Even Cowgirl Melinda Gets the Blues

It's worse than a hanging judge or a dry county in Wyoming: the almost halcyon West also has that Federal memento mori around April 15th: income tax time.  I'm sad to report that Cowgirl Melinda's income was less for 2012; but somehow taxes managed to creep up.  It looked like the old saddle on her Appaloosa is going to have to last another year, even with Melinda moonlighting at a combination convenience store and tanning salon.  Still matters could be worse, except for the paperwork.

And Cowgirl Melinda, true to the Code of the West, reported all income, including her having won $50 for staying on the mechanical horse longest of all the ladies during the weekend festivities at the Buffalo Droppings Saloon!  She used the local tax filing professional in Goose Meadow, as she believed in supporting local businesses.  Still, she got that dreaded letter: she was to hie herself to dismal Cheyenne and submit to an auditing by the I.R.S.

The first thing she asked (being a proper Western lady) was: "What is the dress code for going to an audit?"

One of the more humorous fellas in the bunkhouse said, "If I were you, I'd dress like I was going to play strip poker.  Put on some extra layers of clothing lest the I.R.S. leave you bare nekkid by the time you're done!" 

Melinda was naturally credulous and sincerely modest, and so she wore her jeans, chaps, two blouses, her regular bra, a smaller one, her fringed vest, her hat, boots, and an odd skirt just for safety.  She left her shootin' irons back at the bunkhouse; not wishing to cause an incident but even more properly not wanting the I.R.S. to confiscate them for back taxes.  Instead, she packed two Mountain Dews in her holsters.  And she left Old Buck, her mount, back at the bunkhouse, not wanting them to seize her ride for taxes!

The session with the auditor went reasonably well: She had to pay more; and she didn't lose too much from confiscations.  Well, the I.R.S. took her chaps and fringed vest and some other stuff, but left her with her hat and Dews!  At least she could leave the office and not run afoul of the indecent dress law even though riding Buck while wearing a short skirt posed some problems!