Friday, November 15, 2013

Melinda Learns to Tell the Real from the Fake

While Cowgirl Melinda was having coffee with some other girls (women, if you prefer), one of the group made a comment regarding someone at another table:  "Will you look at her; surely she has fake [breasts].*

Immediately, some others in the group joined in with their appraisals; pretty well in agreement with the first comment.  This confused our girl, who was totally clueless as to how they derived their conclusions.

So, in total naiveity, she asked.  And got several plausible reasons.

1.  The other girl had outsized breasts that seemed larger in proportion to her slim body;

2.  She was wearing form-fitting clothes;

3.  Her breasts were "too perfect:" they were cantaloupe-shaped rather than pear-shaped.

4.  They were positioned relatively high on her chest.

Melinda then queried, "Why don't you ask her if they're real or store-bought?"  And immediately became aware of the fallacy of that approach.

Later on, while back in the bunkhouse, Cowgirl Melinda decided to test that hypothesis.  Taking off her denim jacket and Western shirt, she donned a baby tee.  And checked herself over.

"Those bitches don't know what they're talking about," Melinda exclaimed!"

Smitty, who happened in at that moment, asked, "What bitches?"

"Oh, just the usual loudmouthed variety."

"You must have been in Ten Sleep today, Melinda."

*My substitution for the dysphemism that was actually used, which Cowgirl Melinda would never use.


Randomly Rachel said...

Ridiculing someone else's tits is a standard way of being bitchy that is widely accepted.

Who is going to ask, or admit, whether they are real or fake.

Rudolph said...

So were Melinda's boobs real or fake? The story does not make it clear.

MarkD60 said...

If you can touch them, they're real.

Mike said...

Next thing you know they'll be picking on old peoples' fake knees and hips.

Cloudia said...

If it feels good = Real ♥


Grand Crapaud said...

Just so Cowgirl Melinda is happy with hers.

bakku-shan said...

You can only tell by how they feel. Do they give, or are they inflexible?

Kristen Drittsekkdatter said...

A small size increase should be alright, just so long as they don't look like obvious fakies.

You might not believe it, but I am considering some. That would catch notice here in Bemidji.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Nice tale. I think it's up in the air as to whether she had some or not.

Big Sky Heidi said...

Some common misconceptions about implants. Actually, if they are done right, they should look like normal breasts.

Kristen -- Best wishes if you do. I am totally satisfied with my ourcomes. Yes, there is a temptation to flaunt them!

Insane Penguin said...

Those are fake hooters, but damn fine looking.

Bilbo said...

I would be more than happy to offer my assistance in assessing the reality of anyone's breasts. Just call. And don't tell my wife.