Frankly, Melinda was about as sensible about exercise as most Americans: she liked not doing it. But she was practical; and wanted to keep fit against the unknown future. After all, there are few desk jobs for cowboys or cowgirls!
So she signed up for Beginning Yoga. She thought that the yoga costume was okay, if a little conspicuous. (She would wear panties underneath (many costumes are somewhat see-through) and a windbreaker coming and going from classes.) And she learned much of the lingo and some of the poses.
First there was the corpse pose. That was easy. And downward-facing dog. And the triangle pose.
One pose that really got her was the plow pose. Now this pose requires that the person start off, supine, and slowly move her legs upward while still extended. Next, while the upper part of the body remains on the floor, the lower part and the extended legs are straight up. Then, the legs are bent back over the chest and head.
Cowgirl Melinda thought, "Oh me; my ass is sticking straight up in the air! What if the guys see me looking like a pretzel?"
It was a critical moment, poor Melinda felt some pressure in her tummy, and she thought, "Maybe I can break wind unobtrusively, and maybe no one will notice . . . ."
Just then, three of the cowboys burst in the room, saw the class with their butts up in the air en masse, and one said, "Wow! I never saw so many asses since Congress was in session!"
Melinda couldn't help herself; she got the giggles. And let fly the most amazing and literary fart since Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales!
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| The Plow Pose |
13 comments:
The plow position can result in women with gracious plenty getting their boobs in their faces. It's impossible to do it if you have a tum.
This is a real cool short tale. I enjoyed it.
Brandi
oh, dear.
That's my thoughts too. I'd never be able to get out of that position!
Picture Homer Simpson saying "Bacon, yummmm" Now picture me saying "Yoga pants, yummmmm!"
I just recently learned about see through yoga outfits. I might have taken up yoga earlier in life had I known.
Oh, my!
I used to take a class called "Body Flow" at our local Gold's Gym. It included a lot of yoga and tai chi, and was quite fun. However, I agree with Melinda that some poses are conducive to the ventilation of waste gases...which is not a good thing when you're an old guy who is usually the only man in the class.
I enjoyed the story, having done yoga for a number of years and having occasional olfactory mishaps.
"You can't take the truth"!
An attractive woman in yoga pants is easy on the eyes. Especially if she's commando.
I must say that the pose does look fart facilitating!
I'll stick to surfing, thank you!
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