For some reason, the post I put up earlier in the morning does not come up in some peoples' list of new posts. If you would like to read "Where New Orleans Policemen Buy Their Shoes, click on older post.
As things go, it started innocently enough: St. Cletus's Parish Altar society was having its monthly social; with teacakes and wine in the Parish Hall when Crystal Badeaux sang that innocent little ditty from New Orleans folklore that has been around from time immemorial:
"All policemen have big feet;
Buy their shoes on Rampart Street."
Now the Altar Society was also colloquially know as the Parish Gossip Clearance Committee for a reason. And it just conveniently happened that the good, innocent priest Father Devereaux was absent; otherwise his presence would have cast some inhibitions on the dialogue that took place. Now some of the latest gossip had been pretty well plowed over: Missy Chauvin's daring new outfit that she wore on the 10 o'clock news, Pierre Jeansonne's drinking problem, Mimi Dupré's naughty weekend at Gulf Shores, the latest act of Suzette the Existential Stripper, and the antics of Crazy Chester threatening to run for political office. So they went back to some of the old standbys, such as speculation on the sex lives of single or separated members of the Parish. [I hope guys don't do this also.] Ousier Hébert observed about the parish's resident mystic: "Madeline the Prophetess has been rather subdued of late. Is she still seeing that nice young policeman, Officer Pete?"
Tante Bizou said, "But yes. They are a pair. But what brought that on?"
Ousier Hébert said, "It is what Crystal Badeaux said, about policemen having big feet."
Tante Bizou replied, "So......."
Ousier said, "Well, you know what they say about men with big feet! Maybe he has a quieting influence on our Madeline. We need to do some field research." Angelyne Periot said, "Oh, I hope it is true; Madeline is such a sweet girl!" There was a tinge of nostalgia in her words that was not lost on other members of the Altar Society. Finally, most of the gathering began to understand that Ousier was referring to the folk belief that certain male features correlated to the size of their feet. Still, there were a few of them who were slow on the uptake, and needed a detailed explanation. So they decided right then and there to make a little trip to the Café du Monde coffeehouse, where the local fuzz take their breaks. When they arrived en masse, they were pleased to see Officer Pete on a break with the Sergeant. They went up, one by one, and looked at Pete's and the Sergeant's feet. Finally, Ousier Hébert asked Officer Pete where he buys his shoes. Pete said, "Oh, around. Sometimes Macy's, sometimes Holmes, sometimes Penney's." After the ladies left, Pete turned to the Sergeant. "What was all that about?" The Sergeant said, "You don't want to know. Now brush the sugar powder off your uniform and we'll get back to work."
Warning: This topic might be found distasteful by some.
Scott Napper, a Professor of Biochemistry at the University of Saskatchewan, is in the process of determining whether the practice of mucophagy may have some benefits for the immune system.
Mucophagy sometimes follows rhinotillexomania. otherwise known as nose-picking, for some people. In more usual language, rarely among the Hamptons set, this is referred to as snot-eating or booger-eating. Research indicates that about seven out of ten people engage in nose-picking, and three out of ten subsequently consume the extracted mucus.
Grrrrr-osssss!
Anyway, the notion is that the deposits in the nostrils contain small amounts of pathogens; and consuming small doses of them by consuming boogers may actually have a beneficial effect on the immune system by exposing them to small, managable amounts of these pathogens. This is a kind of desensitization process.
His planned experiment is very straightforward: he plans to use two groups of volunteers: those who would eat their own boogers, and the other who would abstain from doing so.
I admit that I'm not that committed to science that I would serve as an experimental group subject!
It's obvious that snot gets no respect. To describe someone as snotty is perjorative, whether in the literal or the figurative sense.
Then we also have that ominous figure, the Boogerman or bogeyman, used by some adults to ensure children's compliant behavior. Does the Boogerman live in Boogertown, TN or Boogertown, NC? Does he engage in mucophagy? I am curious.
Can we expect someday that some health-conscious individual will propose Booger Supplements and have these sold in the homeopathic medicine stores? Silly goose -- after all, boogers are readly available! But homeopathy has widespread acceptance by the New Age roll-your-own health crowd despite no scientific support for its efficacy.
There is an unseemly vice that has affected too many people nowadays: the vice of actually being uncaring, or feigning so. It unnaturally distances people from each other, and makes for loneliness.
Just a minor rant from me: having worked briefly as a mixologist I was amazed at the number of surprisingly vulgar cocktail names that have proliferated since the concept of mixed drink libations has become accepted. Not just the coy ones, like the cutesy and revolting mix called 'Sex on the Beach,' or the 'Fuzzy Navel' or the 'Bosom Caresser," but out-and-out gross drink names! Just go to this site and type in some smutty word in the search: http://drinksmixer.com Here's an example of one that will not be named:
1 oz Chambord raspberry liqueur
2 oz Irish Cream 6 oz milk
Pour the chambord, irish cream, and milk or cream into a shaker with ice. Shake, strain and pour into a champagne saucer. Or, if you're lazy, serve it on the rocks.
Personally, I'd serve an ounce each of the two liqueurs on vanilla ice-cream. And lose the dreadful name! As a matter of fact, anyone who orders this by name deserves to have it poured over his misogynist head! Please be respectful to waitresses.
A moral holiday is a holiday from everyday conventions or morals. An occasion, a ritual, a time of year, or whatever when the many of the common rules and customs are willfully ignored and flouted. Obviously, this is very open to individual interpretations. "The universe is a system of which the individual members may relax their anxieties occasionally, in which the don’t-care mood is also right for men, and moral holidays in order... I fully believe in the legitimacy of taking moral holidays." -- William James Now William James, proper Bostonian and Harvard professor as he was, gave the example of taking a walk in the park when you could be working and feeling bad as an example of a moral holiday. Shall we say that he was a creature of his time, a pragmatist philosopher, or just someone devoid of imagination? Moral holidays are often correlated with actual holidays in which the person goes to a new place; one with more latitude as to personal conduct, perhaps. There's something inviting about those dives on the Redneck Riviera that come to mind, especially if the music is loud and the beer is flowing. Yes, it's true: several women have publicly removed their bras to be hung from the ceiling of the Florabama Lounge! And couples neck on the sand amid the dunes. And each year there is a mullet-tossing competition. New Orleans is, of course, the place with the wild Mardi Gras! And, yes, dressing in outlandish costumes is part of the scene. And light misconduct, even by people who would never, never think of doing so back home. Somehow, the crowds, the alcohol, the rowdyness, and the permissiveness make it somehow not a bad idea at the time. Moral holidays are a brief respite from the everyday standards of conduct, the fixed smile. It's a little time to be a little different. Years ago Las Vegas, after failing to promote itself as a family destination, successfully remarketed itself, using the slogan "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." This was accompanied by a series of commercials, one of which is shown below. Now it's totally uncertain why the women are wearing nearly identical outfits and go into the powder room to exchange wigs, but the looks they gave each other leave the viewer with the thought that they must be up to something not entirely above board! Could they have met two guys, and decided that they liked each other's better? It's pretty much up in the air as to what is going on, but somehow it's likely to involve something questionable. And, afterwards, a delicious memory to share!
Recently, our esteemed Secretary of State John Kerry described possible bombing by the U.S. as an intervention in Syria as being an "unbelieveably small, limited kind of effort." I must admit to skepticism here; but I'm skeptical about our possible intervention in Syria anyway and I'm no authority on things military. This is a revolutionary new idea in the exercise of foreign policy by other means, probably not covered in Clauswitz or even the Occupy Wall Street playbook. Could the Ketchup Man be on to something? Maybe the principle of 'less in more' extends to other things, too. It is a fact that the first kiss a guy gives a girl should be short and sweet, so that she is left with wanting more. And photographers should focus on the main subject, and avoid having too many extraneous elements in the frame. Burglars might try breaking into garages instead of houses, detached ones even better. And English majors should dash off a short paper instead of the extended paper the instructor specified. Actually, this principle does work with theses and dissertations. One of the problems a graduate student has is to get her thesis committee to read her's. Yes, it's a known fact that in order to get a graduate degree, a girl has to show her thesis to a committee. But that committee will tend to be more prompt in reading one if it's only 60 or 70 pages, as opposed to a 350-page doorstop! That's a psychology major knowing human nature! Sometimes the attainment of the 'less in more' principle is ambiguous. It it better to wear a more demure bikini or a string bikini? [I exclude from consideration the vulgar microbikini as suitable only for a strip club.] And what should we say about homeopathic beer? Say no to Bud Lite? Anyway, after digressing all over the place, it seems that John Kerry's concept has some properties in common with Samuel Hahnemann's theory of homeopathy: small quantities of substance that evokes mild symptoms of a disease in healthy people will cure similar symptoms in sick people. Homeopathic remedies, strictly interpreted, are developed by repeatedly diluting the substance in question with distilled water of alcohol, often until there is none of the original molecules that caused the symptoms. So how could this homeopathic use of military power be used? 1. John Kerry himself could shake his finger at Assad for being a bad boy. 2. Our ranking general could scowl at the misbehaving Syrians. 3. Rush Limbaugh's flatulence could be unleashed for his strike potential; and be deployed to moon the Syrians? Or would this be considered another Weapon of Mass destruction? Would the use of Roseanne Barr be more in the order of "an unbelieveably small, limited kind of effort," or should we enlist someone with less a impressive butt? 4. Elvis's suggestion could be implemented: send an old airplane to drop firecrackers on the misbehaving Syrians. This would at least upset every dog in Damascus. 5. The U.N. passing a resolution forbidding all of its members from playing Syria in the World Cup soccer. 6. Finally, President Obama, having previously been professionally coached and having had practice, could use his "I'm not impressed" look:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Okay, guys: Who seems sexier to you: the quirky Zooey Deschsanel or the in-your-face Miley Cyrus? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My name is Angélique (or Angel). I'm a Cajun native of New Orleans, LA. I'm a
blonde in my learly 30's. I'm married and full-time stay at home mommy of a daughter. Politically, I'm independent, with contrarian leanings.
I still have some traces of my Cajun/Yat accent despite having been in the groves of academe.
I hope you won't mind my odd sense of humor.
