Funny Place Names

Why not look at a few funny place names?  Sometimes people get quite creative in coming up with a name for where they live.

The first funny place name comes from its apparent origin: It was a mistake.  Apparently, Nome received its name through an error that occurred when a British cartographer copied a note made by a British officer on a nautical chart during his voyage up the Bering Strait. The officer had written "? Name" next to the unnamed cape. The mapmaker misread this as "C. Nome", or Cape Nome, and added that name on his own chart.  The name stuck.   Nome had a gold rush in the early 1900's.


Not being content with one place named Boogerton, Tennessee and North Carolina each have one.  Tissues and antihistamines are used aplenty in both places.

 

Apparently, some Amish in Pennsylvania discovered a new form of recreation, and named one of their towns after this pleasant pursuit.

 

 

A community in Georgia honored the Great American Orgasm in their place-name.  Since there is more than one Climax in the U.S., we must note that multiple orgasms are as American as apple pie.

 

 

 

If there is a place needing a name change, it is Anus, France.  Is there a Cloaca nearby?  At least the residents know where their heads are.

 

 

 

I wonder about the safety in this small Texas community.  Presumably, the N.R.A. has a strong presence here.  Does the local E.R. have weekend specials?

 

 

A harder than usual toilet for the stouthearted residents here.

 

 

 

This is appropriate, as Mississippi has the highest rate of obesity in the United States. 

 

 

Another town in Mississippi: one addicted to a legal stimulant.  No warranty as to the quality of the coffee.   Is there a Starbuck's there?

 

 

Bookend flatuses are not honored here.  It's the middle one that must be properly stressed in this Danish place.

 

 

Small towns sometimes do have an activity shortage, but this place just gave up!

 

 

For excessively narcissistic people.

 

 

 

Residents in this place in Maryland must be forgiven for always expecting something bad to happen.

 

Doesn't look much like an elephant; maybe a hippo.

 

 

Here's an oddly-named town in Washington that is proud of its modern city dump.

 

 

Scrupulousity in card-playing and business is the rule here in Kentucky.

 

 

A fabulous drugstore in one place; and rough water in the other?

 

 

This Pennsylvania town makes me wonder why a neighboring place was not named Two-in-Bush.

 

 

This town is in Devon, England. 

 

 

Not hardly a commendation for this place but possibly a reason why it did not grow.

 

 

Yes, there is just such a place in Kentucky.  Fussy wordsmiths from New England said that the sign should read 'Opossum Trot.'

 

 

 Opportunity comes knocking in Montana:

 

 

 

Happy traveling in 2013, you all!

Justifiable Verbicide

Every year, Lake Superior State University, in Northern Michigan, issues a list of words that should be banned from the Queen's English for misuse, overuse and general uselessness that has appeared annually each New Year's Day and is an annual event because new linguistic weeds keep on cropping up in everyday usage. People from around the world are encouraged to nominate or expressions that offend them, such as "you know," "whatever," "at this point in time," and "have a nice day," that the nominator feels should be purged from the language.

This, of course, is mostly tongue-in-cheek.  However, some of the 2012 winners should be taken seriously:  "baby bump" is one of those.  It is considered a matter of delicacy to refer to a particular woman's pregnancy; especially if it turns out that said pregnancy is unplanned or that the woman is not pregnant!  To blatantly refer to someone's baby bump is too stark and intrusive, for me.

And, for God's sake; have some more respect for guys' rooms than to refer to them as "man caves"!  Or at least employ a parallel usage, woman caves."  There, our inner Neanderthals can carve up and dine on saber-toothed tigers.

Here's the current list:

http://www.lssu.edu/banished/current.php

And here are previous year's lists:

http://www.lssu.edu/banished/archived_lists.php

Naturally, you surely have your own words you would like to see expunged.  You can nominate them by using this form:

http://www.lssu.edu/banished/submit_word.php

I must confess some ambivalence with regard to the outright banning of words or expressions.  Some are extremely annoying, and need not to be used, especially the over-used ones.  Some convey no additional content, and serve just as filler words:  "you know," "just sayin'."   I guess I feel the same about specifics of banning words like I do about capital punishment: slightly against it, but glad when it's used on a real scoundrel!

I think that many jurors would support a defense of justifiable verbicide in the case of some of these expressions.

[397]

Investigator Boudreaux and the Cockfight

The Louisiana State Police had gotten wind that illegal cock fights were becoming big in the rural areas around Lafayette. They decided to send in Boudreaux, their best undercover detective.

Boudreaux spent several weeks doing surveillance and came back to headquarters to report the results of his investigation.

Boudreaux said, "Dere is tree main group in dis cock fightin' bisness."

"Who are dey?", his Sergeant asked.

Boudreaux replied, "De Aggies, De Cajuns, and de Mafia."

"How you know?", asked the sergeant?

"Well," said Boudreaux, "I done seen da cock fight, Cher. I knowed da Aggies was involved when a duck was entered in de cock fight."

"What about the others?" questioned the Sergeant.

 "Well, I knowed da Cajuns was involve when sumbody bet on da duck. You know dem Cajuns, dey drink too much an say 'Aw, what da hell?', an dey'll do anyting dats kinda crazy."

"Mais, Boudreaux," axed the Sergeant, "How you know da Mafia's involved too?"

 Boudreaux said, "Dat's de easiest part. De damn duck won it!!"

She's a Real Girl!

Recently a group of us watched Lars and the Real Girl together, as an indulgent Chicks Night In, with munchies and drinks that the Calories Gods had previously pronounced low cal[!]  Anyway, the movie, starring Ryan Gosling, was a tale about a lonely, shy man who had an interesting fantasy life.  In the story, he obtained a Real Girl, a reasonably lifelike model of a young woman that he named Bianca.  I won't give the plot away in case you haven't seen it; but it was strangely touching while avoiding true creepiness and had a satisfying ending.

Later on, I looked into the existence of such a product. There is such a product available, marketed under the name RealDoll, and each costs about a cool $6000.  You can Google this product's website if you wish; be warned that the product site is somewhat graphic!

Basically, the RealDoll is designed to recreate the appearance, texture, and weight of the human female primarily to serve as surrogate sex partners. They come in 9 different body types and 16 different faces.  They can be dressed in different types of clothing, changing wigs or makeup, and even adjusted in body temperature by use of electric blankets or baths.

According to the detailed Wikipedia article, their use is not exclusively sexual.  They may serve as stand-ins for human models in photographs or other visual arts.  Some owners also use the dolls as non-sexual companion substitutes, maintaining a chaste relationship with them.  Still other owners buy the dolls simply because they consider them to be beautiful works of art.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Realdoll

Well, I hope you did not find this topic uncomfortable.  But how do these Real Girls or RealDolls fit into the everyday scheme of things?  For a start, could she be listed as a dependent on your income tax return?  Do many women own Real Girls?   What state has the greatest percentage of owners of Real Girls per population?  Will they come our with a minister's wife version of the Real Girl someday?

Does a thoughtful owner choose her ensembles carefully and with taste?   I hope that he would have more self-respect and sensitivity than to dress his Real Girl like a tart!  Something classy, like an evening gown or a little black dress, perhaps?  And shouldn't there be a period of acquaintance before any intimacies take place?  After all, even a Real Girl is entitled to have a good reputation! 

A thoughtful Real Girl owner would periodically buy her flowers; and special little gifts!  And take her to nice places: the opera, concerts, lectures.

Suppose a Real Girl owner were to meet a real life flesh-and-blood real girl or woman later?  How would she deal with her predecessor?  I would assume that they would not be so depraved as to live in a ménage a trois!  Wouldn't there there be jealousy issues?  Shouldn't there be a retirement plan for the Real Girl?  I would also assume that no one would be so crass as to sell his Real Girl.  If relegated to the closet, could she come out of special occasions?

Obviously, using a Real Girl sexually is an example of a paraphilia.  As such, it then raises the question as to whether there is a subrosa subculture of Real Girl affectionados.  Is there a demi-monde where they can convene, buy their Real Girl appropriate clothes and jewelry, and dine out together?  And what is one to think of some high roller who has more than one?  Is that morally equivalent to polygamy?  It seems that we have some questions to resolve as these Real Girls become more mainstream.

Also still to be resolved is whether transporting your Real Girl in the passenger seat qualifies your car for the multiple passenger lanes on expressways!





Coffee

You can look at coffee either positively or negatively. 

When coffee was first widely introduced into Europe, it was viewed with suspicion, especially because it was available in coffeehouses, which were regarded as hotbeds of sedition.  Unlike in taverns where habitués simply got nicely swocked and disorderly, people tend to be totally awake when they drink coffee.  Sometimes they talk sense about the usual order of things; and this is not looked on with pleasure by the powers that be.  Another reason: coffee-drinking came from Muslim countries, and it was regarded initially as a Muslim drink.  However, Pope Clement VIII declared it to be "a Christian drink" in 1600, and coffee-drinking became okay eventually, except for with the seventeenth century food Nazis.

And make no mistake: coffee is a psychoactive drug.  It is a mild stimulant.  Furthermore, there is some evidence of dependence with regular, large dosages.  Italians drink coffee as a simple self-medication: to get an immediate feeling of alertness.  And, whether we care to admit it on not, many of us do too.  Like me.

Regard coffee-making as a Zen exercise.  You have to have the right attitude and style to do it right.  If you stray from the Eightfold Path, you will make less than a great cup of coffee.  Specifically, you cannot make good coffee if you use a dirty pot!

As a former barista, making and serving coffee was enjoyable because a nice cup of coffee seemed to make people happy if prepared well!  However their day might have been going, at least they could sit down and enjoy a good cup of coffee and enjoy a brief respite from their cares.

Coffee is, in my opinion, a secular sacrament.  You should take it seriously. 

When coffee is made, it has a very short shelf life.  When you make it, use it right away!  As a matter of fact, this is the primary problem with convenience store coffee: it stands overly long and becomes bitter.  And a bitter cup of coffee embitters the drinker.

I wonder if many marital problem have their beginnings with a poorly-made or bitter cup of coffee.  And maybe some of the great screwups of government are due to bad coffee.  Maybe we ought to pay more attention to what kind of coffee is served at Presidential Cabinet meetings and how it's prepared!  It's said that the little things get us down; but coffee is more than that.

I drink chicory coffee about 60% of the time.  Usually, I adulterate it with evaporated milk or Half-and-Half.  A teaspoon of sugar can also be added, if needed.  Sometimes a little Sambuca or Fra Angelico will make a festive coffee for an evening's drink for you to share with a lover!

Experiment with other liqueurs like Irish Cream or Grand Marnier: you will be doubly delighted with one of your own creation!

Merry Christmas

 

 

Best wishes for a wonderful Christmas with all its joys!

 

Angel

Zen and the Art of Dorkery

Dorks are typically more noted for having quirky personalities, behaviors, and interests. While their interests or abilities may or may not be on the level with the traditional geeks or nerds, they have a better ability to laugh at themselves or others and are usually less socially threatening, a survival feature in today's conformist world. 

However, they are social skill-challenged; which can pose problems for them. Like geeks and nerds, they are quintessinal outsiders; but nevertheless, they are less likely to be criticized than are the other two categories because of their ability to enjoy life and pursue their own quirky interests in their own way.  As a matter of fact, there is a movement in some states to make dorks a protected species by well-meaning legislators who had presumably failed biology. 

The assumption of dork status has its own duties and burdens; but the neophyte dork would do well to follow the Eightfold Path of Dorkery:

1. Correct Interests -- Let your interests be exotic, non-threatening, and slightly amusing to others. Role-playing games, anime cosplay, collecting baseball cards, and rolling marbles down steps are okay. Anything that falls into the category of intimidating interests is not. For God's sake, don't be an expert on French cinema. And don't use the word 'cinema.' Political people can be so boring.  Amateur radio is so retro. 

2. Correct Dress -- Strive for slight quirkiness, having a few small departures from correct fashion. Generally try not to dress too outlandish or sexy. The latter is generally not a problem with guy dorks. In general, dressing as a Goth or a Sweet Loli is going overboard.

3. Correct Self-Display -- Release subtle cues regarding your unique interests; don't be overbearing or in everyone else's face. The maven and the otaku are pains in the behind. I personally avoid these.

4. Correct Insouance -- Be seemingly unaware of others' reactions to your interests. Implicitly, this communicates that you do not follow the rules or even have an awareness that there are rules. However, insouance should be practiced in moderation; don't give the impression that you don't give a [euphemism].

5. Correct Balance -- Avoid letting your esoteric interest creep into your family or work life. Well, you can have a Hello Kitty toy in the office, if you're female and that's what you like. But don't paint your office or bedroom to look like a Hello Kitty setting.   And, heavens, don't paint your house in your team's colors. I would restrain myself and not paint mine purple and gold, if I had a house.  A purple and gold apartment brings owners' complaints.

6. Correct Friends -- Be around positive people. Avoid politicians or mossbacks or televangelists. They are wearisome and a bruden to the soul.

7. Correct Beliefs -- Cultivate some that are un-mainstream, or even those that are dated. But avoid the faddish ones, like the Da Vinci Code or the paranoid streak that sometimes permeates the heat-oppressed brains of Hollywood types.

8. Correct Beverage -- Coffee, beer, or energy drinks. Use nothing involving excessive sweetness or possessing cute names. Whoever thought of drinks like the Shirley Temple, Sex on the Beach, the Bosom Caresser, or the Bloody Awful should be kicked. [I'm not making those drink names up.]