1. I don't fear awkward silences.
2. I don't say things I don't mean.
3. I don't leave food on my plate.
4. I don't take coffee to go.
5. I don't feel uncomfortable in my own skin.
The author takes us to task because we:
1. Are uncomfortable with lapses in conversation, and feel we must converse than be quiet at times.
2. Say things like "pleased to meet you" or "let's get together sometimes" that confuses foreigners.
3. Waste food, from his point of view. Naturally, he doesn't take into account the giant-sized portions in restaurants. Hey, I'm a chick; there's no way I could eat an 8 ounce hamburger with fries!
4. Take our coffee to go. We do this because we drink coffee while working and because coffee bars have limited space that discourages lingering. [I do my best work when I have a venti-sized coffee with chicory with it.]
5. Feel squeamish about going naked. It's our custom not to go starkers; though I can go with a certain amount of undressing on beaches. As a matter of fact, I'm okay with women going topfree; but my personal niñas remain in my top.
These interesting cultural differences are taken by the author that we are wrong. And that chafes me to no end!
Okay, instead of our chaotic American non-rituals of courtship, why don't we go in for arranged marriages? Some people would like that!
And, when we meet someone, why don't we ask them how they manage that irritating laugh, or how they see around that big nose? Hey, that's speaking plainly!
And we part company, why don't we just say, "Go **** yourself, Jack!"
And maybe the major American newspapers could have Page 3 girls. No timid hinting of what's under her bikini by Hannah Davis, even though it caused some people to have conniptions.
Humor papers could engage in crude characterizations of religious figures. After all, if artists can get grant money for that, why not cartoonists?
Bikini waxes are so timid; in some parts of Africa they go for female genital mutilation. Hmm....Canada is suddenly looking pretty good!
Ethnic cleansing? Could that be used as a solution for pesky Hollywood types?
Instead of a duly elected government and President, why don't we adopt rule by fiat on the part of a junta? Maybe this junta could also drive Fiats?
As for silence, we could introduce silence training periodically in different stages in a monastery or convent that requires its members to adopt a vow of silence. Oh, be still, my heart! Would that be a way of shutting up pundits and rabble-rousers?
Of course, I'm engaging in a little bit of heavy-handed sarcasm. But, seriously, Americans have a right to their cultures and mores too!* Yes, I am proud to say, you all! Just because the people of England or Sweden or East Abunni do it differently, does not make either our way or theirs', for that matter, wrong.
*That includes saying "you all" or "y'all."
|Captain America looking to kick some bad habits.|