Saturday, July 20, 2013

Swisser Swatter

John Aubrey, in his book Brief Lives, gives us a singular anecdote regarding Sir Walter Ralegh:

“He loved a wench well; and one time getting up one of the Mayds of Honour up against a tree in a Wood (‘twas his first Lady) who seemed at first boarding to be something fearfull of her Honour, and modest, she cryed, sweet Sir Walter, what doe you me ask? Will you undoe me? Nay. sweet Sir Walter! Sweet Sir Walter! Sir Walter! At last, as the danger and the pleasure at the same time grew higher, she cryed in the extasey, Swisser Swatter Swisser Swatter."

Very clearly, Sir Walter may have engaged in very questionable wooing techniques; undeniably, she was reluctant to some degree. He possibly even ventured into what would be considered acquaintance rape today. Furthermore, the coital position was quite irregular: upright, against a tree!  The author, John Aubrey, seems in retrospection, to be very cavalier about it all.

Whatever might have been the wench's desires and motives, apparently he did bring her to orgasm.  And, according to the story recounted, she became with child.

However, Sir Walter did the right thing in Elizabethian lights: he married her.  Secretly, as she was a Lady in Waiting to Queen Elizabeth, who didn't like such extracurricular activities.

But what is "swisser swatter"? Is that onomatopeia for coital intercourse sounds, or is that a slurring of "Sweet Sir Walter"?



Duckbutt said...

An interesting bit of history. He was later beheaded for other reasons by Queen Elizabeth.

TexWisGirl said...

all sorts of interpretations in this tale - was she really okay with his 'advances'? hmmm...

Mike said...

I'm surprised no one has marketed a swisser swatter yet.

Big Sky Heidi said...

My guess is that she orgasmed while she was talking, and it came out that way.

Brandi said...

A swisser swatter sounds like a Swiss sex toy.

Clarissa said...

He sounds pretty disgusting.

Bilbo said...

I believe Sir Walter may have been deprived of the wrong head.

Cloudia said...

I quite enjoy your lusty topics and treatments! Thanks.

ALOHA from Honolulu
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