Thursday, June 30, 2011

Holistic Tantric Therapeutic Trombone Playing

The Lucky Dog Guy had a problem: health-conscious visitors to the French Quarter no longer relished dining on hot dogs, despite the festivity associated with that activity in the City that Care Forgot. Sales were down; but The Lucky Dog Guy, a former student of philosophy, realized that he must change with the times.
In order to gain some insights into what he was dealing with, he read a locally-produced New Age newspaper. The conclusion he reached was inescapable: hot dogs were out. Fini. Totally.

So what is an entrepreneur to do? Come up with something new. Change with the times by providing a new product.
People were concerned with their physical and psychological health. And some of them would try exotic therapeutic approaches to blissdom. The Lucky Dog Guy came to understand that there was a naiveity to many of them: if a treatment sounded alternative, if it incorporated nonmainstream approaches, they would buy into it. After all, look at how many go in for homeopathy!

He brooded on this, and asked the advice of a sage, Crazy Chester.

Crazy Chester told him to pull out all stops in his therapy: perhaps incorporate something he could do and something with a New Orleans theme. After all, the city thrived on the tourist trade. Crazy Chester added, "Oh, and by the way, throw in as many abstruse terms as possible."  The Lucky Dog Guy consulted his pocket dictionary, one of the tools of his trade.
So The Lucky Dog Guy did. And thus was born Holistic Tantric Therapeutic Trombone Playing. It worked, because of the placebo effect. The Lucky Dog Guy was a success! He held nightly sessions on the Moonwalk; and the NOPD did not molest his unlicensed business. After all, it kept the tourists out of trouble!  That's a good thing in a whiskey-and-trombone city. 


Big Sky Heidi said...

I've often held that trombone music makes the aching soul feel some rest.

Anonymous said...

I want to hear why Chester is Crazy Chester.