Wednesday, October 2, 2013

The Statue of the Unknown Honest Politician

Madeline, otherwise known as the Prophetess, wanted to provide some universal moral example both to instruct and to enlighten the citizenry in general, and not simply delve into the lives of old saints.*  Accordingly, this beautiful dreamer had a vision: why not erect a secular statue to the honest politician?  It would simultaneously instruct the populace as to morals, enhance the natural beauty and culture of New Orleans, and provide needed work for underemployed sculpturers.  In all, it sounded like a splendid idea to counter the general cynicism regarding elected officials.  The New York Daily News had an apt assessment of Congress, for example.

Largely with the assistance of the Action News Team, Al Gautreaux and Missy Chauvin, the Prophetess, three old geezers from the Cafe du Monde coffeehouse, a motely assortment of history professors from Tulane, Loyola, and UNO, and with some backing that Crazy Chester secured from questionable sources, they were able to purchase a lot and erect a base to place the statue upon.  It would rival the mounted statue of Andrew Jackson in Jackson Square, sans doute!  Actually, there was a lot of local enthusiasm, given the number of people working for civic improvements but also a possible frisson of discovery of some pillar of rectitude to honor.  To select the worthy individual, an ad hoc committee was selected, with the Lucky Dog Guy serving as its chair.  They were tasked simply with finding the worthy person to honor with this monument.

The committee met for months, and seemed to come up with a few candidates; but in order to be spared future embarassment, they took a page out of the canonization process for Catholic saints: they appointed a Devil's Advocate, to dig deeply for any possible guilty secrets, any indiscretions.  Al offered to be the D.A., but the appointed an outside investigator.

And what kinds of indiscretions might be overlooked?  Financial?  Bribery?  Moral?  Untruthiness?  No, our Devil's Advocate did a job worthy of the Drudge Report: as matter of fact, he said that he only had to brush away a little of the dust to disclose the unsavoriness,

Remember that a former Democratic Governor Edwin Edwards predicted that he would win the election unless they caught him in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.  But, ultimately, the committee was unable to come up with a single honest politician to grace the base and park.

While they first contempleted an allegorical statue of the Unknown Honest Politician, they instead voted in a statue to the Unknown Stripper.  They figured that was a more apt moral example to instruct and edify the community!  Even Madeline had to agree with that.


*There was an old verse about a Breton saint, St. Yves:

"St. Yves was a Breton and an attorney as well,
But not a liar, strange to tell."


Insane Penguin said...

There are no honest politicians.

MarkD60 said...

A little boy was talking to his dad. "Dad, I'm thinking about getting into organized crime when I grow up."
The dad replied unfussed, "Government or private sector?"

Juliette said...

There's no remark cooler than Mark's. My compliments, sir!

Mike said...

There are a few sripper statues in the real world.

Sinner Bob said...

Too many politicians' statues in the real world.

Vilnius has a statue of Frank Zappa.

Cloudia said...

This former stripper appreciated!

Thanks, Aloha

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Politicians are like boils on our national buttocks!

TexWisGirl said...

i like the idea of the 'unknown politician.'

Svejk said...

By all means honor strippers!

Juliette said...

Their Canadian counterparts are just as bad. But the French pols really suck at it.

Bilbo said...

I can think of 535 reasons why the honest politician is unknown. And that's just at the national level.