In the sex-charged context of nowadays and the repeated occurrence of the term 'friend with benefits,' it is proper to assert that men and women, or boys and girls, can be friends. Friendship can exist in a romantic and sexual contact (hopefully, romance and sex go together), or it can be free-standing.
I deliberately refrained from writing 'just friends.' Conceptualizing the nature of friendship that way serves to make it be perceived as less than it is or can become. In fact, friendship can potentially extend between people of the same or dissimilar sexes, ages, races, religions, politics, or other accidents of being human. Friendship rests in mutual good will, in kindness, in tolerance, in forgiveness, in those blessed ways that allow us to transcend being crass or self-interested.
A friend is someone who can serve as a sounding board; and you provide one in return. Specifically, a very close male friend helped me to understand those strange creatures (boys; later, men) and reassured me about something that females often feel vulnerable about. And, I hope, I reassured him in matters of male vulnerability.
Female-male friendships should not be dismissed as a consolation prize. You can never have too many friends, and friends come in different forms. Sometimes this might even occasionally go into "friends with minor benefits," but it's okay to go back.
"Make new friends, but keep the old;
One is silver, and the other is gold."
-- Old Girl Scout round
I deliberately refrained from writing 'just friends.' Conceptualizing the nature of friendship that way serves to make it be perceived as less than it is or can become. In fact, friendship can potentially extend between people of the same or dissimilar sexes, ages, races, religions, politics, or other accidents of being human. Friendship rests in mutual good will, in kindness, in tolerance, in forgiveness, in those blessed ways that allow us to transcend being crass or self-interested.
A friend is someone who can serve as a sounding board; and you provide one in return. Specifically, a very close male friend helped me to understand those strange creatures (boys; later, men) and reassured me about something that females often feel vulnerable about. And, I hope, I reassured him in matters of male vulnerability.
Female-male friendships should not be dismissed as a consolation prize. You can never have too many friends, and friends come in different forms. Sometimes this might even occasionally go into "friends with minor benefits," but it's okay to go back.
"Make new friends, but keep the old;
One is silver, and the other is gold."
-- Old Girl Scout round
10 comments:
So true! Never dismiss friendship, in whatever form it takes.
a wonderful post. :)
Opposite-sex friendships can depend a lot on your SO.
What a sweet post! I love it!
As it happens, I have more female friends than male friends. This is probably a result of having ballroom dancing as a hobby. Fortunately, I know the limits and have an understanding wife.
A FWB relationship gives the best of both categories.
You are wise, and can write!
ALOHA from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
> < } } ( ° >
=^..^= <3
You seem to imply that Fri9ends With Benefits it okay.
You seem to imply that Fri9ends With Benefits it okay.
Lots of us have experienced a friends with benefits relationship.
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