Friday, November 1, 2013

Masking the Evidence

Billy Bob and Peggy Sue finally tied the knot in holy wedlock, despite the fact that both were without jobs back home in Possum Grove, NC.  Fortunately, Peggy Sue's parents gave them a room to live in until things got better; or they both got enough feck to move to Charlotte.

Things were fine living in the same house as her parents, except for one thing: the rooms had such thin, uninsulated walls so that sounds easily carried.  It inhibited their love-making at bedtime!

Finally, Peggy Sue had a heart-to-heart talk with her Mama; and told her their predictment:  "Mama, we can't make no love because we're afraid you and Papa can hear what we're doing."

Mama thought, "Yup.  And keeping score."

But Mama said, "Huh, child, I know your problem.  Me and Papa had the same problem when we lived with the grandparents when we fust got hitched.  But here's what you ought to do.  You and Billy Bob keep a-talking about something else while you're doin' the deed.  I guarantee, you both will get satisfaction."

So Peggy Sue and Billy Bob decided to try that.  After all, they were having no luck nohow and were really itchy.

So the very same night, they started trying this idea out.

PS:  "Billy Bob, did you hoe them turnips this morning.?"

BB:  "Yeah, I did," while starting.

PS:  "Did you do 'em all?"

BB:  "Yeah.  Yeeahhh."

PS:  "And did you prime the well pump like you were supposed ta?"

BB:  "Uh....uh....yeahhhh.

PS:  "Uh...uh...and did you mend the fence okay?"

BB:  "Uh....yeahh!"

PS:  "How about the barrel?  Did you move it like you said?"

BB:  "The big brown one that we keep the rainwater in?  Puff puff......puff"

PS:  "No, the small one with the hoops.....hoops.....Whoops.....Whoops.....WHOOPS!!!"

Mama thought, "Touchdown!"


Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Ha ha! That was a great laugh for a still dark morning!

Bilbo said...


MarkD60 said...

I am too young andinnocent to understand this joke

John Hill said...


Mike said...

Priming the pump takes on a new meaning.

TexWisGirl said...

no way, no how. :)

Grand Crapaud said...

It's amazing how it is to relax inhibitions, sometime.

Anemone said...

We have that problem at the apartment in Sitka; we've gotten used to hearing lovemaking from the couples on either side of us, so they inspire us to action as well!

Is that kinky?

Big Sky Heidi said...

Anemone, it sounds like fun! Even when you much play the lone hand, but much better with a lover.

Brandi said...

I would find parents liostening in to be a strong inhibitor! Maybe they should get together when the parents are out!

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Sharing a dorm room with someone who is physically entertaining her boyfriend can also be one of those situations. At least it was uncomfortable for me, having to listen to their loud lovemaking!

Cloudia said...

Country Wisdom!

"Feck" good one!

ALOHA from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral

Atomic Dog said...

Older parents are often highly motivated to have grandchildren; but sometimes inhibit the necessary process to make them!

The Bastard King of England said...