Saturday, April 6, 2013

The Shocking Secret About Granny Panties Revealed

Fashionistas, disappointed men, and sociologists have long wondered about the persistence of granny panties in these days and times.  Somehow, it seems counterintuitive: why would women wear such undergarments unless limited selection or other reason such as belonging to a cult that prescribes particular undergarments for its members to wear?

Well, some feminists had something to say about that.  Granny panties, as large, unsexy feminine nether underwear is called nowadays, is often deliberately worn by them as a reproof to the sexy underthing purveyors; in effect, they adopted this garb for its message, "No, we will not be sex objects under our clothes!"  

Strangely enough, there was an historical antecedent for these modern-day feminists advocating women wearing granny panties.  Amelia Bloomer, a 19th century feminist, advocated clothing reform for women.  Now at that time, well-to-do women wore very cumbersome clothing: whalebone corsets, numerous petticoats, crinoline skirts, and so on and so forth.  It had two singular effects on the wearer.   They were terribly hot to wear.  Also, they made it very hard for her to participate in various activities!  Amelia Bloomer advocated that women substitute pantaloons for the cumbersome skirts and petticoats, an innovation that was considered shocking at the time.  Few women went along with this garment, as it was viewed as immodest.  The women's pantaloons were known popularly then as bloomers.

And  we must respect the single guys' point of view and their fantasies.  Having been exposed to the display window of Victoria's Secret and other undie emporiums for a long time now, they must think that all young, lithe pony-tailed women  that they see at the mall or in the workplace go around wearing teeny bikini panties or thongs under their jeans!  Married guys know better.

But why do granny panties persist?  Because they're comfortable!  Thongs, in particular, are not!  As a matter of fact, single women with possibly prospects are entirely schizophrenic when it comes to underwear selection:  They wear granny panties during the week, and reserve their briefer, more colorful and exotic confections for those weekends when they might go out!

Therefore, if you see a young woman wearing jeans, remember this stark statistic: 70% of the time she is likely to be wearing granny panties underneath!  And remember this also, she is in a much sweeter mood for doing so!

Ain't America great?  A woman can wear, or not wear, any underwear that she chooses!

However, a demurral comes from that home of the Nanny State, California.  Supposedly, several bills would be introduced in the Assembly during the next term placing a substantial granny panties surcharge whenever one is purchased by of for someone who cannot produce sufficent proof that she is a bona-fide, card-carrying grandmother.  This was strictly viewed as a revenue-generating initiative.  Like, sure.

Thus granny panties will become regulated by the Nanny State.


John Hill said...

I have to admit that I had some concerns about reading this post. The title almost scared me away.

However, leave it to Angel to educate us about the evolution of women's panties!

And btw, why is it a "pair" of panties, but only one bra?

Mike said...

The word pantaloons has never been on my radar. Google images cleared things up.

Anemone said...

I will have to admit that the best reason for wearing a thong is so no bush or too much else down there is evident.

Bilbo said...

"Married guys know better." Yes, they do, after a certain point. That point is known as the "wedding day."

Meredith said...

For the most part, right!

Still, I have two pairs of porn star-quality panties.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Now we all know what you wear....