Missy Chauvin, our Action News Reporter along with Al Gautreaux, heard a rumor circulating in the Quarter in Old New Orleans; and being the newshound that she was, decided to look into it. After all, it was soon going to be Sweeps Week, and at the beginning of the Silly Season! And there's something even more 10 P.M. newsworthy than the usual ration of accidents, and perhaps a shooting or two. Maybe sometimes river traffic can be held up by barge or tugboat problems, but that doesn't happen too often.
No, I will not be coy: there's nothing better for the news program ratings than the breaking of a sex scandal involving one or more of the local politicos. Now Louisiana politics is venal; you might even say corrupt. As Huey Long once oberved about a certain state senator: "We bought him like a sack of potatoes."
Rumor had it that one was visiting a House of Ill Repute. As a former mayor Martin Behrman once observed, "You can make it illegal, but you can't make it unpopular." So Missy asked Crazy Chester if knew any pols visiting the local parlor houses. His take on it was, "No, the Country Club Set has made their services obsolete."
But he did have a hot tip: One of the Ward Bosses had a stripper for a girlfriend!!! Oh joy, blessed scandal! So, Missy had something to show for her effort; better than Al's reporting on the scarcity of shrimps and oysters at the French Market.
So she took up the idea and the supporting evidence with the Action News Director, thinking this was a sure-fire lead.
But the News Director was unimpressed. "Only a Ward Boss? Why old-timers remember when a former Governor and a Judge had stripper girlfriends. And, years ago, Carl Hiassen wrote a comic novel called Strip Tease made into a movie with Demi Moore! And Missy, details, details . . . . What's her bra size? At what club does she perform? If you're going to report on lowlife in a whiskey and trombone city, you need to get all the tittillating facts!"
"Missy, the public is pretty desensitized to ill behavior from politicians. Now, maybe if you look into an expose of a member of senior management of one of our competitiors or an oil company executive we might be able to play!"
The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2017
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