But it seems that an act of such a type opens a Pandora's box of problems. Would the state wind up paying ministers' salaries? Would church attendance become mandatory? Could churches hold sessions on legal holidays?
And then there's the specificity of Christianity. Would the State establish as its official theism one that presumes free will, or predestination? And what about the role of the Virgin Mary? Or how about the saints? Would the state necessarily forbid the Carolina Panthers from playing the New Orleans Saints? And would the legislature delve into the Filioque issue (don't even think of going there!) Then there's the Rapture! Now, that has nothing to do with great sex (unfortunately), but rather the exotic belief that the righteous will be transported upward into Heaven before the unspecified poop hits the fan on Earth, resulting in the Tribulation. But will the lucky ones be raptured clothed or naked?
Making an Christianity an official state religion would even affect choices of bras available. Let me explain by dragging up an old joke:
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy 's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said,
"I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk
"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"
"Look around" said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from."Relieved, the man asked about the types.
The saleslady replied:
"There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple. . .
The Catholic type supports the masses;
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; and
The Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."
[Unfortunately, this joke seems not have been expanded to lampoon other brands of Christianity. Maybe readers can think of a few, maybe for Methodists, Mormons, or Holy Rollers.]
If the North Carolina law were to be re-introduced and pass constitutionality (unlikely), would that limit the varieties that could be sold? Would there be state-line bra boutiques that crop up along the borders of Virginia and South Carolina specializing in the sale of those non-official bras, much like "dry" counties have beverage outlets on the borders of adjacent "wet" counties?
In other bra news, Scottish female hikers are advised to take off their bras before ascending peaks so that their compasses might not be skewed. Alternatively, avoid those with underwiring or, if feasible, use Band-Aids.