al·go·rithm - alɡəˌriT͟Həm/ noun.
- a process or set of rules to be followed in calculations or other problem-solving operations, especially by a computer.
Some guys wish there was an algorithm for scoring with women. Others, like Harvey W., try the lewd, crude, and totally disgusting approach.
The Lewd Dude (our Gentleman from Indiana*) has his own ideas:
"Hello, guys. I'm Milton, your friendly computer store techie and guru on all that is important. In addition, I'm a philosopher and a student of human nature. Life can be confusing, sometimes. Let me help you navigate through the shoals of what you really want: seducing women! They don't call me the Lewd Dude for nothing, you know!
"It's all a matter of learning the algorithms. Yes, it really breaks down into knowing how and when to do it.
"First of all, don't appear to be too interested in them. Women like a challenge. If you seem lukewarm to them at first, they feel slighted and tested; they want to be reassured that they are really hot numbers! So be interested in other things, initially.
"Dress up. Sorry, bros; but slobs rarely make any headway with the ladies. That's clean, ironed shirt, clean pants, the who nine yards!
"Smile at them; but make it a short one of recognition. Don't give them the 200-watt full grin! You want them to want more.
"Listen to her when she speaks. And appear knowledgeable and confident.
"Women like guys with a sense of humor. But keep it in the PG- range; maybe a mild test of one or two in the R- range. Anyway, don't make it obvious that you have designs of getting into her panties! Not until later; but somehow give her the impression that you were tempted by her irresistible charms!
Invite her for coffee, or perhaps a dessert or on some seemingly mild yet quirky type of activity; like going to feed the sea birds or something.
"Go through a routine of pointing something out. But in the process, touch her lightly on a shoulder or mid-back. (Coincidently, you might check out that she's wearing a bra! If she isn't, consider this to be a green light!)
"Find some excuse to nibble on her neck or ear lobe.
"And there's a clincher: bring her a gift of chocolate-covered strawberries! Now that's ringing her bells on two levels!
"Spread this out over several weeks. Leave her intrigued; and wanting more. Now that's how to score with style!"
So much for the Lewd Dude's advice. Some advisors are all hat and no cowboy, as Cowgirl Melinda would say.
*Also the title of an old book which I haven't read.
The Lewd Dude (our Gentleman from Indiana*) has his own ideas:
"Hello, guys. I'm Milton, your friendly computer store techie and guru on all that is important. In addition, I'm a philosopher and a student of human nature. Life can be confusing, sometimes. Let me help you navigate through the shoals of what you really want: seducing women! They don't call me the Lewd Dude for nothing, you know!
"It's all a matter of learning the algorithms. Yes, it really breaks down into knowing how and when to do it.
"First of all, don't appear to be too interested in them. Women like a challenge. If you seem lukewarm to them at first, they feel slighted and tested; they want to be reassured that they are really hot numbers! So be interested in other things, initially.
"Dress up. Sorry, bros; but slobs rarely make any headway with the ladies. That's clean, ironed shirt, clean pants, the who nine yards!
"Smile at them; but make it a short one of recognition. Don't give them the 200-watt full grin! You want them to want more.
"Listen to her when she speaks. And appear knowledgeable and confident.
"Women like guys with a sense of humor. But keep it in the PG- range; maybe a mild test of one or two in the R- range. Anyway, don't make it obvious that you have designs of getting into her panties! Not until later; but somehow give her the impression that you were tempted by her irresistible charms!
Invite her for coffee, or perhaps a dessert or on some seemingly mild yet quirky type of activity; like going to feed the sea birds or something.
"Go through a routine of pointing something out. But in the process, touch her lightly on a shoulder or mid-back. (Coincidently, you might check out that she's wearing a bra! If she isn't, consider this to be a green light!)
"Find some excuse to nibble on her neck or ear lobe.
"And there's a clincher: bring her a gift of chocolate-covered strawberries! Now that's ringing her bells on two levels!
"Spread this out over several weeks. Leave her intrigued; and wanting more. Now that's how to score with style!"
So much for the Lewd Dude's advice. Some advisors are all hat and no cowboy, as Cowgirl Melinda would say.
*Also the title of an old book which I haven't read.
6 comments:
That's a man with a plan!
For some situations, there is no fits-all-situations algorithm. Being friendly, kind, interested, interesting, and clean usually help, though.
Use common sense instead of arrant stupidity.
And dont act like a dick.
Ahh yes...suck her in and then it's all about "pull my finger", smiling when you fart, never listening....ever again but saying you are and, after sex, yawn, burp, roll over and fall asleep
Dress up? How far up? If I wear a shirt do I get service?
Interesting, Angel
If I start nibbling, shouldn't I warn her first that I am hungry? How far should I take this cannibalism?
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