Dildoes on a Texas Campus

Shootings on college campuses have made the news lately; and the Governor of Texas recently signed a Senate bill allowing for open carrying of guns on public campuses. This will effectively make some campuses return to the wild west days! What next? Dance halls and saloon girls? Playing poker openly? 

In response to making open carrying of guns on campus legal, concerned University of Texas students advocate an open carrying of dildos on the University of Texas campus! I'm not sure of the full reasoning behind it, except that public display of sex toys are illegal in the Lone Star State but now guns are not! Does the Texas legislature fear more from dildos than guns?

Perhaps this kind of ironic protest was not the best idea. Dildos may become another accessory to be differentiated by style and taste. I can imagine some upscale Dallas students saying, "I wouldn't be caught dead carrying a red or purple dildo!" or a fashion section of a Texas newspaper proclaiming, "Banana yellow vibrators are the in thing this year with the fashion-conscious."

And etiquette questions will undoubtedly arise: 1) Are guys also allowed to carry a dildo? 2)  Is carrying more than one dildo the equivalent of having too many piercings? 3) Are some dildo styles more appropriate for formal occasions? 

While some Texas guys might become jealous of their ladies' dildos, I imagine that more would be inclined to encourage them to carry supersized dildos. After all, image is everything in our very public open culture and no self-respecting guy wants to be seen as inadequate!

And would a person having more than one be regarded as a slut? We're talking about a possible morality gap here!

While I can sympathize with the Texas students' frustration of guns and shootings on campuses, I am too inhibited to carry one openly. Also, I think that the act of women carrying dildos on campus effectively makes for distractions to classroom presentations that no soundness or depth of preparation on my part could counteract. Maybe Texas instructors are better at it!

Who knows? We may even see automobile bumper plates bearing slogans like, "You can take my dildo when you pry it out of my cold dead fingers."