Monday, March 10, 2014

Bizarre White House Petitions

What could be more American than its citizenry petitioning the White House to initiate some desired changes in the quality of our government, to achieve "A more perfect Union?"

That's the theory, at least; but in the past year and a half a large number of frivolous, odd, abusive, and sometimes well-meaning petitions were started.  Each petition requires 25,000 signees for the White House to issue an official response.

Interestingly, petitions was initiated for each of the 50 states to have it seceded from the Union.  A few of these, including Texas and Louisiana, had enough signatures to warrant the official response, which was, in effect, no can do.  Whether this is due to internal dissatisfaction with belonging to the United States, or an exercise of one's animus on another state, is unknown.  [I did sign one which will be unnamed; but it was not Louisiana or Texas.]

Actually, the correct process for session is for the state in question to initiate it; and the Federal Government passing legislation telling them, in effect, "Sayonara, baby!"  Neither is likely, especially the latter.  The unpleasantness that occurred between 1861 and 1865 provided too telling a reason why. 

Lately, some people are petitioning for the deportation of Justin Beiber; not something one would think would require such a high level response!  Can you imagine President Obama's to-do list:

1.  Work out peaceful solution to Ukraine crisis.
2.  Deport Canadian brat.
3.  Work with Congress on details of annual budget.
4.  Sign or veto legislation submitted by Congress.
5.  Improve the economy.

On the other hand, I can sympathize with those who would like Westboro Baptist Church being designated as a "hate group," or to repeal its tax-exempt status.

How about this one:
Nationalize the Twinkie industry

We the undersigned, hereby request Barack Obama to immediately Nationalize the Twinkie industry and prevent our nation from losing her sweet creamy center.
Total signatures: 3,998

Instead, could we petition the White House to nationalize the Moon Pie industry?   Or force the change of the Washington and San Diego NFL teams' nicknames?  One for its strident offensiveness, the other because it promotes fiscal irresponsibility through excessive use of credit cards.

Considering this year's debacle, I would petition the White House for fair, warm weather on Mardi Gras.  It was cold; and it sort of takes some of the joy and spontaneity out of wearing a skimpy costume or showing for beads if you have to towel down afterwards.  And why should one be encumbered with a wet towel on Mardi Gras day?

Seriously, why not petition the White House to eliminate daylight savings time?  The "spring forward" part is a bummer.


Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

I would do away with Daylight Savings Time, strictly because no time is saved.

Bilbo said...

I'd sign that petition for Texas to secede, but only if they took Arkansas and Mississippi with them.

TexWisGirl said...

if i moved from texas first, they could slide into the gulf if they wanted. :)

Mike said...

Let's start a petition to end frivolous petitions.

Brandi said...

Secede New Joisey away!

eViL pOp TaRt said...

If Texas, Arkansas, and Mississippi were to secede, that would make Louisiana isolated from the rest of the U.S., like East Prussia was between the World Wars.

Cloudia said...

Well stated!

ALOHA from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral

=^..^= <3