Ah! Holidays. In times lately there are the usual naysayers and old grouches. Plus a few that are definitely anti- whatever holidays there is. And a counter trend: the pros that take umbrage with the naysayers; thus "The War on Christmas™ beloved by Bill O'Reilly and others.
Valentine's Day is one such occasion. Do we need to talk about a War on Valentine's Day™? Well, there is a small minority of parents who object to the exchange of Valentines in schools. Yes, is it because they weren't sent sufficient valentines when they were little snowflakes? And there's the killjoys who object to the cards, the boxes of chocolates, and the Valentine-suitable gifts. (Not undies if the recipient is still living with her parents.)*
But some curmudgeon raised the issue of Daylight Savings Time. Specifically, why have it? Keep things on Standard Time all year. Now it's a fact of geography. It may be so that It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia**, but not as long as when the winter solstice is approached. There's good logic behind the using regular time year round: fewer accidents, less disruption of natural rhythms, and so forth. So, eventually, everyone went along. But Boston took another step and discussed going on Atlantic Standard Time, like the Maritime Provinces and Puerto Rico.***
Daylight Savings Time was not popular, anyway.
But what about New Year's Eve? Now New Year's Day is kind of a non-occasion, except for eating black-eyed peas and cabbage and watching endless football games and the Rose Bowl Parade. But cut out the Eve part. Let's face it: people drink too much, make out with others they're not married to, engage in celebratory gunfire, and wake up with hangovers the next day. Not to mention those routs called New Year's Parties!
So let's declare a War on New Year's Eve™! That will dampen this rampant occasion for risky merry-making! Who knows: maybe someone with even come out with New Year's Eve maypoles! After all, would could be less righteous than people having fun? T'ain't American, ya know!
*One such gift I got as a teen provoked commentary from the auntosphere.
**A television program.
***For true; this has been proposed lately.
4120 - Saturday jokes
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