Sunday, March 17, 2013

Begorrah! A Bikini Contest for St. Patrick's Day

Sainthood has its hardships: the surest ways of becoming a saints are to be in J.C.'s posse, to be a martyr, to be a virgin, or to have founded some influential religious order that will politic to make sure you're elevated to that status.
 
Or you can convert some pagan land, as Patrick did for Ireland many years ago.  And he allegedly drove out the serpents, as well.  But my point is that the road to sainthood is filled with rocky, uneven parts; and there's little emphasis given to the prizes that go with that lofty status.
 
Does sainthood come with Frequent Flyer Miles?  If you're a Saint, do they wave you through TSA screening?  So far, these premiums have not been included in the Standard Sainthood Package.
 
As a matter of fact, there is no Standard Sainthood Package, just as there is no Santa Claus.
 
However, one saint managed to hit it big time with the goodies: St. Patrick.  Now, for starters, for having converted Ireland, and driving snakes out, he was named patron saint of an island with great beer (Guinness, especially!), great Irish whiskey (Jameson's), a lot of greenery, and winsome lasses.  Erin Go Bragh!  Whoever got named patron saints of  Canada or Iowa got left out: maybe they didn't score high on the saintometer!
 
Anyway, St. Patrick gets the royal treatment for being a saint:  They parade in his honor in Boston, New York, Savannah, and even Huntsville (thanks, Elvis, for this information!)!  Green beer is drunk aplenty, and everyone gets a good buzz on. And St. Patrick's Day is like Cinco de Mayo: it's has morphed into an occasion to party, even though you're not Irish or Catholic!
 
A recent development is the emergence of Irish-themed St. Patrick's Day bikini contests in several places, even in those not known for Irishness.  It is not known how the good saint feels about this development, is he flattered in the hereafter, or offended?  My advice to keep on the good side of Saint Patrick is to wear a green bikini with some caboose coverage, and drink a glass of green beer in his honor.
 
See this site:
 
http://photos.al.com/alphotos/2012/03/st_patricks_day_green_bikini_c_10.html 
 
Erin Go Bragh!
 
 
 

8 comments:

Mike said...

I think the bikini contestants in Toledo might be wearing parkas today.

TexWisGirl said...

i'm thinking he's okay with it all. :)

bakku-shan said...

It soulds like fun. How about a microbikini contest?

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

They have a contest locally and green beer.

Erin Go Bragh

Grand Crapaud said...

St. Patrick's Day would not be the same without a bikini contest.

Bilbo said...

So, the standard greeting after enough green beer will eventually become Erin go Braless?

MarkD60 said...

Bikini contests and St Patrick's day go together like pickles and peanut butter.
That being said, where's the photos?

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