Friday, December 9, 2016

Hipster Corsages for Homecoming

Yes, the dreaded hipster style as slowly migrated into the land of sunshine and southern belles! How can this be possible? Well, styles change, even in Dixie!

Now let me explain! There are just some events that call for looking your best; even it it can be construed as a surrendering to bourgeois taste. No, I'm not referring to the practicality of wearing a suit to a job interview or a uniform if you are a fast food worker.

This is totally serious! Something is just done in the Deep South. You must dress up for the Homecoming football game. Now this is a mandatory dress occasion, kind of like going to Maw-Maw's for Sunday dinner or appearing in Court. (Southern judges have been known to charge déclassé jurors or attorneys with contempt of court for sartorial misdemeanors.)

Here's a tip for hipster guys: if you take a date to the Homecoming game in the South, she will dress up and expect you to give her a corsage! Even if she wears dress-up hipster clothing! To fail to bestow one is to disrespect her. She will be in a testy mood; and guess what? No lovin' for you later on, Bubba!

Fortunately, some helpful florists in key Southern cities also include a line of hipster Homecoming corsages; for example, in Tuscaloosa, Baton Rouge, Knoxville, Athens, and Oxford. Hipster corsages run a complete gamut of stylistic embellishments: in addition to the mandatory chrysanthemum, tiny black pansies or hellebores or maybe a black dahlia instead. Naturally, the institutional colors must also be incorporated as well. The arrangement would logically call for purple and gold for L.S.U.'s Homecoming. Don't come a calling without one! 



9 comments:

John Hill said...

Good info for young suitors, hipster or not.
Hopefully, us more mature gents have learned our lessons on how to treat the women in our lives.

Brandi said...

I've cherished the homecoming corsages I got.

Mike said...

I never took a date to homecoming. I was on the field knocking heads.

Grand Crapaud said...

Hipsters just need to remember what's important.

Gorilla Bananas said...

The song 'Daydream Believer' has the expression 'Homecoming Queen' in it. I am now slightly closer to knowing what it means.

Gorilla Bananas said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Big Sky Heidi said...

I didnt get one, being a cheerleader.

Cloudia said...

You are an invaluable guide, Angel!

Blue Grumpster said...

Sartorial misdemeanors? Say it an't so! CLICK!