Friday, June 24, 2011

Forceful Goosing as a Treatment for Depression

Major depressive disorder is a pervasive problem among psychological disorders, and large numbers of people suffer from this disabling and demoralizing disorder during sometime in their lives. Numerous strategies for the treatment of depression have been used, including antidepressant medication, cognitive behavior therapy, short-term direct therapy, integrity therapy, simple behavior therapy, and even religious-based interventions. Historically, electroconvulsive therapy has been used, however shocking as it may sound to us nowadays. These different approaches have all some merit in that they might work to a greater or lesser degree. However, some (like cognitive behavior therapy or direct therapy) take large amounts of time during which the person still feels depressed, produce uncertain results (like many of the talk-based therapies or spiritual counseling), or have unpleasant side effects like loss of memory (electroconvulsive therapy), sleepiness (drugs), bad karma (electroconvulsive therapy), or have erratic behaviors or mood swings that go with treatment.

These limitations can affect therapists' or patients' selection and compliance with these treatment approaches. However, Therefore, Makim Ben Dover(1983) proposed an alternative: the use of Forceful Goosing (FG) to treat major depressive disorder.

The treatment strategy in FG is simple. The therapist-practitioner simply provides the client (or patient) with a rapid, upward thrust in the nether regions using fingers tightly together. This strategy typically causes the client to jump, squawk, and often feel better immediately afterwards. Some have even reported retrospectively enjoying the process! Despite these advantages, FG has not really caught on. Upon inquiries, I discovered that among the reasons for its failure to be adopted was health-related concerns regarding where the fingers were placed (ick!), not being willing to violate the taboo against touching the client, fear of harassment charges, and the client's lack of control over the process.

I think that these anxieties are understandable but with judicious modifications, might possibly allow for Forceful Goosing to be used. Therefore, I propose the following modification:

Prior to Forceful Goosing (FG) therapy, the process is described to the client, who in turn is free to give her or his informed consent to FG treatment. Upon this treatment, the client is fitted for a loosely-fitting thong whose strap does not initially intrude much into the cleft between the buttocks of the patient. However, this thong can be remotely radio-controlled to contract inward with the pressing of a button. The client is to wear the thong under the usual clothing; when the client (patient) presses the button he or she engages more tension in the thong strap. This FG procedure is to be done whenever feelings of blueness occur. It has an additional advantage in that the person treated does not have to worry about VPLs (visible panty lines).

Upon pressing the button, the thong strap is contracted for a duration of about three seconds. This is startling, and usually causes the patient to jump. It provides a distraction, and hinders the person from remembering why she or he felt depressed originally.

This procedure is not without concerns. One is it would provide rapid treatment that would be very cost-effective, therefy reducing the necessity for costly psychotherapies. Also, it would require participants to wear a thong that would be adjustable in terms of back strap pressure. Furthermore, there would be an inclusion of engineers as a major partner in providing mental health care. It remains to be seen what impact will this satorially-challenged group have on psychotherapy.

Forceful Goosing: its time has come now, and it's nothing to squawk about!


Duckbutt said...

Now this is a good idea!

Crystal said...

That is worth applying for a research grant.