A Clarification of a Not-So-Weird French Law

In compendiums of odd or weird laws, one of those often cited is that in France, it is illegal to kiss on railways. (Something tells me this law often gets broken in France.)

Actually, the law specifically was written as a safety measure.  It is a measure to prevent kissers from engaging in osculation (and possible follow-up activities) while being physically on the railroad tracks.  It anticipates that the lovers might be distracted, and fail to see, hear, or feel an incoming train.

However, if you are riding in a coach, you may kiss a willing partner to your mutual hearts' delights.

There's still the odd French law to be explained: why it is illegal to name your pig Napoleon?

Faking of Orgasms

Erin Cooper and other researchers at  Temple University and Kenyon College have recently looked into the faking of orgasms by women, using a Faking Orgasm Scale for Women and querying 481 heterosexual women who were sexually active yet not yet in committed relationships about why they do so.

http://bps-research-digest.blogspot.com/2014/05/ill-have-what-shes-having-developing.html

They determined that there were four motives for their doing so:

1)  Altruistic deceit -- To spare the feelings of one's sexual partner ("Poor baby!  He tries so hard . . . . he needs to be encouraged.")
2)  Fear and insecurity -- To avoid the negative emotions that might go with the disappointment that bells did not ring on that occasion.
3)  To speed up the end of the sexual activity -- ("Maybe if I act out an orgasm, he will stop in time for me to watch The Good Wife.")
4)  To increase their own arousal -- ("If I act out an orgasm, maybe it will follow.  Much like 'If you build it, they will come.'")  

(Over two years ago, I suggested that this might be a reason for women faking orgasms.)

http://evil-pop-tart.blogspot.com/2012/04/pascals-wager-and-faking-orgasms.html


While altruistic deceit was the most commonly-reported reason, fear and insecurity came in second.  Interestingly, to increase their own arousal was the third most commonly-cited reason.  In general,  pretending to enjoy sex can actually make the whole experience more pleasurable, according to their published research in the Journal of Sexual Archives.

The team found that women were more likely to fake orgasms to turn themselves on, rather than to do it to end sex.

But the most common reason for faking an orgasm was altruism, with women reporting they did not want to hurt their sexual partner’s feelings.  However, the Faking Orgasm Scale for Women provided quantitative evidence suggesting women may also fake orgasm for far more ‘selfish’ reasons, like increasing their own arousal.   

http://bps-research-digest.blogspot.com/2014/05/ill-have-what-shes-having-developing.html

Tapirs and Dreams

In a Japanese myth, Bakus are spirits that eat dreams and nightmares. They are frequently represented as tapirs.

These creatures may thus serve a useful function, or engage in ill-timed behavior. For example, if you’re dreaming of some accomplishment, say winning the Nobel Prize for Medicine or Physics, writing the Great American Novel, appearing on a magazine cover, or making that sublime cherry pie, a dream-eating tapir is highly inconvenient, to say the least! On the other hand, you are glad when he comes up with an appetite to deal with that nightmare of being unprepared for that examination, receiving an unexpected budget-wrecking bill, losing your best friend, or being in the guillotine!

Dream eater or nightmare eater? That is the question. How do you tell the difference in tapirs? I asked a highly-qualified scientist from Minnesota Technological Institute and Divinity School, Dr. B. Fuddle.  Dr. Fuddle in fact informed me that there were two subtypes of tapirs, motivated by different flavor preferences. He informed me that pleasant dreams have a flavor of barbecue with a tomato and molasses-based sauce, while nightmares taste like barbecue with a Carolina mustard-based sauce.

“So, the dream-eating tapirs prefer Memphis barbecue, while the nightmare-eating tapirs prefer Carolina barbecue?”

“Precisely,” Professor Fuddle asserted without any of the usual beating around the bush associated with scientists.
I regard mustard-based sauces for barbecue to be nightmarish, anyway; and prefer the Memphis dry rub preparation, myself.

Swim Suit Anxiety

In general, I don't worry overly much about the appropriateness of my swimwear, since it is within the normal range of acceptability, except perhaps in Utah.  However, recently I experienced a turnabout that caused me to think about things from a different perspective.

The occasion was a trip to a pool party; and I was invited by a guy I know casually and I accepted.  It was a nice gathering, and most of the people were convivial.  A few drinks helped things along.

However, when it came time to actually go swimming, and we disrobed down to our swimsuits, I was startled with the sight: my companion was wearing a very brief, unlined swimsuit!  As brief a swimsuit as males could wear publicly, and it really did not conceal any secrets at all!  Too much information, considering our brief acquaintance.

My first thought was, "My God, does he know how much he's showing?"  (Yes!)  My second one was, "Oh please God, let that thing have a back to it!"  (It did.)  I was totally conflicted: one side of me viewed him as having a perfect right to flaunt his body if he desired however tacky it might seem; but the other side of me was totally distracted and embarrassed by the overt display of his crotch.

While in the Ladies' Room, one of the other women commented to me, "Angel, your date's definitely proud of the size of his package."  And there was speculation on how it would perform in service, as ribald a topic as might be discussed in such a setting.  I was uncomfortable until he finally put his outer garments on.  I wonder also, if I should dress more conservatively for the beach or pool.

Actually, I remembered an other occasion in which, while I was walking, a runner approached who was wearing an equivalent-sized swimsuit and no shirt.

It was one of the professors.  Definitely not dressed as at the campus.  I thought he was underdressed for street wear.  Proud of his physique, I guess. 

I have a bit of a prudish side, I guess.  Therefore, no picture today.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Okay, I wrote this about two weeks ago.  Since, then, this article came out in Slate.

Apparently, he's in favor of speedos.

Ghostwriters in the Sky

"Stealing from one is plagiarism; stealing from many is research."
                                                         --Wilson Mizner

Lately, the subrosa trade of ghostwriting has made the news.  Apparently, the ghostwriter of Hillary Clinton's upcoming book has been reported as having been paid $500,000 for her job.  What's more, her name is before the public; an advantage in case some other political aspirant would like to increase her or his gravitas by adding a book to the credentials.  Her previous ghostwriter, the one who wrote It Takes a Village, merited nary a word.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/who-wrote-that-political-memoir-no-who-actually-wrote-it/2014/06/09/8e89ccae-f00a-11e3-9ebc-2ee6f81ed217_story.html?tid=hpModule_d39b60e8-8691-11e2-9d71-f0feafdd1394

It must produce some mixed feelings in the writer and the faux author when the product wins a major award, like when Profiles in Courage won the Pulitzer Prize!  Theodore Sorensen, who actually wrote the book for all practical purposes, surely wished it was his name on the cover and not John Kennedy's!

Anyway, this is a fairly common and accepted practice among politicians, a dismal bunch who you can always tell when they're lying: Their lips move.

In academe, there is a more severe standard; at least in reputation.  Just about every university has formal standards regarding plagiarism: the passing off of another's writing as one's own.  And grave penalties are assessed for any sin of plagiarism.  Usually a failing grade and sometimes ritual beheading.

Unless the person is an athlete on an Atlantic Coast Conference institution or a college president.

What is not generally known is that on many universities there is an underclass of grad student who will write, for a fee, a term paper on a specific topic, including doing some of the research to support the paper.  These literary call girls or gigolos can usually write an A- or B-level paper while still having it read like it was written by an undergraduate.  Using a little pot while writing helps!

However, if the undergraduate purchaser in question has a fourth-grade vocabulary, then professors develop skepticism.

As a matter of fact, some of the recently-reported chicanery regarding term papers written for athletes was due to Athletic Departments referring the writer!

Now, we're not talking big bucks here.  Athletic Department largesse does not run high for that service.  But, in the increasing likelihood of the unionization and paying of college athletes, would it be possible for these term paper ghostwriters to be likewise unionized, better paid, and have the usual package of fringe benefits as well?

  

How I Was Pranked

I'm going to admit to being pranked, but good.

It happened back when I was a textbook rep.  Now part of the job was working the academic conventions.  These combined the aspects of the true scholarly meeting with learned papers presented and discussed on a celestial level, a meat market for hiring new talent for teaching America's young adults, and a venue for advertising new products, primarily textbooks.

Actually, working a convention was a plum job occasion, unlike being a road warrior visiting individual campuses and calling on busy professors.  Usually, you get to stay in a nice hotel; and there are social occasions open in the evening.  If you're a textbook rep, it's an opportunity to meet potential customers; and if you have grad school ambitions, it's possibly a way of making connections to get into a good program.

Anyway, one evening I was invited to a party to be held in a hotel suite.  I put on my best evening clothes, made myself up artfully (I thought), and hoped to make a good impression.

When I arrived, I was offered an alcoholic beverage.  Since I was barely legal, I accepted.

Then I noticed the composition of the group.  The men were of mature age, no twenties and few in their thirties; the women were twenty-something and flashy.
 
I felt mismatched.  I was the only one not displaying major décolletage.  As a matter of fact, I think I was the only woman wearing underwear!  Well, not quite.  I met another textbook rep, and we compared notes.

It seems that the other ladies at the party were a different kind of working girl!

Just then an older man approached us, commented that we seem to be  the innocents, and asked if one of us would like to accompany him to his room later on.

We declined politely, and got the hell out of there!

Apparently, this sort of party does happen after hours at some conventions.  Some clown decided that it would be a hoot to invite the textbook girls to a bimbo party!

Jubilee!

The summer months bring an interesting natural phenomenon on the Eastern shore of Mobile Bay in Alabama: the Jubilee!   Irregularly, during the summer, the depletion of the oxygen levels in the water cause marine life in the Bay to seek out shallow waters.  This results in masses of crabs, shrimp, and flounders being easily accessible for people to pick up and put in baskets.

This Jubilee phenomenon only happens in the Summer, primarily in August.  It is a pre-dawn phenomenon.  And it only occurs in the Baldwin County section of Mobile Bay from just north of Daphne to Point Clear.  It never happened on the Mobile County side; and apparently it does not occur in other bays.  (Biloxi Bay, Pensacola Bay, and Pascagoula Bay have never recorded a Jubilee event, for example.)

These Jubilees are hard to predict, except for occurring in the summer, primarily in August, and pre-dawn.  When one does occur, there's spreading of the word through the bay coastal towns, to Foley, and to Gulf Shores.  People appear with bushel baskets and coolers.  Package stores are induced to open; and people bring beer down to the waterside and pass cans to strangers in an impromptu festival!   Sharing beer and cold drinks is part of the ritual.  It's a spontaneous party that pops up at 3 or 4 A.M, and goes on for hours.

The participants are jubilant; and after a while go home and sleep a little late in the morning.  That is why some Baldwin County businesses may open late without warning.