The Prophetess Weighs in on Celibate Clergy

It's a hard time for faithful Catholics, with all the bad news of misconduct of priests doing awful things with children, and it has cast a total pall of discontent and suspicion even among the fervent Catholics such as the ladies of St. Cletus's Altar Society in New Orleans.  Now it seems that our Prophetess, despite some  rough edges and an unpromising start, has managed despite her youthful status to become imbedded in the doings of her church in addition to her official street roles as a preacher, traiteur and occasional equine handicapper!  She's very much the modern gal: she can balance several roles with no trouble.  Nevertheless, she had been comfortable being in the background.  And, believe me, cher, the ladies of the Altar Society were glad for that!

Once they had a meeting, with the guest speaker being some big muckety-muck Monseigneur from the Archdiocese.  Now this is the way that the Catholic Church works, the Archbishop sends some minion with official status to mend fences, as needed.  It's as if the sight of an avuncular chubby man wearing a red trim on his clerical garb will cause the ladies to swoon!  Ah, but that was strictly old church.  The ladies of St. Cletus somehow missed the memorandum.

The discussion that the unsuspecting Monseigneur was asked to moderate was on clerical celibacy; and the official line is that it's a good thing, not to be changed because it makes priests special!  Anyway, it was originally touted as a discussion, but it had a planned agenda.  It was to go to a specific destination like the St. Charles Avenue streetcar does. 

But in the course of discussion, our girl felt the spirit move her . . . . She offered her perspective as a prophetess.  Oh, oh!  Storm warning!

"Ah, mes amis and Mister Monseigneur . . . . [Madeline drifts back and forth from French to English when excited.]  The problem with the loss of priestly vocations, and the pedophile priests . . . . this is part of a big picture.  The problem, I see it, is that we do not get many new priests of quality and many that we have become, er, cagou because they do not have proper wives to steer them!  And anyway, why not have women priests as well?  Or even a woman bishop?  It is the celibacy thing, that is the cause!  If the young priests would get the sex thing out of their system at an early age, and the priesthood made more attractive for normal guys, then they would come.  At least the ones that are okay with wearing priest's clothes!"

The alarmed Monseigneur was alarmed at this naked display of nonorthodox opinion.  Should he pull out a crucifix to ward off this possible heretic?  He tried to save things by falling back on the usual saws about adherence to sacred vows, but Madeline went on.  And some of the other ladies jumped in too, including those regarded by their beleagured priest as "safe."  A few might have even dreamed about being a Mrs. Priest!

Her priest shuddered and thought, "This is going to be a three Jamieson night, for sure.  Maybe I'll need four.  And I'll get a summons from the Archbishop tomorrow, if not later tonight!"

Madeline:  "It is true.  Men need wives and girlfriends to keep them sane.  Having a wife not only to sleep with from time to time but to interact with in solving the everyday tasks of a marriage will give a priest perspective.  Not just for the time they spend in bed -- but that is a sacrament also! -- but to keep him from going to seed.  How many single middle-aged men still keep up appearances?  Not many, I tell you de trooth!  And how can you give a woman marriage or birth control advice if you know zero about women?  Talk about the blind attempting to lead people who can sort of see their way."

Some members of the Altar Society had the uncharitable thoughts about the nature of Madeline the Prophetess's relationship with that nice policeman Officer Pete, but that could be a matter of Confession for them; or they could maybe put the priest on Madeline's case!  Still, they began to wonder privately whether Madeline might have some good ideas there.  After all, middle-aged priests can be so obstinate and know-it-all sometimes; they need someone to smooth the rough edges!

Also, they wanted Madeline to voice her views on birth control to the Archdiocese!

*Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité, et Soutien-Gorges"

Several years ago, being loose in Paris for a day with some friends, we tried out our hand at shopping primarily on the Rue de Rennes but also on some side streets. There we found one: an example of fabled French lingerie shop, combining risqué with the beautiful; the charming with the practical. How could we resist: why not pick up some nonedible souvenirs that probably should not displayed upon our return to the USA, except by curious customs office functionaries who are detailed to prevent contraband from entering the country. Now this was a place where the mesdames and madamoiselles of fashion, the exotic dancers, and the unfortunate husbands seeking drachenfutter to appease their irate spouses could gravitate to. And three Americans in search of adventure and the Platonic ideal of undies (did the real Plato contemplate such matters?) looked into the den of risqué as well.

We entered into a Temple of Bras. It was a daunting place, befitting being housed in a 19th century building: did we stray to where the showgirls shopped? I'm sure there are the places like that in Paris. Now the proprietress, a formidable middle-aged woman, offered to help. I mumbled something about my sizes, and asked what would she recommend. She said, "Ah, you are Americian; we size you differently here." So she produced a metric tape measure and proceeded to map the topography of Angélique to a greater degree than before! She was charming; she spent a lot of time fussing over us, showing us some examples, assured us that those wispy and lacy confections were the proper mode for us.  "Ces jolies seins!  Cela le montrera correctement."  And it was true: they were both chic and comfortable. We were in undie bliss, and bought several.

Memo to self: Not to let my older sister Jessica see them. She already suspects that I am past wicked and would be shocked enough to forbid her children to see me and to do a flying novena to pray for my immortal soul! It was a hit with shopping.

When we looked back after leaving the store, the building had a partiotic message on the stone facade: Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité. And we felt that Soutien-Gorges (Bras) should also be included.

Later on we found Fachon's and got beaucoup chocolate.  It is a notion widely accepted in Paris that bra-shopping and chocolate naturally go together.

The Louisiana Senate Refuses to Allow 'Chicken Boxing'

As incredible as it may seem, a Louisiana State Senator actually brought up a bill that would make "chicken boxing" legal.  This "sport," very similar to cockfighting but with the birds wearing rubber gloves over their talons, was offered as a harmless, bloodless sport by Sen Elbert Guillory (R- Eunice).

Louisiana outlawed cockfighting in 2008 -- the last state in the country to do so.  Cockfighting is a disgusting enterprise; cruel to the birds, debasing to the humans who want to watch such a spectacle, and a blot on the state.  Outlawing cockfighting was long overdue. 

I could not help but see this bill as a deliberate attempt to circumvent the anti-cockfight legislation by creating some exceptions.  And, of course, when sheriff is not around, the protective gloves might be removed from the birds and they can fight by using their own talons.

Fortunately, the Louisiana Senate saw it this way too: it turned down the bill by a vote of 29-8.  For once, more level-headed members of the Legislature prevailed.

I did a cursory on-line search.  No state allows bullfighting.  (Thank heaven for small favors.)  In all states, dog fighting is a felony offense.  One state, Alabama, even specifically has outlawed bear wrestling.  I wondered whether this was a misspelling, as in forbidding unclothed individuals from wrestling, whether in a ring or in a pool of Jello.  No, it forbade ursine participants from doing so. 

While people tend to associate cockfighting and dog fighting with the backwoods South, it does occur in other areas as well.  It is important to ensure that the anti-animal fighting laws are not modified so as to provide loopholes in which those disgusting practices can continue.






http://www.nola.com/politics/index.ssf/2014/04/louisiana_senate_rejects_chick.html

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/la-senate-refuses-protect-chicken-boxing-23231566

Catahoula Leopard Dog

The Catahoula Leopard Dog is the official state dog of Louisiana.  It is an old breed; said to be partly descended from dogs that came with Hernando de Soto.

It's commonly referred to as the Catahoula hound or Catahoula cur.  This breed is highly intelligent and energetic. While Catahoulas are assertive, they are not aggressive by nature. They have a need to take charge of their pack, whether it consists of other dogs or humans.   Catahoulas in general are very even tempered; but tend to be dominant if allowed to be.  They require firmness, 

Catahoulas are very serious about their job when they are working dogs. Specifically, they can make good boar hunters; but are also especially good at herding cattle or pigs.  They make a good family dog but require extensive daily interaction with their owner.  Specifically, longer runs or walks is a nearly daily requirement. 

When a Catahoula is raised with children, the dog assumes the responsibility to look after and protect those children. Many owners will say that the Catahoula owns them and they can be insistent when it comes to meal times, play time, or do other activities. Catahoulas are protective and a natural alarm dog. They will alert one to anything out of the ordinary.

With a Catahoula you cannot forget that you have a high energy, personable dog.  This is not one for apartment living, but one that needs to run and be all the dog he or she can be. 

A Kinder and Gentler Tea Party?

The time for indignant squawking passes very quickly; some of the few cooler heads in the Tea Party crowd began to realize that their message was losing its possible attraction; and getting the support of the mainstream wins elections (except maybe in Chicago.)

Anyway, some Tea Party supporters enlisted a group of consultants to advise the Party as how to best get their message across. 

Here are a few salient points by the study group:

1.  Avoid any appearance of extremism.  It's true: some people do get a tad worried when some redneck shows up carrying a placard reading, "We came unarmed this time."  It causes them to wonder what they will bring next time.  Spatulas?  [One problem: getting the rank and file of the Tea Party to act uniformly mild would be like herding cats!]

2.  While the name of the present-day Tea Party alludes to an episode in history in which the flavoring of Boston Harbor was temporarily improved, it little becomes members to show up to Tea Party events while wearing tricorned hats festooned with tea bags.

3.  And, never, under any circumstances, serve English Breakfast tea, no matter how Anglophile you might be.

4.  As a matter of discretion, members might re-think the use of the Gadsden flag, with the unfortunate rattlesnake symbolism.  Accordingly, we suggest some more cuddly creature as a substitute, such as a hamster or ferret.  Or, if the membership is attached to cold-blooded venomous creatures, at least try to mollify this image with a jokey, self-effacing, or amusing representation.

   

True Facts and Made-Up Facts

Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
               --John Adams

John Adams had it right.  But what about facts that are sand castles in someone's mind?

Lately, there's been a series of alarming reports that the NCAA Basketball Tournament, AKA March Madness, would cost American businesses  1.7 Billion dollars in lost productivity!  Other articles of this ilk are more conservative; quoting amounts of lost productivity in the 100-200 million range.

But, where do those numbers come from?  It raises up the bogeyman of thousands, if not millions, of employed minions slipping off, spending time filling out their brackets, reviewing the prospects of the teams, turning into the games, and spending a lot of time around the water cooler in talking about the games, and generally being obsessed about basketball.

There are a number of people who are disposed to be impressed by 'facts' if they have numbers cited as well.  But they are quite credulous when it comes to the source of those numerical 'facts.'

Undoubtedly, some people did their brackets while on company time; and there are occasional checks into the games from time to time; but few are likely to undergo March Madness to such an extent as to stop working.

A disclaimer.   I filled out a bracket.  It took me about a half-hour.  Actually, I tended to prefer more heavily the higher-seeded teams.  I chose only one of the four teams that ultimately made the Final Four (Florida).  So I'm not a heavy hitter in basketball lore, by any means.

And I expect most people aren't.  Anyway, the first weekend had 64 teams, last weekend started with 16 teams, and we're down now to four.  We can expect a corresponding drop off in interest with each successive phase.

Maybe the problem is not as serious as some would see upon first glance.


http://www.nbcnews.com/id/23708504/ns/business-sports_biz/t/b-lost-work-thats-march-madness/#.UzmWeSxOXIU

What's His Number? and the Coolidge Effect

The romantic comedy What's Your Number humorously raised the issue of how many sexual partners should a woman have before she's sure of finding Mr. Right, as if it simply involves how well he rings her bell!  Anyway, without giving the plot away too much, it seems that 20 is the magic number for women. 

But let's turn the tables on our putative Mr. Rights.  How much experience should they have?  And, to further raise an issue, would having too much experience turn Mr. Right into Mr. Wrong?

In the psychology of sex, there is a phenomenon called the Coolidge Effect.  Unlike the other effects in science, it has a humorous story, perhaps a joke behind it:

The President and Mrs. Coolidge were being shown separately around an experimental government farm. When Mrs. Coolidge observed the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, “Dozens of times each day.” Mrs. Coolidge said, “Tell that to the President when he comes by.”

Upon being told, President asked, “Same hen every time?” The reply was, “Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time.” President: “Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge.”

This Coolidge Effect refers to a renewed sexual interest in a male when provided an opportunity to mate with new, receptive females.  So where does the question of 'What's His Number' come in?

My thought is that if a male has too widespread experience, then he is going to more quickly tire of his lawfully wedded wife, and seek amusements elsewhere.  After all, he would have had a similar history as the hyperactive rooster in the Coolidge story, experiencing a new potential partner with renewed arousal.

Well, I can think of two possible reasons.  First, there may be an impact of the relationship between changes in arousal and motivation.  This is often expressed as an inverted-U function and is called the Yerkes-Dodson law.  According to this law, as arousal level increases (like due to more sexual experience), performance improves, but only to a point.  Beyond that point further increases in arousal resulting from additional sexual experiences would lead to deteriorations in performance.  Having some experience does make arousal more easy, and thus would enhance performance.  But too much may lead to a jaded performance with time.

The other is that I would hypothesize that guys with a huge amount of experience would be more likely to become tired of their marital partner, and be more likely to stray.  After all, having had a history of many sexual conquests would give him an appetite for new ones. 

Thus some experience might be advantageous for optimal marital performance, but too much experience would result in circumstances that pose long-term problems.

So getting back to the experimental farm in the Coolidge story, I suppose it might have been good for the rooster for a while; but would not have much to recommend it as far as the hens were concerned.*

*Understandably, my sympathies are with the hens.