Friday, October 9, 2015

"Don't You Know Who I Am?"

A few prominent people, especially in entertainment or politics, have attempted to play the celebrity card: "Don't you know who I am?" One case in particular, a blonde actress in several movies, used something approximate to this when she was stopped for a D.U.I. offense. 

And sometimes this appeal to celebrity status works. This is especially if the user can bring to bear mucho local clout! Well, in the mountainous counties, a local deputy or constable or some minor lawman stopped a county official and righteous church deacon (and local bootlegger) named Purvis hauling a truckload of liquor and beer into a dry county. Since he looked suspiciously driving fast and weaving on the road with so many curves, the deputy turned on his siren to have a look-see. 

Well, he strode up to the truck, asked to see the driver's license, and started to question the driver about his load. You see, this was a highway off the beaten path, a road known both as the Tail of the Dragon and as the Road to Perdition. It was a favorite for bravos or fools to demonstrate their edginess by having a few for the road and then driving the Tail of the Dragon. 

Well, ol' Purvis tried to play the celebrity card" "Don't you know who I am?" 

Well, the deputy didn't know him from Adam, so he guessed.

"Miley Cyrus?"

Well, that got ol' Purvis in a fighting way; but that was not a good plan. The deputy bopped him on the noggin; and told him, "You dumb ass! You just crossed the state line. Welcome to North Carolina. You inna dry county, sweetheart! And you gonna go to jail. Do not go past go!"

Sometimes deacons got to trust the Lord and use their G.P.S.


Meredith said...

The question - don't you know who I am? - is almost begging for a disappointment!

John Hill said...

Local clout only works locally.

Mike said...

It's crazy that there are still dry counties. Still. Dry Counties. I unconsciously made a pun. It's a great start to a Friday!

Leroy said...

Dry counties are nice because they set the bar for wickedness very low!

Anemone said...

Never play the celebrity card unless you can offer free tickets. Would a cop write a ticket to Megan Fox?

Linda Kay said...

So funny. I think if I were he, I would be embarrassed to let the office know my identity.

TexWisGirl said...


Cloudia said...

Sometimes it pays to treat folks good - even deputies



Duckbutt said...

I lived in a dry county (Lauderdale) once. When it went wet, it went wet with a vengeance!

Bilbo said...

I would never ask a police officer if he knew who I was, because he just might!

Dixie@dcrelief said...

Braying donkeys should never play, "Pin the Tail."