swimwear, since it is within the normal range of acceptability, except perhaps in Utah.  However, recently I experienced a turnabout that caused me to think about things from a different perspective.

The occasion was a trip to a pool party; and I was invited by a guy I know casually and I accepted.  It was a nice gathering, and most of the people were convivial.  A few drinks helped things along.

However, when it came time to actually go swimming, and we disrobed down to our swimsuits, I was startled with the sight: my companion was wearing a very brief, unlined swimsuit!  As brief a swimsuit as males could wear publicly, and it really did not conceal any secrets at all!  Too much information, considering our brief acquaintance.

My first thought was, "My God, does he know how much he's showing?"  (Yes!)  My second one was, "Oh please God, let that thing have a back to it!"  (It did.)  I was totally conflicted: one side of me viewed him as having a perfect right to flaunt his body if he desired however tacky it might seem; but the other side of me was totally distracted and embarrassed by the overt display of his crotch.

While in the Ladies' Room, one of the other women commented to me, "Angel, your date's definitely proud of the size of his package."  And there was speculation on how it would perform in service, as ribald a topic as might be discussed in such a setting.  I was uncomfortable until he finally put his outer garments on.  I wonder also, if I should dress more conservatively for the beach or pool.

Actually, I remembered an other occasion in which, while I was walking, a runner approached who was wearing an equivalent-sized swimsuit and no shirt.

It was one of the professors.  Definitely not dressed as at the campus.  I thought he was underdressed for street wear.  Proud of his physique, I guess. 

I have a bit of a prudish side, I guess.  Therefore, no picture today.

Okay, I wrote this about two weeks ago.  Since, then, this article came out in Slate.

Apparently, he's in favor of speedos.


Juliette said...

Why not look on it as a preview of coming attractions?

Bilbo said...

A lady I once knew said that men's speedos were okay unless they confirmed the wearer's religion, and not just his sex.

Big Sky Heidi said...

You should like speedos. It allows you to be an unobtrusive pecker checker.

Anemone said...

My ex-husband got a speedo once. We had a fite because I forbade him to wear it in public.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Bilbo, sometimes there's too much information!

Heidi, the temptation is there.

Juliette, with the first date, it's kind of early.

Mike said...

Oh to be 40 years younger and be speedo material.

Anonymous said...

How long before it's okay to wear a speedo on a date?

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

The Slate article was so funny and bizarre!