Monday, October 14, 2013

Tacky Competitions

The range of tacky entertainments defies imagination; yet people have come up with wet t-shirt contests, Jello wrestling, belly-flopping, and mullet tosses to serve the beer-imbibing crowds at resorts.

Without elaborating on these spectacles overmuch, my causal research indicated that lime green was the favorite Jello color.  Obviously, the Jello is rendered inedible during the process.

Some contests involve eating as an activity, such as being the one to consume the most hot dogs in a short period of time.  These gluttony events are cheered by crowds, even when one or more of the contestants loses his lunch!  Grrr-ross!

Some Tennessee guys apparently developed a sport called "butt-chugging," in which wine is taken in anally to induce intoxication.  This is a health-risky activity.

More adventurous people go in for bungee jumping and sky diving.  An old-style entertainment was the demolition derby competitions, in which drivers drive barely running cars in a field and deliberately crash into each other until only one car and driver is left in the competition.  However, the Medieval sport of jousting is a direct ancestor of this.  Maryland even declared it to be the official state sport!  Of course, the pageantry and the colorful costumes lend it an aura of respectability, I suppose.


Is there any chance that some state will adopt Jello wrestling as its state sport?  Probably not the states represented in the Southeastern Conference. 

10 comments:

Grand Crapaud said...

New Jersey might.

Since jousting is the official sport of Maryland, could we have an episode of The Wire where McNulty and Stringer Bell joust each other? Or, even better, Proposition John and Bunk?

John Hill said...

It would seem that most of the competitions mentioned are either by guys or for guys. Even though the wet t-shirt contests and jello wrestling involve women competitors, let's face it, they're for the guys.

I have (back in days long past) participated in drinking games and eating contests.

How about it, Angel? What's the most senseless or tacky competition in your past?

TexWisGirl said...

funny, my first thought was nj, too. and i know that's not fair to some of my blog friends there. :)

Mike said...

Eating as an activity isn't so much a contest as it is a national pastime.

Françoise said...

Kousting sound like a neat spectacle, almost like soccer (football)

Cloudia said...

Yesterday, teams in canoes paddled from Molokai 40+ miles here in Waikiki.


Aloha

Kristen Drittsekkdatter said...

I agree with Mike's assessment: eating is our national pastime.

Big Sky Heidi said...

I've seen pie-throwing fights and a game called skin the bunny. But midwesterners play the Cornhole Game.

Bilbo said...

I think cow-chip tossing ought to be the national pastime.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I love a good joust..or at least a good fake joust!