How to be popular with guys? This is usually an unstated question because most girls and women think they know the answer. Or they come up with the usual suspects: (a) have a large chest and flaunt it; (b) smile a lot; (c) be sociable and outgoing; (d) flip your hair and do attention-provoking actions; (e) make out early and often; (f) adopt interests that guys are likely to have.
Yes, some of these might work. But there's one strategy that is often overlooked:
Be sweet! Don't be snarky!
Yes, the habit of snarkiness is easily learned through reinforcement and modeling. There's the instant gratification that comes through the self-gratification of being clever, or thinking one has been, through a well-timed snarky comment. And, let's face it: television comedy and drama programs almost reflexively fall back on sarcasm or snarkiness to further dialogue along. Years ago, I religiously watched Veronica Mars. But I learned not to unleash my inner snarkiness on family, friends, and boys.
Authority figures? That was another matter. But never, never unleash snarkiness or sarcasm on guys. Your victim will dislike you, and others will fear your sharp tongue.
And you have become an aversive person to them.
So remember this, with apologies to Lewis Carroll:
Yes, some of these might work. But there's one strategy that is often overlooked:
Be sweet! Don't be snarky!
Yes, the habit of snarkiness is easily learned through reinforcement and modeling. There's the instant gratification that comes through the self-gratification of being clever, or thinking one has been, through a well-timed snarky comment. And, let's face it: television comedy and drama programs almost reflexively fall back on sarcasm or snarkiness to further dialogue along. Years ago, I religiously watched Veronica Mars. But I learned not to unleash my inner snarkiness on family, friends, and boys.
Authority figures? That was another matter. But never, never unleash snarkiness or sarcasm on guys. Your victim will dislike you, and others will fear your sharp tongue.
And you have become an aversive person to them.
So remember this, with apologies to Lewis Carroll:
"Come listen, fair chick,
And I'll tell you a trick
To avoid that unmistakable mark;
Lest people might know
Wherever you go,
You're a warranted genuine snark."
11 comments:
Great balls of fire... I think I'm healed! Yes? No?
My daughters and I discuss this sometimes....it's often hard to keep your tongue under control!
Good advice -- for guys wanting to be popular with girls, too!
Nice poem about snarkiness.
Angel, you really display a lot of insight disguised as clever posts. This is a rare gifts. Yes, sometimes authority figures deserve well regulated snark. I'm sure you have the judgement to refrain when it might be dangerous to life, limb, or safety! Can't wait to see what you come up with next. We gotta get you shooting some pics?
(g) have a nice tush.
That way when a guy is doing his admiring the snark is headed in the other direction.
This rule doesn't apply to upper class Englishmen. They love all that snarky shit, it reminds them of their nannies.
Good advice for all, but a well timed comment can be a wonderful thing.
I agree with Cloudia. Your posts are always worth a read.
(h) wear see-through yoga pants.
John is right ... the advice works both ways! Great post, as usual!
i refuse to hide my wit. :)
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