Friday, August 9, 2013

The Perils of Wearing Bra Inserts

While it's not nice to fool Mother Nature, sometimes the old gal can turn a blind eye on certain kinds of fudging going on.

Whatever our possible physical gifts, we are confronted with an irreducible biological fact: guys pay more attention to those females with larger breasts.  This can be a problem if you're in the A- or B-cup territory, especially if you're an adolescent.  Some deal with this by getting breast implants; but a good set of silicone implants can set you back about $6000 - $7000 plus the period of recuperation. 

Teen boys are so obvious.  College males try to be more circumspect when they look you over.  They're not always successful in doing so; but they do make an effort.  Credit that to socialization.

Anyway, when I first matriculated to a university, I decided to make a great impression by wearing a chic sundress on the first day, and to technically augment my figure by wearing silicone bra inserts (about $40 at nice set).  (I needed a larger bra to support these store-bought ta-tas!) 

I got noticed.  I enjoyed every bit of it that day; Tee Angel (Little Angel) at last appeared womanly!  So I staged an encore for the second and third days.  This was decidedly good.  I thought, why not get some more cute, sexy bras and dress provocatively on a regular basis?

But people in their late teens are not noted for long-range planning.  I realized that I was cornered into a you-can-be-looked-at-but-you-better-not-be-touched position!  Do I have to paint you a picture?

So I dropped down to less obvious cleavage.  Perhaps my change was not too obvious, but I returned to my former level of prominence.

Now some of these silicone bra inserts can be worn with swimsuits.  While they are affixed with adhesive, when some adhesives become excessively moist, they can become loose.  This is a design flaw.

Megan, a friend of mine, didn't take that into account when wearing hers while using the water slide at a water park.  Now wearing a bikini in such a setting can be hazardous to begin with; if you should do one of those thrill rides, there's the slight risk of a swimsuit malfunction.  Some idle guys hang around with that in mind.

My thought (based on personal experience) is to double-knot; but that it's not so bad if you lose North Carolina; it's more of a problem if you lose South Carolina.

Anyway, returning to Megan: she was wearing a string bikini with her inserts underneath, feeling safe and secure on the water slide for having doubly knotted both the bottom and the bra.  Whoooosh!  Splash!

She underestimated the force of the cascading of the water.  Her external swimsuit stayed in place; but one of the silicone inserts came out and the other shifted position!  What made it worse was that we didn't notice right away; but the guy supervising at the top of the water slide apparently did and stared intently!

After the second time down, we noticed:  "Megan, your boobs are cattywampus!"

So I had to spend twenty minutes in the pool looking for her missing bra insert while she stood around wearing a towel.

Sometimes it is worthwhile to read the instructions with any commercial product!


Meredith said...

I think that most have tried inserts at one time or another, but found them inconvenient. They don't do that much.

Big Sky Heidi said...

North Carolina and South Carolina. A nice simile.

MarkD60 said...

Well now, that was informative,
I've been told thatI'm a bad starer, but I can't help it. I try,

Randomly Rachel said...

I love water slides! But I always wear an athletic maillot for security's sake. I don't like losing the top at all; ittakes away from the fun and carefreeness.

Mike said...

Life is a series of 'live and learns'.

Bilbo said...

I believe the male equivalent of the bra inserts is the strategically placed roll of quarters, although I think it would be very uncomfortable. Not to mention painful if it fell out onto your bare toes.

TexWisGirl said...

ha ha. :)

Brandi said...

It's so much safer to wear a swimsuit with built-in padding. They look better, too.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Meredith -- You have a point there.

Heidi -- Thanks

Mark -- Just get in the water, it's fine

Bilbo -- Now that would hurt! Not recommended.

Mike -- I guess so

Rachel -- Some like the thrill of living on the edge

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Have you ever lost North or South Carolina, Angel?

Svejk said...

Girls who want to show their tits usually find a coy way to do it. Some love having an audience.

Cloudia said...

You are a delight!


ALOHA from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral

The Mistress of the Dark said...

All the padding in the world can't help those of us build like prepubescent boys :(