What Do You Call a Male Buckle Bunny?

In the world of rodeo, the rodeo cowboys are the stars, and there is a set of fan girls that deliberately seek the cowboys for sex.  These specialized groupies are referred to as "buckle bunnies."

Now, as an occasional participant in rodeos, Cowgirl Melinda was aware of these lewd fillies, and it annoyed her something else that a buckaroo would mistake her for one.  No, she was the Real Deal: a honest working cowhand.  And she was adept at roping, herding, and even taming a bronc, if needed.  Melinda particularly liked the barrel races.  She was not too keen on bull-riding, though.  She was more adept at shooting the bull!

One day, she was nonplussed to find that a skinny young fella seemed to hang around where she was, and was making some nonsubtle hints as to what he wanted.  And Melinda blushed.  She was not that kind of cowgirl!
Melinda said, "Go away; you creep me out!  If you don't go away, I'll hogtie you!"  And there was something about the skinny fella's expression that told our cowgirl that she was on the wrong trail with that threat.

So she tried a different approach:  "Look, Dude......Who ever heard of a male buckle bunny?"

But the young fella set her right.  He said, "Now, consider this.  A male rabbit is called a buck, and a female rabbit a doe.  A bunny is a young rabbit of either gender.  Like a male cat is a tom, and a female cat a queen, and a young 'un's a kitten.  And a male dawg is a dog, and a female dog is a bitch, and a young one is a pup.  Okay?"

Cowgirl Melinda thought about it a bit, and said, "Well, I'm not into sharing my bedroll with you or no one.  But stop dressing like a sissy, and up your game some, and you might pass for a sex kitten of the male sorts.  Or you can wear a set of bunny ears.  But I won't make a rabbit of you!"

 

Good Girls and Bad

Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot.
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls wax their floors.
Bad girls wax their bikini line.

Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies.
Bad girls know they could do it better.

Good girls wear white cotton panties.
Bad girls don't wear any.

Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls.
Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.

Good girls pack their toothbrush.
Bad girls pack their diaphragms.

Good girls will not allow Second Base before the fifth date.
Bad girls allow Second Base before the first hour.

Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it.
Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it.

Good girls wear high heels to work.
Bad girls wear high heels to bed.

Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance.
Bad girls think no place is the wrong place.

Good girls expect that romance will last long.
Bad girls expect the guy will last long.

Products for Las Niñas

It's obvious that Americans are obsessed with bosoms.  A magazine cover featuring a well-endowed young woman of whatever skin tone or hair color tends to boost sales.  And lads' magazines regularly feature well-endowed women as part of their page count.  What two words affect magazine sales or hits at internet sites?  Wardrobe malfunction.  This expression, probably coined to excuse some skirting of public mores on national television, is another magnet.

And finally, we have the proliferation of breast enhancements, especially in the Beverly Hills area.  As former Governor Schwartzenegger once was supposed to have commented: "I like Thanksgiving.  It's the only time I can see natural breasts."

Because of this National Obsession, certain products emerged, apparently because of these events:

1.  Someone manufactures a supposed need, and plays it up.  This may generate some possible anxiety in the potential customer base.

2.  They also provide a product that reduces this manufactured need.  And imply that using this deals effectively with this problem.

Maybe I'm generating a few cheap titters by mentioning these two products, but here they are.  Two products for women with extra coins who feel that nothing is too good for her niñas.

First there's Boob Glue.  This is to keep the breasts properly in place in the brassiere or bikini top; and at a pleasing angle of perkiness.  It's marketing is based on generating anxiety regarding swimsuit malfunctions or the effects of gravity.

I can make four observations:

1.  Bras should sufficiently corral the bosoms in a way that produces a pleasing appearance, provided you are wearing one of the right size.

2.  If there is a little settling, this would not be sufficient for males to notice, unless they are carrying vernier calipers.

3.  Unintended swimsuit malfunctions are extremely rare, if you wear a swimsuit that is suitable for vigorous activity or you double-tie your strings.  Have you ever seen a swimsuit malfunction with beach volleyball players?  No, because of their swimsuits' construction.

4.  Boob Glue may have some value if you often untie your band in back or neck strap of your swimsuitou are prone toward forgetting.

Then there's Fresh Body, a powder designed to counteract the dreaded sweatiness of breasts, particularly on the ventral surfaces.  Actually, if this is a worry, baby powder should suffice.  And who can complain about babying your girls?  Possibly some Holy Roller or Puritan preacher, who is sermonizing on the perils of narcissism.

There's another possibility: boob sweat can be sexy.  Pheromones, perhaps?  Maybe spandex is not the only attraction at gyms.

And sweat is our body's way of helping cooling itself.  Don't mess with a physiological process lightly.

Opposite-Sex Friendships

In the sex-charged context of nowadays and the repeated occurrence of the term 'friend with benefits,' it is proper to assert that men and women, or boys and girls, can be friends.  Friendship can exist in a romantic and sexual contact (hopefully, romance and sex go together), or it can be free-standing. 

I deliberately refrained from writing 'just friends.'  Conceptualizing the nature of friendship that way serves to make it be perceived as less than it is or can become.  In fact, friendship can potentially extend between people of the same or dissimilar sexes, ages, races, religions, politics, or other accidents of being human.  Friendship rests in mutual good will, in kindness, in tolerance, in forgiveness, in those blessed ways that allow us to transcend being crass or self-interested. 

A friend is someone who can serve as a sounding board; and you provide one in return.  Specifically, a very close male friend helped me to understand those strange creatures (boys; later, men) and reassured me about something that females often feel vulnerable about.  And, I hope, I reassured him in matters of male vulnerability.

Female-male friendships should not be dismissed as a consolation prize.  You can never have too many friends, and friends come in different forms.  Sometimes this might even occasionally go into "friends with minor benefits," but it's okay to go back.

"Make new friends, but keep the old;
One is silver, and the other is gold."
   -- Old Girl Scout round

 

What University Administrators Want

Earlier, I commented on the term used by college administrators helicopter_parents.  These were viewed by these august staffers as parents who (from their perspective) continue to insinuate themselves into their offspring's university experience instead of fully cutting the ties and showing up at graduation or perhaps to drive them home for Christmas or the summer.

Here's a few more terms that the people in Divisions of Student Life or Services bandy about:

Suitcase college -- An institution where a sizeable part of the student body returns to their home town on weekends, leaving the campus setting largely to the fraternities, sororities, graduate students, and students that come from far away.  (Think LSU, Alabama, Georgia, or North Carolina, where significant numbers of students decamp on weekends.)  And they see this as a bad thing, when instead they could remain on campus and have deep discussions regarding the great ideas of Western or World philosophy:

"I wonder how big is his thing?"

"What would happen if I drank beer through a straw?"

"They must be double D's, at least."

"Do you think Professor Kindly is straight or gay?"

"There's no way that Kentucky will win the NCAA Championship!"

The reality often is, there's nothing to do but drink and watch television on weekends.

Then there's the  commuter college.  These are largely viewed as inferior institutions in which students live at home and drive to campus, sometimes for an hour or two.  Usually, they work part-time as well, as checkers in big box stores, wait staff, baristas, or sometimes heavy duty work.  It would seem to me that these students should be admired for their ambition and gumption to go to such an effort.  But noooooo!  It just doesn't fit in with some outdated, elitist view of what should constitute a higher education.

These student life people have their faculty counterpart in the tenured faculty member who has a distaste for teaching introductory level classes, seeing those as appropriate for the poorly-paid part-time help and teaching assistants.

Whether they like it or not, college and university students have their own needs and agendas in attending their institutions.  Somehow, providing a raison d'être for Student Life staffers is not in their program.  Obviously, there's a lot of self-interest on their part.

Risky Place Names

During the settlement days of the United States, there were several opposite tendencies in choosing what to name a town.  There was the safe strategies, either naming the place after older European cities (Paris, Rome, Syracuse, New Orleans, Moscow, etc.), naming after some historical figure (Washington, Lincoln, Franklin, Houston, Jackson), or giving some commendatory, appealing name (Happy Valley, Pleasant Grove, Golden Meadow, Oakland), or others of this type.

But there's the occasional accidental (Nome, AK) or risky choices.  Consider Placerville, CA.  It was originally known as Hangtown because of some hangings there; and I don't mean etchings or oils, either.  Well, Placerville does not help in selling real estate, but it's not as bad as Hangtown.  Or take Baton Rouge.  somehow, the French name passes for mildly exotic, while Red Stick lacks something entirely!  Surely some people in Deadwood, SD wish the place has a less stark name!  In general, these less discrete place names were probably adopted during the time in which the frontier was in flux; and large numbers  of irreverent young men were participants in the naming process.

To use some risqué examples, a number of locales, especially geographical features, bear names featuring feminine body parts, especially breasts: Grand Tetons, Teton River, Maggie's Nipples, Brassiere Hills (near Juneau Alaska), and so forth.  At any rate, more boob than butt fans were involved in the naming process.  Butte, MT is not a misspelling.  Frontier mores were ill-disposed to honor male features.  A locale in Eastern Oregon was once known as Whorehouse Meadows (according to the Bureau of Land Management) because frontier working girls pitched their tents there.  It's also known as Naughty Girl Meadows (according to the U.S. Geological Survey).  Such is the modern tendency to put lipstick on the pig or socks on the rooster.

And, most notably, there was an absence of present-day real estate developers, who lean to the safe and secure choices.

Boston vs. Merrymount

The conventional evaluation of the trends in American history see contravalent forces as dichotomous in impulse, and have been described in terms of sectional (North vs. South), political (Republican vs. Democrat), voting pattern (Blue State vs. Red State), or degree of religious involvement.  Nevertheless, what is often overlooked is orientation toward how life should be lived.

Consider the implications of these two views:

"Life is real, life is earnest, and the grave is not the goal."
                             -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"We'll sing in the sunshine; we'll laugh every day."
                             -- Lynn Anderson

The first views the person having to account for her or his life; it is something to which proper stewardship is required.  And shame be to the one who fritters his time away in pursuit of pleasure.

And yet our Declaration of Independence asserted that among common rights of all men is the pursuit of happiness.  The Declaration was not perscriptive as to how that can be obtained.

So here is another dichotomy:  There are some people who see life in terms of adhering to the straight and narrow, whether it is how the liberal or the conservative defines it, and deviance from that is to be discouraged.  The nature of this deviance is incidential; whether it be alcohol or marijuana or hunting or wearing plaid or being opposed to federal regulations.  Fussbudget HOAs fall in this category.  The bottom line: social solidarity and rule adherence trumps the carefree pursuit of self-referenced pleasure . . . .

And there are others who see it okay for someone else to pursue pleasure in his own way.  These types may be geographically dispersed: Nevada and some parts of Florida seem to be amenable to this view.   On the other hand, there is the Bible Belt and other equivalents to it.

I got the impression that this has been a 300-year struggle for the psyche of America: the conflict between the tightly rule-bound and the loose.  Maybe it has to do with our history: the region that is today the United States had been settled by people who had in their own time fit in poorly with whatever society they originated from.  True, sometimes they demanded more stringency.  After all, the Puritans came here to establish a City on a Hill; not a place to do whatever the hell you pleased.  And they were not for freedom of religion as an abstraction; only for their own brand.

But there were others who had a different view.  Maybe it was simply to quietly worship in their own way; maybe they wanted to carouse a bit; maybe they just simply wanted to sleep late on Sunday and not be hammered with two-hour sermons!  These were the original dissenters.

Some went to nearby Merrymount with Thomas Morton, erected a maypole, dispensed beer, and invited the nearby Native American girls.  Governor Endicott was having nothing of that: he sent the militia to disperse those offenders.  "Put your clothes on, sober up, and we'll see you in church next week for you to do some serious repentance.  And stop wearing those infernal beads!"