Saturday, March 7, 2015

Proof that the Vikings Discovered Texas

Only die-hard Columbus fans hold to the notion that Chris Columbus discovered America. Well, he may have been the first European to discover San Salvador, if you discount the Caribs who probably thought when seeing him, "There goes the neighborhood." Anyway, the Vikings led by Leif Erikson apparently landed at Vinland (Vineland), somewhere in North America.  (Some hoaxsters nine centuries later carved a hunch of runes on a stone in Minnesota, and claimed that the Vikings discovered that state! No, we have to find someone else to blame for Minneapolis!

Recent archeology evidence indicates that the Vikings may have sailed further south than expected, into the Gulf of Mexico. As a matter of fact, a grave excavated in Norway indicated that its occupant. one Thorbob the Short, was buried with a helmet having unusually long horns. This seemed to fit in with the local legends which asserted that Thorbob the Short and his intrepid Vikings went to a warm land with unusual animals. A local parchment illustrated these animals which looked like Texas longhorns, coyotes, an horned toads. Is it possible?

One little aspect of the local legend is that Thorbob affixed these longhorns on his helmet, thinking he would bring a new fashion to Norway. However, the length of the horns posed an impediment to wearers' wishing to gain quick access or egress to mead houses.  Because of that, Thorbob's style did not catch on.

Also, Europe was nearby, and a great place to go and raise hell! Some even made a permanent home in Normandy, and gave up wearing horns entirely in favor of the sporty beret.  Think of how satorical styles would be different in Fort Worth or El Paso if those beret-wearing Normans had discovered and colonized Texas!


Bilbo said...

Somehow, I don't think the Vikings would have left Texas as screwed up as it is now.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Nice tale. I wonder who first discovered New Jersey?

TexWisGirl said...

yeah, um, no. :)

Mike said...

I thought that Thorbob the Short invented the first helicopter when he accidentally bumped the horns into a doorframe and started them spinning.

Brandi said...

I figure no one wanted to claim that discovery.

Cloudia said...

And they ARE the lost tribe of Israel you know! Or is that the native 'mericans?

Another fun visit, Angel

ALOHA from Honolulu

Dixie@dcrelief said...

Oh wow - history makes sense now.
Thorbob Marshall was the first lawman.
He invented longhorn steering
for longboats. Thorbal underwear.