Monday, January 16, 2017

Tammy, the Deacon, and the Party Bus

While Billy Bob and Bubba were away, Tammy the Red-Headed Schoolteacher got a job on a Mountain Party Bus on weekends and evenings to make some extra money. About this party bus: Badwater Billy back in Mount Brushy thought up a little scheme to make some spendin' money and so did some emulating of big city habits. He read that millennials and others spent money on such, and figgered that people in this neck of the woods were just as trendy as some Chicagoans! Yessir!

So he came across some old bus retired from a nearby school and refurbished it with everything the proper mountaineer would call for in a party bus: a bar, a stripper pole, comfy seats for some casual lovin' and other odds and ends. The persons using the bus could go for a bar tour in Asheville, go over the mountain to Knoxville, or just ride around aimlessly while partying and drinking. Of course, the bar was popular! And Tammy could strip while the party people watched; or a less inhibited partygoer could  use the pole if she wished instead. It made for a fun ride if done on the winding I-40 over the mountains!

Kind of a new twist on the "Meet Me at the Flag" routine, where some kids would gather at the school flag for some prayin'!

Anyway, the party bus really caught on. So much that even some college students from Appalachian State regarded it as on their collegiate do-list! But other groups found it to be a lark too. Like church deacons.

One day Tammy was on the party bus carrying a group of church deacons from eastern Kentucky needing some R and R from being stiff-necked and moralistic. Now that sounded like an uphill task! However, the deacons seemed to be open to try different things. For example, this party of older gents who came chose route US 129; otherwise known as The Tail of the Dragon. God knows why they chose that route, but Tammy rode as hostess and entertainer.

This being a classy party bus, it carried the best type of Jack Daniel Tennessee whiskey; and those Kentucky deacons literally got in the spirit of things! That is, they got tanked!

 it was soon time for Tammy to dance. She was having all she could handle compensating for the many turns on the Tail of the Dragon while doing her pole dance routine. It was all her poor arms could handle because the driver was speeding in order to satisfy a call of nature! And on one particularly sharp turn Tammy lost her connection and got flung into Deacon Wilcox's lap. And the deacon was a skinny l'il fella!

What do you say to a deacon when you are wearing a thong and wind up in his lap?

"Hi, Pops!" seemed like a weak start.

But then she offered him a free lap dance.

But first Deacon Wilcox swore everyone to silence. Hey, when you're a penurious deacon, then you don't pass up something free!

So this merry group of party boys had a happy time, especially the deacon! After all, not everyone can brag that he got a lap dance while riding on the Tail of the Dragon!

And the driver, bless his heart, finally got a chance to pee!


Cloudia said...

Great little jaunt!

Sinner Bob said...

Now that's funny!

Rough Rider said...

Best teacher ever!

Grand Crapaud said...

A lap dance will loosen up any deacon.

Mike said...

Did the deacon then pay the driver to swerve the bus a little more?

Atomic Dog said...

Now that's how to do a party!

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

Now THAT'S a bus ride!

~ D-FensDogG Lite
[The Non-Carbonated, Zero-Calorie, Sugar-&-Fun-Free,
Unoriginal, One-Liner version of D-FensDogG]

allenwoodhaven said...

Great story, well told!

John Hill said...

The Tail of the Dragon is on every biker's do list.
318 curves in just 11 miles with the bravest of souls averaging about 35 mph for the course.
In a speeding bus with a driver that needs to pee and a bar on board, I'd bet that strippers wouldn't be the only thing being hurled!

What a great story, Angel!

Gorilla Bananas said...

The deacon swore them all to silence? It looks like someone broke the oath. Or maybe the deacon talks in his sleep!

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

I'm glad the deacon got his happy ending!

Arlee Bird said...

The Tail of the Dragon would make one heck of a bus ride. Seems like a lot of folks would be giving each other lap dances if there weren't any seat belts and I'm thinking a bus like that wouldn't be having seat belts.

Back about 1990 when I was still living in Knoxville I considered the idea of starting party bus company, not for long hauls, but just for bar hopping around Knoxville. Just thought about it though and never actually looked into it. I'm sure there'd be all sorts of liabilities involved in such a venture if one could even get it happening.

Arlee Bird
Tossing It Out

Bilbo said...

What allenwoodhaven said! Where do I get the tickets?

Clarissa said...

A different side of school teaching.