Spotted Richard?

While browsing among the import foods in World Market, I happened upon cans of something called "Spotted Dick." 

Curiosity got the best of me; and I discovered that it is an English pudding made of suet and currants or raisins (hence, the "spotted" in the food product name). It's usually served with custard.

English food, while often being known for being subpedestrian in its flavor, occasionally does make up for it with original names. Hence Bangers, Welsh Rarebit, Stargazy Pie*, or Toad in the Hole.

I surmised that even the taste-challenged English would have become aware of the possible double entendre nature of this food name; and I discovered that this was so.

The Flintshire County Council seriously proposed renaming it "Spotted Richard!" Now that terminology would be acceptable for use in American restaurants! Spotted Richard, anyone?

*The little fish heads put me off.

Spotted Dick AKA Spotted Richard

What to Do After Sex?

The bi-weekly gathering of les femmes of St. Cletus's Parish in the New Orleans coffeehouse sometimes has conversations that run into the borderline risqué. Let's face it: this is partly due to the inherent interest in some topics and also raising these helps to egg on some more reticent members among the coffee-drinkers to reveal more about themselves than they planned.

Okay, the topic that came up for the day was what to do after sex. Needless to say, both the sexually active conversational participants and the celibate ones found this interesting! One reason why this topic is intrinsically interesting is because some in the group occasionally reporting having  problems with post-coital tristesse. Bonne nuit tristesse! Alas, Galen got it wrong when he wrote that "every animal is sad after coitus except for the human female and the rooster." One wonders about his research sampling methods . . . . Were his partners accomplished in faking orgasms, or happy it was over? 

Anyway, the two usual suspects for post-coital activities, sleeping and cuddling came up right away. Missy Chauvin pointed out that some guys were just not that good at cuddling, and that maybe cuddling lessons should be added to the college curriculum!* That got a rise, to be sure! Still, some said that cuddling is a great way to come down afterwards. 

Also mentioned was that old reliable, Netflix.

Hilda Walspurgis recommended that, if you feel energized after sex, then that's a perfect time to do some house cleaning! Nothing like vacuuming to carry on the feeling!

Missy reported that having great sex made her feel like practicing basketball. She was the reigning H-O-R-S-E champion of the Parish! This explains the popularity of the N.B.A.

Along those same lines, Clotilde Badeaux said that she would immediately segue into her yoga regime. Clara Thibodaux asked, "What about the guy you were canoodling with?"

Her response was, "I don't know. The last one left while I was doing down dog and farted!"

Speaking of cleaning, neat freak Marie d'Aquin said that she always took a shower immediately afterwards. And it saves water to shower with a friend. When asked if the guy she had sex with is a friend, she replied, "Well, I do give him a performance review before asking him to join me!"

Bernadette Richard raised an interesting possibility: spend some time afterwards on a post-performance review. Clearly, she was influenced by some of the new thinking in business! And, who knows, maybe it might increase the enjoyment of future encounters . . . . especially for those not following the short-term (hookup) mating strategy.**

Madeline cautiously inquired whether the same sort of activity choices would apply after making out. Immediately this caused some of the gathering to wonder whether their assumptions regarding her and Officer Pete were valid. Not that anyone had the nerve to ask!

Suzette Picou, AKA the Existential Stripper, said that after sex she would then make a pot of coffee. This mystified the good ladies; but she put it in terms to re-priming the pump for an encore!

Madeline asked, like a typical Orleanian, "Do you serve it straight or café au lait and use real chicory coffee or that weak stuff that tourists drink?" 

*That would be a real plus for the P.E. Department!

**A concept that you can credit or blame evolutionary psychology for.

Piling On

Among the various things that the striped shirt guys take exception to in football are piling on or unnecessary roughness. It's symptomatic of recent times that in the political or social realm too many people are ready to let fly with both barrels over damned near everything! And assuming the worst in others.

Okay, I get it. Many people are disappointed with what they think is the direction that the country is going in; and they have real life problems that are hard to get the proper handle on. Frankly, terrorism, job prospects, the fragile health care system, are real enough and scare me too. And, who knows, maybe some people are not getting laid often enough? 

But there's also a tendency that many people have to jump on others' remarks with both feet gleefully. Godwin's Law, or the reductio ad Hitlerium, is not entirely a myth.  

The reason why on-line forums sometimes degenerate into name-calling, and our national discourse is often filled with acrimony is because some people go through life loaded for bear with the least provocation. It would be good if they could dial it down a bit. And their digestive systems would be better served if they would just chill!

This also applies to the two or three major national newspapers. In spades!

So remember that, whatever your Political Flavor of the Month happens to be: there are good Republicans and good Democrats that also want to come up with real, practical solutions to problems. Demonizing the perceived opposition is lazy thinking, in my opinion. Likewise, whatever religion you might profess, other people professing different beliefs may have a lot in common with you.

And, to put things in a SEC frame of mind: there are even good Ole Miss fans!

An odd cartoon with a timely message:
Pride and Prejudice seen from a non-Austen perspective.

A Surprising Yooper Term

The term "Yooper" refers to a resident of Michigan's Upper Peninsula. 

Going into the northern peninsula of Michigan is an odd experience of sorts, as it's far less populated and manages to be colder than the mitten part of the state. (Which did not vote for Mitt Romney, by the way.) Anyway, this Yooper part of that northern state has some unique vocabulary and cuisine items.

In our travel across the Upper Peninsula, we were surprised to see cafes offer pasties on the menu. Needless to say, this caused us a little bit of confusion. Where we came from, a pasty referred to a paste-on nipple cover, such as worn by desnuda performers and those who want to go braless without being obvious about it.

Still, some sex shops sell edible panties; did edible pasties happen to make the menu in Northern Michigan?

Woman shamelessly flaunting her pasties.

We soon discovered that in the Upper Peninsula, the term 'pasty' refers to a meat pie: a concoction consisting of minced beef or pork, potatoes, onions, carrots, rutabaga, and other vegetables baked into a hand-held pie. It had its origins from Cornwall, in England.  Here's a sample recipe. (Kind of like a calzone.)

We tried some; they were very good, despite the strange rutabaga vegetable! 

A pasty, a mainstay of Cornish cuisine that is
also popular on the Upper Peninsula

Just a further remark: the wearable kind of pasty is pronounced "pay-stee." The edible kind is pronounced "pass-tee."

An Economic Reason for Opposing Secession

The current crisis regarding Catalonian secession from Spain looks like it's handled in a heavy-handed manner by the Spanish government: a suspension of local government, calling out the funny hatted police, jailing some of the opposition, and a call for new elections so the Catalonians will do it the right way this time. (The right way, according to Madrid, that is.) 

Some people from north of the Mason-Dixon line point out, individual southern states receive far more from the Federal government in terms of benefits than the same government realizes with regard to taxes. To give an example, Mississippi costs more to have around than it pays off in revenues for the rest of the country. Looking at it as if it was a store in a chain, it would be one that produces negative revenues. Using that criterion, that state seceding would have little impact on the rest of the country. Well, maybe northerners desiring to go to New Orleans might have to go through Mississippi customs. I'm sure that if Mississippi had border guards, they could be as inefficient as in anyplace else!  

But, you know, the same could be said for several other states. Suppose the inhabitants of Vermont decided to go it alone; most of the rest of America would hardly notice. Well, maybe the leaf-peepers would have to go through customs, and Ben and Jerry's ice cream would be an import item now. 

The same can be said for South Dakota. Hey, you only need to see Mt. Rushmore only once to be satisfied. And Georgia has its own version of landscape statuary gigantism: Stone Mountain. 

Nevada? It's an easily available place for Californians wanting to misbehave: just a half-day's drive from L.A.!

So why quibble if Mississippi or Vermont or South Dakota or Nevada were to pass ordinances of secession?

Well, it's like this, folks. By allowing them to do it, a precedent is set allowing other states to follow suit if things are not going their way.  And this might include states that punch in a pretty high weight class.

Imagine the impact if California or Texas or New York were to walk away with their marbles and go the independence route. (Do kids still play marbles now, or am I using a folk expression? I must confess to being a marbles virgin.)  Florida, Ohio, North Carolina, Washington, and a few others also bring a lot to the economic table.

Well, this is exactly what Spain was looking at if Catalonia were to go. Spain probably could spare Basque Country with little difficulty: that might even solve some problems for them. 

But if an economic and industrial section like Catalonia were to say "adios," this would squeeze Madrid in the huevos!  So, in a nutshell, Spain had to react negatively to Catalonia going independent in that fashion, as crass as that sounds.

And, following this same logic, why can't we take the opportunity to dump Mississippi or Vermont? Because of California possibly getting the same idea. 

The Lewd Dude's Advice on Scoring with Women

al·go·rithm - alɡəˌriT͟Həm/ noun.

1. a process or set of rules to be followed in calculations or other problem-solving operations, especially by a computer.

Some guys wish there was an algorithm for scoring with women. Others, like Harvey W., try the lewd, crude, and totally disgusting approach.

The Lewd Dude (our Gentleman from Indiana*) has his own ideas:

"Hello, guys. I'm Milton, your friendly computer store techie and guru on all that is important. In addition, I'm a philosopher and a student of human nature. Life can be confusing, sometimes. Let me help you navigate through the shoals of what you really want: seducing women! They don't call me the Lewd Dude for nothing, you know!

"It's all a matter of learning the algorithms. Yes, it really breaks down into knowing how and when to do it.

"First of all, don't appear to be too interested in them. Women like a challenge. If you seem lukewarm to them at first, they feel slighted and tested; they want to be reassured that they are really hot numbers! So be interested in other things, initially.

"Dress up. Sorry, bros; but slobs rarely make any headway with the ladies. That's clean, ironed shirt, clean pants, the who nine yards! 

"Smile at them; but make it a short one of recognition. Don't give them the 200-watt full grin! You want them to want more.

"Listen to her when she speaks. And appear knowledgeable and confident.

"Women like guys with a sense of humor. But keep it in the PG- range; maybe a mild test of one or two in the R- range. Anyway, don't make it obvious that you have designs of getting into her panties! Not until later; but somehow give her the impression that you were tempted by her irresistible charms!

Invite her for coffee, or perhaps a dessert or on some seemingly mild yet quirky type of activity; like going to feed the sea birds or something.

"Go through a routine of pointing something out. But in the process, touch her lightly on a shoulder or mid-back. (Coincidently, you might check out that she's wearing a bra! If she isn't, consider this to be a green light!)

"Find some excuse to nibble on her neck or ear lobe. 

"And there's a clincher: bring her a gift of chocolate-covered strawberries! Now that's ringing her bells on two levels! 

"Spread this out over several weeks. Leave her intrigued; and wanting more. Now that's how to score with style!"

So much for the Lewd Dude's advice. Some advisors are all hat and no cowboy, as Cowgirl Melinda would say. 

*Also the title of an old book which I haven't read.

The Eyes Don't Have It

What do men fixate on when looking at a woman's face?

Research by Dr. Geoff Beattie of the University of Manchester found that men, upon first encountering a woman, would spend about half of the first 10 seconds looking at her lips upon first meeting her provided she's wearing red lipstick.

Men fixated on lips wearing pink lipstick for 6.7 seconds on average; and 7.3 for those with red lipstick. Unfortunately for Goth girls like Dethany in the comic strip On the Fast Track, he did not collect data on dark lipstick. 

If women were wearing lipstick, then men spent only about 0.95 seconds looking at her eyes and 0.85 seconds looking at her hair.

If the woman being viewed was not wearing lipstick, then the guys focused on her lips only for about 2.2 seconds. The moral of the story is to wear a little lipstick! Maybe they might pay less attention to what's below the neck too!

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/fashion/red-lips-hold-mens-gaze-longer-than-nude-ones-2150543.html