Monday, December 12, 2016

The Dirt Road Sports Get Carded in a Bootleg Joint

Despite their best intentions, Bubba and Billy Bob got jobs in a nearby dry county. Seasonal work for these shiftless characters. However, after an exhausting day, they felt in need of a few cold brews. But how to find them in a dry county? Well, they used a little reconnoitering skills learned from their National Guard training to look for a bootlegger.

Now the usual way to go about this is to look for an unusual number of cars or pickups, or look for large numbers of tire tracks. If it ain't a church or convenience store, that means that something hinky is going on there, be it a dog fight or a bootlegger or a undercover strip show or a seller of hot goods that fell off of a truck. Some guys just have a nose for such things, so to speak!

Well, the boys were wearing work clothes; and darn it, they looked respectful!

So much so that the old lady who was running the suspicious joint that they thought was running a bootleg joint asked to see their driver's licenses! Now that's a turnabout; getting asked for I.D. before they could enter a bootlegger's establishment! Like it was a respectable place and she wanted proof of age! 

Well, Billy Bob's mind was trashed; he was quite a few years older than 21 and hadn't been asked for an I.D. in years when it was an issue! But Bubba showed his, and gained admission. The old lady just wanted to make sure he wasn't a local deputy acting undercover. The North Carolina driver's license sort of did that. So Billy Bob showed his. Having proved they were from out of state and not deputies gone undercover, the boys were admitted. 

[A long time ago, bootleg joints were sometimes called blind tigers.]


Mariette said...

Sometimes it helps to be conventional.

Gorilla Bananas said...

A dry county? Wasn't prohibition repealed a long time ago? Al Capone has risen from the dead!

Mike said...

Dry counties. Government and religious persecution working together.

Cloudia said...

well written and amusing!

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Unfortunately, the laws in several states allow for the prohibition of alcohol sales by individual counties. :-)

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

An interesting tale of life in a dry county.

Anonymous said...


John Hill said...

It's been a few years, but I've been to a dry county in Kentucky.
I was there as part of a grand opening of a lumber yard that is no longer in existence. Our bosses got (or should I say bought) special permission to bring a cooler full of iced beer into the banquet room of a restaurant where we had dinner.

Birgit said...

I just never thought that there would still be places that are dry. They seem to love the old prohibition era.

Arlee Bird said...

I've heard of such places in Tennessee--not that I've ever been to one. And now the once formerly dry county where I used to live has everything alcohol-wise available legally. No more driving to the next county to get it. Much more convenient for we who consume alcohol. The old hometown is much more upscale now. The tax revenue probably doesn't hurt either.

Of course, here in L.A. where I now live, you can buy any kind of alcohol in the supermarket. And soon I guess pot dispensaries will be opening up as well. It will be easy to just stay trashed all the time. Considering how things are in California though, who would want to stay sober?

One funny note is that the Tennessee county where they make Jack Daniels is a dry county. You can tour the distillery, but you can't buy any liquor there. They serve lemonade at the end of the tour.

Arlee Bird
Tossing It Out